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Articles from Carolyn Ellis | Selfgrowth.com
- ***Unplugging From Your Ex-Spouse - by Submitted on Jan 02, 2008 from Carolyn EllisHave you ever been emotionally triggered and hijacked by something your ex said or did? Have you ever been emotionally triggered and hijacked by something your ex didn't say or do? When you're "plugged in" to the actions of someone else, you typically have a strong emotional reaction. You know ...
Views: 10905(3 votes) - ***Divorce Transition Dos And Don'ts - by Submitted on May 29, 2008 from Carolyn EllisDivorce is an enormous life transition. The basic storyline goes something like this. One day you’re in a relationship and the goal is to live happily ever after. Then over time, your relationship hits the rocks. People get unhappy with each other and someone makes the decision to divorce. ...
Views: 10506 - ***5 Keys to Regroup in the Face of Failure - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2011 from Carolyn EllisFailure and rejection are tough pills to swallow. But sometimes they prove to be the best medicine in the long term. Let me explain. We live in a fast-moving, success-driven, “quick fix” oriented society. Encountering disappointment, under performance or outright failure it is something ...
Views: 8695(29 votes) - ***Men And Depression After Divorce - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2007 from Carolyn EllisA new study by Statistics Canada shows that men are more likely to suffer depression than women in the two years after a marriage or common-law relationship breaks up. The longitudinal data from the National Population Health Survey showed that men, aged 20-64, were six times more likely to ...
Views: 7400 - ***Divorce Politics - 6 Tips to Handle Mother's Day and Father's Day after Divorce - by Submitted on May 01, 2008 from Carolyn EllisDivorce and separation can mean that special family holidays, like Mother's Day or Father's Day, can end up being stressful and full of conflict. When you're separated or divorced, what kind of role does the ex-spouse play in helping the children show that for their other parent? Here are a ...
Views: 6306(1 vote) - ***Are You Parenting From Guilt? - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2008 from Carolyn EllisWhen a couple decides to separate and starts the process of splitting up the children's family home into two separated homes, there is inevitably a sense of guilt. Divorce is an adult problem created between two adults, but as parents watching our children adjust to going to "mom's house" and ...
Views: 5971(1 vote) - 3 Ways to Break Free of Resistance - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2010 from Carolyn EllisWe’ve all had those great moments of inspiration, where an amazing idea is sparked within us and we’re totally energized to make it happen. Your focus is clear and your creative juices are flowing. With your confidence and joy at an all-time high, you feel invincible. That was certainly the case ...
Views: 5283(2 votes) - ***Step-Parenting: 7 Ways To Undermine Your Blended Family - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2008 from Carolyn EllisBlended families are becoming a reality for more people every year. Did you know that one in three Americans is part of a blended family, either as a step-parent, step-child or step-sibling? What kind of blended family will you have? Here are 7 sure-fire ways to undermine your blended family ...
Views: 5019(1 vote) - ***Measuring Self-Worth After Divorce - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2007 from Carolyn EllisDivorce can really knock your self-esteem for a loop. When you’re in an intimate relationship with another human being, a huge sense of who you are and your self-worth is tied up in the relationship. When that committed relationship ends, the degree to which you’re reliant on someone ...
Views: 4975(1 vote) - Separation and Divorce Tips - Riding the Emotional Rollercoaster of Divorce - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2009 from Carolyn EllisDivorce and separation can be quite a ride. Up and down. Up and down. Will it ever stop? Even before the decision to separate or divorce is made, life can feel like it’s spinning out of control. One day you’re up, the next day you’re down. It can feel like you are losing your mind. Divorce ...
Views: 4961 - 5 Ways Spiritual Overload Syndrome Sabotages Your Productivity - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2010 from Carolyn EllisIt’s a busy, busy, busy world out there. So many people I know, friends and clients alike, are feeling truly overwhelmed these days. The internet and our various battalion of electronic gadgets most of us use nowadays can bring an entire world of data, information and ideas to your fingertips ...
Views: 4774(1 vote) - *** Law of Attraction: Activating Your Desire and Attention - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2007 from Carolyn EllisThe Law of Attraction states that “like attracts like” and that what you focus your attention on will expand. It is in operation whether we hold a positive or a negative thought. People working their way through the divorce process are often flooded with thoughts and feelings they ...
Views: 4732 - ***Relationship Break-Ups (Part 1): Flowing With Your Feelings - by Submitted on Jan 28, 2008 from Carolyn EllisLet's be honest. I believe separation, divorce, and relationship break-ups always have a gift to offer us, but the initial breakup period sucks. For most of us, when we're in relationship, it feels like we're on solid ground. It may feel comfortable and soft to walk on, or it may be rocky and ...
Views: 4682 - *** BIG COSTS OF TOLERATING THE SMALL STUFF: LESSONS FROM A LIGHT FIXTURE - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2011 from Carolyn EllisWarning. This is a true story and it ain’t a pretty one. It’s actually a bit embarrassing too because, as a teacher and trainer, I should “know” better not to get stuck unconscious behavior. By sharing this personal examples I hope to illuminate for you more clearly how tolerating those little ...
Views: 4649(5 votes) - Life Balance: Tips from a Yoga Class - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2010 from Carolyn EllisIt can be tricky to find that place of balance in life. Juggling work, family, community and personal needs isn’t easy, but I believe it is part of what makes life joyful and meaningful. I’ve certainly had my fair share of days when hours spent on the phone or behind the computer whizz by and I ...
Views: 4444(4 votes) - *** When Divorced Parents Act Like Kids - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2007 from Carolyn EllisDivorce can definitely bring out the worst in people. Often adults will revert to behavior worthy of the schoolyard bully. Witness the recent public outing of actor Alec Baldwin, who unleashed the fury of his anger and despair of his divorce at his 11-year old daughter. Baldwin has been ...
Views: 4264(1 vote) - ***Divorce: Stop Sabotaging Your Healing Process - by Submitted on Oct 21, 2008 from Carolyn EllisAre you familiar with the phrase “The shortest distance between two points is a straight line?” While this may be true in math or drawing, it is not true in the journey of healing your heart after divorce. When dealing with our emotions, progress is definitely not linear. It’s ...
Views: 3983 - The Backsliding Blues: Tips to Get You Back on Track - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2010 from Carolyn EllisProgress is never a straight line. Often it’s a matter of one step forward, two steps back. Just ask Oprah, icon of self-improvement, who publicly confessed how sabotaging beliefs contributed to weight issues that continue to plague her. Backsliding after we’ve started some new habits or set new ...
Views: 3977 - ***Divorce and Children - Different Rules, Different Homes after Divorce - by Submitted on May 01, 2008 from Carolyn EllisYou're divorced and you have kids. How do you handle different rules and discipline between mom's house and dad's house? Do you have any say about what goes on in the other parent's home anymore? Here's how one of my readers expressed her frustration: "My two children are with my ex every ...
Views: 3956(1 vote) - ***Divorce Drama - Rewriting Your Divorce Story - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2008 from Carolyn EllisDivorce generates drama. I remember riding those rollercoaster moments of my own divorce and wondering, “How is this movie going to end?” I personally love going to the movies. My favorites are the ones that have relationship plotlines that are rich, complex and surprising. ...
Views: 3948 - Overcoming Obstacles: 4 Tips to Clear The “How Hurdle” - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2010 from Carolyn EllisAs a coach, I’m privileged to be part of a process where my clients create a new and exciting vision for their lives and take action towards it. The excitement is palpable as they connect with what’s truly important to them. But often they’ll hit what I call, the “How Hurdle.” “How will I do ...
Views: 3850(7 votes) - *** Relationship Break-Up (Part 2): Living In the Void - by Submitted on Feb 07, 2008 from Carolyn EllisThe break-up of a love relationship can be emotionally devastating. As I shared, I recently joined the ranks of the heartbroken when an important relationship I was in ended abruptly and unexpectedly. Life in the void is an important opportunity to let go of an old paradigm and prepare yourself ...
Views: 3840(1 vote) - ***Self-Care: Stop Going For The Martyr Medal - by Submitted on Feb 20, 2008 from Carolyn EllisDivorce is one of the most emotionally demanding life transitions you'll ever encounter. One big pitfall is what I call "going for the martyr medal." You get so preoccupied and consumed with making sure everyone else is taken care of first, that your own needs fall by the wayside. Single parents ...
Views: 3726 - *** Control Your Mindset: You Are What You Think - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2007 from Carolyn EllisAfter you separate or divorce, the most important tool you have at your disposal is your mindset. What are you thinking? What are you telling yourself? Is your goal to "survive" your divorce? Do you feel like you're a failure or "damaged goods"? Your thoughts have a powerful impact on your ...
Views: 3673 - Divorcing Your Inner Critic - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2010 from Carolyn EllisHave you ever wondered if it’s possible to divorce your inner critic? You know that questioning, nagging little voice inside you that is never at a loss to point out your flaws, highlight your doubts and cross-examine you on your decisions? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s the part ...
Views: 3479(1 vote) - *** Don't Become a Divorce Martyr - by Submitted on Feb 07, 2008 from Carolyn EllisDivorce is one of the most emotionally demanding life transitions you'll ever encounter. One big pitfall is getting preoccupied and consumed with making sure everyone else is taken care of first. Some divorcees adopt a martyr role as they navigate the new waters of their life. "Yes, my life is ...
Views: 3463 - The Cancer of Clutter - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2007 from Carolyn EllisTake a look around your home or your office and notice what's there. Is your space clear and open, ready to support you in the challenges you set for yourself? Or are there things lying around that disturb your sense of peace and well-being, distracting you from your daily goals? Perhaps there's ...
Views: 3372 - Loving Yourself Through Your Divorce Journey - by Submitted on Mar 10, 2008 from Carolyn EllisWhen we’re going through a stressful time like a divorce, how do you move forward? These are the moments that define who you are and reveal the important inner workings of your own mind. Sure, it’s easy to feel good about yourself when things are going your way. More important to ...
Views: 3317(1 vote) - ***Procrastination: The Dream Stealer - by Submitted on Aug 21, 2007 from Carolyn EllisProcrastination is a dream stealer. It's insidious and has the potential to snuff out our vitality and diminish how we feel about ourselves. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, to procrastinate means "to put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness". ...
Views: 3290 - *** Law of Attraction: Allow and Receive Your Desires - by Submitted on Aug 11, 2007 from Carolyn EllisSeparation and divorce are two of the biggest roller coaster rides you’ll ever find emotionally. The Law of Attraction can give you some traction so you can regain your footing and see your way forward in your divorce journey. Our thoughts create feelings, which in turn create vibrations ...
Views: 3286(2 votes) - ***Dating After Divorce - Tips To Getting Back Out In The Dating World After Divorce - by Submitted on May 01, 2008 from Carolyn EllisDating after divorce can be intimidating. For some people, it may be a few decades since you've been out there in the dating scene. As a divorce coach and author, a big concern my clients have is what to do to ensure they have more success in their future relationships. Here are some important ...
Views: 3205 - The Art of Listening - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2007 from Carolyn EllisListening is such an under-rated and highly valuable skill. I got a great example the other night during dinner courtesy of my children. My 7 year old son was more interested in bothering his 13 year old sister than he was in eating. This typical domestic scene escalated very quickly and ...
Views: 3202 - ***Top Tips For Life After Divorce - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2008 from Carolyn EllisPeople going through divorce often focus on the endings it represents – the ending of a relationship, a dream, a way of life. To thrive after divorce requires you to look at divorce as a beginning – the beginning of a new life, of new possibilities for loving relationship, of a sense ...
Views: 3186 - Different Parenting Styles after Separation - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2009 from Carolyn EllisIt’s not uncommon for the difference in parenting styles between parents to become very apparent after separation. Children usually experience some transition time to get acclimated to the unique rhythms of each household. Realizing you have little control over what happens “over there” at ...
Views: 3141(2 votes) - Stressed out? 5 Self-Care Survival Strategies - by Submitted on Dec 03, 2010 from Carolyn EllisAre you feeling stressed out? Isn’t this time of year when families and friends come together to celebrate special holidays and connect supposed to be a time of joy and peace? Then why are so many people out there feeling stressed out, short-tempered and run down? A key ingredient for success ...
Views: 3135 - ***Divorce Management: 5 Ways to Stop Your Energy Drains - by Submitted on Jun 12, 2008 from Carolyn EllisIs divorce draining your vital energy? Are you facing your own personal energy crisis? It’s a common challenge. Going through divorce is like playing a whole new ball game in life. If you’re feeling drained, overwhelmed or worn out, please realize that some of those old moves, habits ...
Views: 3115 - *** Viewing Divorced Life As An Adventure - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2007 from Carolyn EllisLiving life as a separated or divorced person is like wandering into uncharted territory. Like a traveler in a foreign country, so much of what you will experience is new or unfamiliar. There's the legal process, your changing social network, the emotional roller coaster rides, creating new ...
Views: 2967 - *** Dealing With Divorce Lawyers - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2007 from Carolyn EllisPicking the right divorce attorney is a critical decision. Divorce lawyers are your guides through the legal system. They are your teachers about your legal rights and obligations. At a time when you’re not in your peak decision-making form, you have many important questions to answer when ...
Views: 2939 - ***The Power Of Appreciation - by Submitted on Jan 07, 2008 from Carolyn EllisIs there anything more mysterious in the world than the formula to having a successful romantic relationship? As a divorced woman, I now marvel at those who are able to create passionate, loving, long-term relationships. From my studies with books and the school of hard knocks, I believe that ...
Views: 2919 - Manifesting Your Desires: 4 Keys - by Submitted on Aug 08, 2010 from Carolyn EllisManifesting is the latest “Big Thing” and buzzword. People seek out seminars, workshops and gurus to help learn the secrets of manifestation so we can fulfill our heart’s desire. My manifestation guru looks a little different than most. She has a shaggy beard, 3 inch eyelashes, four legs and ...
Views: 2893(1 vote) - Productivity and Energy: 4 Strategies to Managing Your Energy Cycles - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2010 from Carolyn EllisAre you struggling to become more productive and get ahead of your “to do” list? Do you feel overwhelmed at how meet all of the demands life makes of you? Most people focus on external solutions like time management skills or organizational systems to help them become more productive. An ...
Views: 2869 - ***Speak From the Heart - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2007 from Carolyn EllisI recently had the pleasure of participating in a workshop in Los Angeles with 150 others who, like myself, want to hone their skills as a trainer. One of our instructors was Les Brown (visit www.lesbrown.com to learn more about him). I had heard this inspirational man speak before, but never ...
Views: 2847 - 5 Steps to Transform Overwhelm Into Productivity - by Submitted on Dec 02, 2010 from Carolyn EllisSome of the greatest challenges our society faces today is overwhelm and distraction. It seems like most of us suffer from an inability to maintain our attention and focus on getting our dreams and goals across the finish line. In Part 1 “5 Ways Spiritual Overload Syndrome Sabotages Your ...
Views: 2814(3 votes) - *** Peaceful Blended-Family Events Can Happen! - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2007 from Carolyn EllisBlended families are becoming more and more the norm. One in three Americans is a member of a blended family. I’m sure Canada’s statistics are very similar. Looking at my own family of four, 75% of my family is blended because my children have step-siblings. Bringing divorced parents ...
Views: 2757 - ***Holiday Survival Tips For Divorced Families - by Submitted on Dec 11, 2007 from Carolyn EllisFamily holidays are supposed to be relaxing and stress-free, but often they aren't. Holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas can take you back in time to when you were a family with both parents living together under one roof. Holidays that have a strong cultural tradition of "family" can ...
Views: 2660(1 vote) - *** Law of Attraction: What is it and Why Should We Care? - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2007 from Carolyn EllisWhat is the Law of Attraction? The Law of Attraction states that “like attracts like.” What you focus your attention on expands. Your thoughts are energy, and create a vibration which can be either positive or negative. Let’s look at an example. Think of a day when you woke ...
Views: 2655 - ***Resolutions For Life After Divorce - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2008 from Carolyn EllisOften people going through divorce focus on the endings it represents - the ending of a relationship, a dream, a way of life. To thrive after divorce requires you to look at divorce as a beginning - the beginning of a new life, of new possibilities for loving relationship, of a sense of ...
Views: 2632 - 3 Keys to Staying Afloat In Turbulent Times - by Submitted on Aug 31, 2010 from Carolyn EllisLife is not always going to be a “smooth sailing” kind of experience. Right now there is a lot of turmoil going on in the world – economically, politically, environmentally, even socially. In the world of your own life, how are you faring? Are you getting rocked by the waves and wondering to ...
Views: 2598 - ***Divorce and Children - Breaking the News that Mom and Dad are Getting a Divorce - by Submitted on May 01, 2008 from Carolyn EllisDivorce has a lot of difficult moments, but one of the toughest has got to be when you utter the words: "Kids, mommy and daddy are getting a divorce." No parent likes to see their children suffer or be in pain. Yet learning that family life as they have known it is about to radically change is ...
Views: 2547 - ***Separation and Divorce Tips - How’s the Ex? - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2009 from Carolyn EllisDivorce etiquette is often badly needed after separation after separation and divorce. How many times have your family or friends “How’s the Ex”? You know all too well that divorce requires an adjustment in how you see yourself outside your marriage. When you’re used to saying “we” or “ours”, ...
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