Dear Dr. Romance:

I need your advice. My ex and I broke up a while ago but still talked everyday. Anyways,
long story short, I decided I can't talk to him anymore because we both need to change and find
out who we are and learn to treat each other better.

He continues calling and texting. I don't reply.
He tries adding me on facebook, I denied. So he messages me asking why I don't pick up/ I didn't
pick up so in a little while he writes another message randomly telling me he is making it work with
another girl.

What is the reason behind this random message? Is he trying to make me jealous?

Another thing is I'm not sure if i made the wrong move. He kept on calling and messaging that he
really needs to talk. I finally picked up and his reason was to ask me why I wouldn't respond. I'm
not sure if me picking up was the wrong move. Nothing really happened in that conversation
anyhow. I just don't wanna make anymore mistakes and feel inferior to him in any way.

 I would like to know what to do. He is contacting my sister now, telling her I'm a drama
queen and he's glad we don't talk, but yet right after he still texts telling me he doesn't why i don't
respond. And still calls. I think he's just trying to get my attention.

Dear Reader:  

Please be careful. It was a mistake to pick up the phone. Yes, he's trying to make you jealous.
He'll do anything at all to get a response. This guy is at the beginning of stalking you, and if you
show him that persistence will get him a response, he'll keep on persisting. So, every response
creates many, many more calls. I suggest you block his phone calls, and continue not responding
on Facebook.

You don't need to know what he's saying. If you don't respond at all, he will
eventually let go. Don't be nice -- he's not being nice. Just let him go.  Block him everywhere, and if he gets through, don't respond. If he calls you from another phone, hang up the minute you know it's him.

Know the signs of emotional blackmail:

1. A demand. Your ex won't take "no" for an answer, and requests are really demands.

2. Resistance. When every discussion turns into an argument.

3. Pressure. Your ex pressures you to talk to him.

4. Threats. Your ex uses threatening or coercing tactics: threatening, tears, rage, badgering.
It's very important that you let him go, completely. Ask your friends not to talk to you about
what he's doing. Let it go.

 "How to Keep Yourself Out of a Violent Relationship" will give you what you need to know to keep yourself safe.  It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction can help you figure out why you are involved with such a crazy guy.

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Author's Bio: 

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., "Dr. Romance," http://www.tinatessina.com, is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California, with 35+ years experience in counseling individuals and couples and CRO (Chief Romance Officer) for Love Filter - the Relationships Website. She's the author of 13 books in 17 languages, including Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage; Lovestyles: How to Celebrate Your Differences; and The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. She publishes the Happiness Tips from Tina email newsletter, and the Dr. Romance Blog. She has written for and been interviewed in many national publications, and she has appeared on Oprah, Larry King Live and many other TV and radio shows.