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Articles from Tina Tessina | Selfgrowth.com
- Dear Dr Romance: I Need a Good Self-Help Book - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I congratulate you for your many helpful articles on the Internet. I would like to have your advice. I am male and in the last 25 years I had a therapy experience which lasted 3 1/2 years and left me with unresolved issues; shorter therapy experiences with different ...
Views: 1907(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I Had to Pay for Everything - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr Romance: I recently met a divorced Russian woman with her teenage old son while on vacation, we spent a lot of time together. I enjoyed their company very much. We keep seeing each other and I recently spent 4 days at her lavish home in the United States. I was really suprised to see ...
Views: 1816 - Dr. Romance Video: Resolving Mother & Sister Fights - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2012 from Tina Tessina(To see the accompanying video, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVCxndtpt0s) Often, the same quirks, reactions and behaviors that create problems between you and the female members of your famiy wouldn't be a problem if they was someone else's family. If your best friend's mom or ...
Views: 1814(3 votes) - Asking for What You Want - by Submitted on Mar 17, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn my counseling office, I see a lot of damage done because people don't know how to ask for what they want, or don't think it's OK. Not asking for what you want means you'll eventually resent somebody, and that leads to a lot of strife. So today, I thought I'd give some hints about how to ask ...
Views: 1827 - Dear Dr. Romance: Why Does He Want a Relationship? - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I met this guy through a phone call, but he contacted or got my profile through a friend of mine and he is satisfied through that, and he is convinced that he could have a relationship with me, he needs my affection, fear of God, caring, true feeling of sharing, happiness, ...
Views: 1955 - Apology and Forgiveness - by Submitted on Mar 10, 2012 from Tina TessinaIn my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they’re wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing—where one's early family may have picked a “culprit” when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the problem and healing ...
Views: 2013 - Dear Dr. Romance: How Can I Make My Family Understand I Love Him? - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Ok so I am 19 and am kinda falling for a guy who is 20 years old than me. I am not asking your opinion on if it's wrong and nor do I want to hear "that's disgusting" my mother and father were 23 years apart in age. I like older guys cause I can relate to them better than ...
Views: 1695(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: How to Deal with an Annoying Boyfriend - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2012 from Tina TessinaGuys, especially younger ones, are well known for having 'courting behavior' and then relaxing into their old, slobby selves once you're committed. It's not that men are from Mars, women from Venus - it's more like all of us have grown up on different planets. Couples can get caught up in ...
Views: 2747 - Anger: Cleansing Squall or Hurricane? - by Submitted on Mar 03, 2012 from Tina TessinaAnger is the emotional energy within each of us that rises up when something needs to change. If you act on the need to create change, your anger can be channeled effectively; but it’s not redirected to something effective, your frustration will build, sometimes to hurricane force. Anger ...
Views: 1806(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Do I Tell Him I Can't Be His Friend or Let Silence Speak for Itself? - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm in need of some serious advice, and I hope you can help. I've been in an extremely long distance relationship with someone for the past year and a half off and on. I live in the US, he lives in Central America. I am 6 years older than he is. I'm studying to be a nurse ...
Views: 1453(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: Is It Possible to Love Someone without Ever Dating Them? - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: Is it possible to love someone without ever dating them? If so, how can you tell that you are in love? Dear Reader: Yes, it's possible to fall in love without dating. For example, if you have a close friend, classmate, work associate, neighbor or friend of a friend ...
Views: 10714(2 votes) - Dr. Romance Video: Creating a Blended Family When You Have a New Wife - by Submitted on Feb 20, 2012 from Tina Tessina(View my YouTube video on this topic here: http://youtu.be/hB-SuKLvJlk.) Dr. Romance's 4 tips to smoother step-parenting: 1. Give your blended family a chance to bond. Don’t worry if everyone doesn’t settle in right away; bonding takes time. Hopefully, you all got to know each other ...
Views: 2684(1 vote) - Dr. Romance's Happiness Tip: Alone on Valentine's Day? - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2012 from Tina TessinaValentine's Day gets a lot of media attention, and it can be hard to avoid. When you don't have a special someone to spend it with, or worse yet, you've just lost a relationship, it can be brutal. If you're alone, it's important to take good care of yourself. Gather your best friends around you ...
Views: 1938(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Should I Date My Girlfriend's Best Friend? - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I need relationship advice!!!? I have been with my girlfriend for 4 months now and her best friend who's a girl is also my best friend and I'm very close with the best friend. Me and my girlfriend do fight a lot but there are times where I'm in love with her. And me and the ...
Views: 4758(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Am I Single? - by Submitted on Feb 09, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr.Romance: My friends were joking that I have never been single, and I argued that I have - but they said my definition of being single was wrong! true, I tend to have long term relationships, but before I met my last boyfriend I was "single" for nearly a year. I define this as not ...
Views: 1752 - Dr. Romance: Don't Call Your Ex! - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaWant to know how to handle being dumped? It's less about communication than you think! DO put it in perspective If you're dumped, it hurts. But count your lucky stars. You don't have a relationship if the other person's not really interested. DO understand that there were problems already ...
Views: 2203(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on How Not to be Shy at a Party - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2012 from Tina TessinaIntroverts can enjoy the parties, too, if they respect who they are and don’t let negative fantasies take over. Limit your social engagements to those that are manageable or meaningful to you, and allow plenty of time for being by yourself or with a single friend, if that's what makes you ...
Views: 1943(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: She Slapped My Face and Departed - by Submitted on Jan 21, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I recently moved here from the British Isles. I discovered your Dr. Romance blog and thought you might have some good insight on an experience I had involving an American woman's image of her body. I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ...
Views: 3114 - Dr. Romance: When Love is Kind: Mutuality in Relationships - by Submitted on Jan 16, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many people ask me, “How will I know if I'm in love?” Answer: Anyone who's in love usually knows it; the real question should be are we mutually in love, or am I wasting my time? If you want to be secure in your primary relationship, knowing how to create mutuality and ...
Views: 1877(1 vote) - Dr. Romance: Resolve to Make Your Love Life Sparkle! - by Submitted on Jan 03, 2012 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance wishes all of you a happy, healthy and loving 2012! We all are inspired to make resolutions in the new year, to celebrate new beginnings. Rather than resolving to exercise or diet, try: Dr. Romance's Top 5 Resolutions to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great Resolve ...
Views: 2028(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: He wants me to wait on him - by Submitted on Jan 02, 2012 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I heard you on the radio today and I think that this is my last hope. My dad told me to listen to you this afternoon, since I have been having problems with my marriage. I am in my late twenties and I have 3 children under four years old. My husband is two years older. We ...
Views: 6162 - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm sick of waiting and feeling I'm not good enough - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance, I am a young adult male who has always had some sort of complication in relationships. I need help on deciding what I should do from the point at where I'm at now. The situation is that I have been talking to this girl. She first started talking to me but I didn't really ...
Views: 2360(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: He is selfish and controlling - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I heard you on the radio and I thought of writing to you. This is about my daughter. She has been married for a couple of years. They are both professionals. Since you listen to many cases and have a vast experience on divorce cases, I would like to ask you based on the ...
Views: 932 - Dear Dr. Romance: Can you help me save my relationship? - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am having trouble in my relationship. My biggest problems are fibbing and patience. Fibbing is what my fiancee calls it, I call it extending the truth a little further than it really is. But, Patience is the thing I've really having trouble with and that I need your help ...
Views: 856 - Dear Dr. Romance: My husband's one-night-stand is pregnant - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read an article of yours on Divorce360 about affairs the end with a pregnancy. My husband had a one night stand three weeks ago. He told me about it. We've been going to counseling for several months and were doing great. We just found out she's pregnant. I love my ...
Views: 4398 - Dear Dr. Romance: I want my wife to be my lover - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I wanted to get someone else's take on what is going on in my marriage right now. My problem is that right now my wife and I do not have sex all that often, we average about once every month and half to two months. I have tried talking to my wife about this subject before ...
Views: 2174 - Dr. Romance on The Importance of Humor - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: We are such an inventive species. We are also a species with a sense of humor. I think the two are connected. It takes a sense of humor to be able to stumble around in an unfamiliar situation until you figure it out. Current research has indicated that humor, ...
Views: 947 - Dear Dr. Romance: I actually forwarded him the conversation by accident - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a woman in my thirties. It's been over a month since I last spoke with my ex-boyfriend of one year. He gave me the silent treatment because I hurt him. Or it might be his way of breaking up with me. I lied to my girlfriend about him and he found out. I actually ...
Views: 1351 - Dear Dr. Romance: Even after several years, I still feel stigmatized - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I enjoy reading your "Happiness Tips Newsletter" I actually want to ask you some questions. I know you are a psychotherapist, So i thought you might to explain the difference between the mental health unit of an hospital and a psych ward? Why would one feel ashamed to have ...
Views: 1205 - Dear Dr. Romance: I am not sure what the dating customs of this country are - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I read your monthly "Happiness Tips" newsletter and thank you your advice. However, I noticed that you try to help resolve or forestall relationship problems. My problem is still meeting a man that I like. When I go out and see a guy I am attracted to, I do look towards that ...
Views: 931 - Dear Dr. Romance: How should I tell her I have feelings for her - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm in my first year of high school, but I have no experience in relationships. I'm in contact with a friend who is a year younger than me, and I recently realized I have feelings for her. She's funny and playful, and I just can't help myself. What's your advice on how I ...
Views: 1260 - Dr. Romance: Peace Begins at Home - by Submitted on Aug 22, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: There is so much unrest in the world today: we are still in two wars, terrorism seems to be endemic worldwide, and domestic violence still dominates the news. We still need to heed the old bumper sticker: TEACH PEACE. The more current one on my car says “Peace is ...
Views: 1004 - Dear Dr. Romance: I just don't understand men - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'll admit, I just don't understand men. Do they want us to be perfect all the time? I mean, I think I'm a pretty okay person. I honestly like myself for who I am. It took me a long time to get to this point. I'm not a model, but reasonably attractive for a woman in her 40s. ...
Views: 1292 - Dr. Romance: Detox Your Life - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: Many of my clients come in with complaints about personal habits that feel toxic in their lives. Just as you can detox your body when you’re feeling sluggish, it’s also possible to detox your emotional life. Here are some of the most common ways your life can back up on ...
Views: 990 - Dr. Romance on: Getting To Yes - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The average person pays more attention to what she's saying or thinking about than what she is hearing, or how her words are "landing" on the other person. This self-involvement gets worse during an argument. You can become a much more effective communicator by using what I ...
Views: 1040(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: the thought of seeing him have sex with other women bothers me a lot - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a bipolar woman with emotional problems. These problems seem to manifest most lately with my boyfriend whom I tend to blame for everything. I feel super insecure when we are out and he notices other women. He taught me a lot about sexuality and commented constantly ...
Views: 1734(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: I want to break-up with him, but I don't know how - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I heard you on the radio and I have a relationship question for you. I have been dating my boyfriend for seven years, I care for him deeply. However, I am not happy. I want to break-up with him, but I don't know the best way to do it and not hurt him. I would still like to ...
Views: 1334 - Dear Dr. Romance: I feel almost embarrassed about being a virgin at my age - by Submitted on Jul 04, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I came across your blog while searching the internet for help for women In dysfunctional relationships. Your language and spiritual, yet non judgmental approach really resonated with me. I am an ethnically mixed woman in my thirties. My parents divorced when I was young and ...
Views: 1992(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: He wants to call all the shots and refuses to compromise - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: My husband left me this past April. We are in our early twenties and we have been together since we were teenagers. We grew together so well, until he left me. He is Hispanic and very dominating and controlling. He wants to call all the shots and refuses to compromise. I ...
Views: 1252(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: it was like our relationship didn't matter - by Submitted on Jun 13, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am hoping you can help. I made a query about maintaining a marriage over long distance and noted your book The Commuter Marriage My wife and I have been married for 12 years and have had our ups and downs. We are both commited to our relationship. We lived in different ...
Views: 1549(2 votes) - Dr. Romance on Jealousy, Faithfulness and Distance - by Submitted on Jun 07, 2011 from Tina TessinaSo many couples are now separated part-or full-time because of military deployment and/or work travel and schedules, I get a lot of questions about faithfulness. Your marriage vows may have said, "'til death do us part" but no one said anything about what happens when a military career or ...
Views: 1890(2 votes) - Dear Dr. Romance: Why this compulsion to cheat? - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I'm looking at myself and asking the question, "Why this compulsion to cheat?" What will it take to keep my eye from wandering around? I'm divorced, technically, but trying to make amends with the ex. I love my kids, and an absentee father just doesn't fit my taste. I'd ...
Views: 2692(5 votes) - Dr. Romance: Why am I assumed to be a cougar good for only one thing? - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I am a single woman in my late 40's. I've had several serious relationships, but unfortunately, although I lived with a couple of them, I've never been married. I have a minor physical disability, a stomach condition, but I am attractive, I look younger than I am, I'm well ...
Views: 2312(6 votes) - The Fine Art of "Squirrel Hunting" - by Submitted on May 24, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: The most frequent problem I hear from single clients is that of how and where to search for a partner. Other clients are searching for friends. Many of them have been searching for a long time, without success; others have been afraid to go out and search at all. Most of ...
Views: 1155(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I'm afraid the age difference means our relationship won't work - by Submitted on May 24, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance; I read your article about Older Women Dating Younger Men I am dating a man who is 22 yrs, younger than myself. He appeared older and I appeared younger to him. Now I'm afraid the age difference means our relationship won't work. Would you be able to help me with this ...
Views: 1372(1 vote) - Dear Dr. Romance: I went through hell on earth with him until he quit drinking. - by Submitted on May 20, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I had two divorces, and both men turned out to be gay. By this time my self esteem was shattered, I felt there was something wrong with me. To make a long story short, I basically started dating and slept with men, just because they showed they desired me, for me. (Wrong ...
Views: 1552 - Dr. Romance on how Couples Can Cooperate for Success - by Submitted on May 20, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: You have probably entered relationships madly in love, convinced that your feelings for each other were so strong your dream would carry you through the tough times, but wound up feeling more like you were living in a nightmare than a dream, struggling with conflicting wants ...
Views: 929 - Dear Dr. Romance: It makes me very very upset, angry, pissed-off, and sad. - by Submitted on May 03, 2011 from Tina TessinaDear Dr. Romance: I saw your article "Surviving Loss and Thriving Again" while searching for answers to my own issues. The 'loved one' I lost was myself. I loved life, loved adventure, travel, people, photography, mostly adventure! In 2 seconds my life was 'taken' away pretty much. This ...
Views: 1989(2 votes) - Dr. Romance: Four Steps to Success - by Submitted on May 03, 2011 from Tina TessinaIn my private counseling practice, writes Dr. Romance, clients often tell me, “I want to be happy!” We then set about making it a reality. As a psychotherapist, I know that Your habits, your relationships, your environment, and especially what you think about them determine more about how ...
Views: 1724(1 vote) - Dr. Romance on Your Job on Earth - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2011 from Tina TessinaDr. Romance writes: It's easy to get discouraged when we become aware of the suffering throughout the world: natural disasters; racial prejudice; addiction and self-destruction; political oppression in its many forms (starvation, war, torture, misinformation, imprisonment, denial of rights ...
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