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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dear Dr. Romance: Even though i dont want to talk to him, i miss him - by Submitted on Oct 27, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a college girl doing master degree. I am facing some problems pertaining to my love life and i wan help from u. My relation with my boyfriend is about a year old. After we got committed he is transferred to a different state. We are away from each other for the past ...
Views: 1281 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am determined to make a better life for myself no matter what happens to my marriage - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I happen to be going through an extremely difficult time in my life right now. My husband was unfaithful during the time that I was "absent" from the marriage due to my mother dying from brain cancer. Of course, there were problems long before this and this ...
Views: 1280(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: Apology and Forgiveness - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: In my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they're wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing -- where one's early family may have picked a "culprit" when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than ...
Views: 1280(1 vote) - JEALOUSY, FAITHFULNESS AND DISTANCE - by Submitted on May 18, 2015 from Tina TessinaSo many couples are now separated part- or full-time because of military deployment and/or work travel and schedules, I get a lot of questions about faithfulness. Your marriage vows may have said, “'til death do us part” but no one said anything about what happens when a military ...
Views: 1280 - These Decisions Can Increase Your Happiness - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2014 from Tina TessinaWhen you use smart decisions and self-awareness to shape your life, it will reflect your deepest aspirations and your fondest dreams. 1. Make your life your own. Decide to re-decide. Re-examine your goals and dreams. Don't just assume that what you wanted yesterday is ...
Views: 1280 - Dear Dr. Romance: Please help, our family is growing apart - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Q: My father died 1 1/2 years ago.My mom always snaps at me and my older brother and I think she has a serious problem. I personally think it's a power struggle because she fells like she is loosing control over my brother and I. But, what she ...
Views: 1278(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: How Not to Fight - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Myths and Expectations about Fighting: There are many myths and expectations about fighting in marriage. Couples come into my office frequently believing that fighting is a necessary part of being a couple; that all married couples fight; and it’s a normal part of ...
Views: 1277(1 vote) - Give Yourself a Gift - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2014 from Tina TessinaWant to give yourself a holiday gift that will last the rest of your life? Try giving yourself the gift of happiness. Research shows that happiness and satisfaction depend more on the inner person than on external circumstances. The secret to living a happy life is to get in charge of your life ...
Views: 1275 - Dear Dr. Romance: I have been hit, controlled and manuipulated (by husband and in-laws) - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am writing to you for some advice... I hope you can help. I am the mother of 5 children, in my mid-thirties, and married for about 10 years. I have been abused for years. People I know tell me to fix my marriage that "You could've handled this better or that." I don't ...
Views: 1272(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: 3 Tips to Letting Go of Pain - by Submitted on Feb 16, 2016 from Tina TessinaIf your marriage ends in divorce, you lose more than the marriage itself. Even if your marriage had problems, or you were the one who wanted out, you still will have grief over the dreams and hopes which have died with the relationship. The overwhelming feeling of loss can be confusing and ...
Views: 1271(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I had never questioned him about other ladies - by Submitted on Oct 28, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm a couple of years into my relationship with many problems. I met my guy online and he moved the relationship along rather quickly. His eagerness even made me a bit nervous. After a couple of months being with him, I began to fall for him and fell in ...
Views: 1269 - Dear Dr. Romance: Age-Gap in Gay Relationship - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Thank you for such a wonderfully positive article on "generation-gap" relationships. I just finished reading "What's Behind the Trend of Women Dating Younger Men?". Although I am in a gay-relationship, I read the article with ...
Views: 1268(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I am a Native American woman who has been abused and betrayed - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2014 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a native American woman who has been abused and betrayed by my husband. He was my coresearcher and advisor for several years. We were married according to tribal custom, which he later denied happened and disowned me in the courts where he was ...
Views: 1268 - Dear Dr. Romance: I lost everything - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance:I read your article about "Age Differences in Dating" and thought you might be interested in a case history. I was married to a younger man for twenty years.He was 21 and I was 40 when we met.I had been in a very unhappy marriage for twenty years and had three ...
Views: 1267(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: My son gets angry, throws things - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am writing to you for your professional opinion regarding my 15 year old son. His behavior overall is good but when he gets angry he throws things swears a lot and just a few minutes ago destroyed my vacuum cleaner in one blow to the floor. I am a single parent about ...
Views: 1267 - Dr. Romance's Guidelines for Not Fighting - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2014 from Tina TessinaFighting a lot? Dr. Romance recommends: No matter what you’re fighting about: money, sex, kids or something else, the fighting is an indication that your communication isn’t working. If this happens only occasionally, such as when one or both of you are tired or stressed; it’s not too big ...
Views: 1263(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on: Mirrors and Teachers - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There are people in my life who are easy to be around, and others I love who are more difficult for me. It’s not that they’re bad people, others get along with them fine, and, actually, so do I. It’s just that I have to work a little bit more to ...
Views: 1261 - Dear Dr. Romance: I googled him, he has a criminal record - by Submitted on Nov 08, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: A year ago I broke up with a guy who then stalked me. I finally got rid of him, and then I found out he had a criminal record. I googled him, and found out he lives just a few miles away. and he is currently in jail for four separate DUIs, resisting ...
Views: 1260(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Is quitting the right thing to do? - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I need your advice. at my workplace when I was hired one of the colleague asked me what is your age I remember casually I said I am 38 ,I did not even had a hint of what was going on. after a month people were celebrating some bodies birthday and then I came to know that ...
Views: 1260(1 vote) - Handling Anxiety Effectively - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2014 from Tina TessinaWe are all in a time of high stress, and national disasters often bring up fear. If these fears are not dealt with, they can lead to “acting out” behavior, such as drinking too much or creating relationship, work or money problems as a distraction. To avoid ...
Views: 1260 - Kindness and Happiness - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2014 from Tina TessinaRecently, I went through very unpleasant and difficult dental work, and the outpouring of kindness I received—from my husband, who held onto my ankle all through the two and a half hours (and had nightmares that night about it) to my dear friends, who offered me support and encouragement to ...
Views: 1260 - Dear Dr Romance: I need a good self-help book - by Submitted on Jun 21, 2018 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I congratulate you for your many helpful articles on the internet. I would like to have your advice. I am male and in the last 25 years I had a therapy experience which lasted 3 1/2 years and left me with unresolved issues; shorter therapy experiences with different ...
Views: 1259(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: He had to hurt me to pull away so he could start this new relationship. - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I met a guy at the end of my marriage, I started to have a relationship with him. the marriage ended and my husband moved out. My new relationship grew stronger and he had hope for a future with me. I was not ready to let people know I was in a new relationship so ...
Views: 1258(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: How should I tell her I have feelings for her - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm in my first year of high school, but I have no experience in relationships. I'm in contact with a friend who is a year younger than me, and I recently realized I have feelings for her. She's funny and playful, and I just can't help myself. What's your advice on how I ...
Views: 1258 - Dr. Romance on The Pursuit of Happiness - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The founding fathers of our country saw the “pursuit of happiness” as an inalienable right – so important they embedded it in the DNA of the United States of America, by writing it into the Preamble to the Constitution. It was a profoundly new idea at the ...
Views: 1257(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on: The Power of Purpose - by Submitted on Jan 31, 2018 from Tina Tessina"Whatever your age, if you learn to listen, your inner voice will speak to you about your path," writes oncologist Dr. Bernie Siegel in Peace, Love and Healing, "your ‘job on earth.’ This wisdom that is directing you from within is your birthright... an inner message, an inner awareness, ...
Views: 1257 - Dr. Romance on The One Who Got Away - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2016 from Tina TessinaWhen Dr. Romance was a girl, growing up in the small township of Rockland, New York, there was a tiny post office, which was a small room with a separate entry in the house next door. Rockland’s official postmistress was Clara Weiss, who seemed very elderly even when I was a very small child. ...
Views: 1255(2 votes) - Dr. Romance: Tips for Divorced Dads - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2015 from Tina TessinaWhat can divorced dads do to help raise healthy, successful boys when they don't see their sons as often as they want? Here are some tips for non-custodial fathers who want to make certain they raise successful men. 1. Stay connected with your boy. Find a way to get over the differences ...
Views: 1255(2 votes) - Dr Romance’s 3 tips to know it's time to let go of your relationship - by Submitted on Mar 02, 2018 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: As a counselor, I’ve helped lots of couples solve difficult relationship problems, but it isn’t always possible. If your relationship feels detrimental to your mental, emotional or physical well-being, it's time for a change. If your lover has or develops severe problems ...
Views: 1254(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Can short guys date? - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance : I'm a 5'4" 34yr old male. I've searched online dating sites for a few years now and read thousands of women's profiles. In doing so, I recognized a peculiar trend in women's descriptions of their ideal mate. It's exhilarating to read ...
Views: 1253(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I think I am missing myself - by Submitted on Dec 08, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I think I am missing myself Dear Dr. Romance: I am a women in my early twenties from India. I have gone through your website and i think u can help me. For the first time in life I am so confused, so helpless, and I don't know what i want. Everything ...
Views: 1253 - Age Differences in Dating - by Submitted on May 29, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance gets a lot of letters about older women dating younger men, which appears to be shocking to some people, but I don’t find it so unusual. Why would a younger man want to date an older woman? Who isn’t attracted to success, smarts and experience? Young men can find this ...
Views: 1252(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: My brothers did not like my choice - by Submitted on Nov 29, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I am a PhD student in Computer Science and Mathematics in Europe. I am interested in your blog which helps to a lot of people to find the best solution in their lives. I have also some problems in my private life. I would be very grateful if you could give me ...
Views: 1251(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: He wants to call all the shots and refuses to compromise - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband left me this past April. We are in our early twenties and we have been together since we were teenagers. We grew together so well, until he left me. He is Hispanic and very dominating and controlling. He wants to call all the shots and refuses to compromise. I ...
Views: 1250(2 votes) - Friends in Need: Interventions for Domestic Violence - by Submitted on Dec 29, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance received the following letter: “A topic I would like you to cover/explore is that curious phenomena which permits otherwise independent women to be dominated...even abused...by males with whom they share some sort or relationship. Why is it that a seemingly ...
Views: 1248(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I am not sure if I am considered his "girlfriend." - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I like your article "Stupid Cupid" and find that all your down-to-earth questions should be applicable in a daily life of a relationship. I will forward it to my friends. I'm writing you about a guy that I met at my dance class. I ...
Views: 1247(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm Lonely and probably very naive - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2015 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I fell for a man that I work with. He was married, and I was in a lesbian relationship. When I first saw this man, who I will refer to as John, I thought he was the most handsome man I had ever met in my life. I had dated men off and on, but my two long-term relationships were ...
Views: 1244 - Dr. Romance's Fair Fight Guidelines - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2016 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Almost forty years of marriage counseling and thirty-four years of a second marriage have convinced me that fights are not necessary in a marriage. Married couples need to have discussions, they need to solve problems, and sometimes they need to ...
Views: 1242(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I seem to ruminate all day about myself - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I live in Scotland and I think we are quite backward when it comes to mental health issues. I have spoken to 2 therapists now about my obsessive thinking, both of whom seem strangely perplexed by what I perceive to be quite a common problem. I seem to ...
Views: 1241(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I was controlling and verbally abusive - by Submitted on May 18, 2016 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm a 32 yr old man who is lost when it comes to relationships. I just had a chance with a nice woman which I subconsciously messed up. I didn't accept her for who she was . I was controlling, verbally abusive, and not compassionate with her. The ...
Views: 1241 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am surrounded by negative people and thoughts - by Submitted on Oct 13, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am writing because I am surrounded by negative people and thoughts, including my family. I have no support structure. I hide from neighbors so people won't ask questions. During the day I am on the computer being as proactive as I can. My question is I ...
Views: 1240 - Guidelines for Being Better Understood - by Submitted on Mar 23, 2015 from Tina Tessina1. Seek first to understand. If you know your partner's frame of reference, you can speak to him/her within it. 2. Pay attention to how your words are landing. If your companion's response looks off the mark for what you said, check out what he/she is ...
Views: 1240 - Practicing Patience - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2015 from Tina TessinaHappy New Year! This is the traditional time for making resolutions, which we all know are simple to make, but much more difficult to keep. Resolutions imply change, and making changes requires patience. It’s such a valuable component of character that St. Paul considered it evidence that ...
Views: 1240 - Dear Dr. Romance: My husband does not understand my children - by Submitted on Oct 31, 2017 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am married with a man that is younger than me by 17 years. Right now we are in a bad situation. I have 2 teenage children from prior marriage. My husband wants to represent my children's father and he does not understand that the children are too old to be molded ...
Views: 1239 - Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: What Is A Dysfunctional Relationship? - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Unless you're completely out of touch with any media, written, audio or video, you have been bombarded with words like "dysfunctional relationship", "codependency" and "toxic family system". You may have noticed that there's a lot of information available about these ...
Views: 1239(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Getting Along With Each Other - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2015 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance reflects: One of the things I'm very grateful for in my life is the opportunities I have had to travel and see the world. When I see a world in turmoil: earthquakes, war, terrorism, famine, political upheaval, inflation, human rights violations: I think not of the ...
Views: 1239 - Dr. Romance on Creating Holiday Magic - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Recently, as we were eating in an Italian restaurant, the music being played transported me back to holidays with my Italian/American family. Traditional, sentimental Italian songs were such a large part of our gatherings for the holidays. After a huge, slow, multi-course ...
Views: 1238(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: The Family of the Heart - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2017 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: No matter what you observe: Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Solstice or Christmas, this is a celebratory time of year, and most of us are thinking of family, whether they’re near or far. My family is somehow both, since I lost all my aunts and uncles and my father before I was ...
Views: 1238(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: She is verbally abusive to me - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2020 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a retired police officer who found his wife sneaking around with another man 3 years ago. We have 3 kids. I cook and clean and up ...
Views: 1237(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Anger: Cleansing Squall or Hurricane? - by Submitted on Apr 06, 2011 from Tina TessinaAnger is the emotional energy within each of us that rises up when something needs to change. If you act on the need to create change, your anger can be channeled effectively; but it’s not redirected to something effective, your frustration will build, sometimes to hurricane force. Anger ...
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