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Articles from Janet Pfeiffer | Selfgrowth.com
- (Really Smart) Advice About Anger - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2013 from Janet PfeifferOne of my clients complained that her boyfriend had an annoying habit of constantly chewing gum. It drove her crazy! "Aside from that, he's perfect." she exclaimed. "But how do I get him to stop? He knows it bugs me yet he continues to do it. He says he's not doing anything wrong and then ...
Views: 2320(1 vote) - 10 QUICK TIPS TO RESOLVE FAMILY FEUDS - by Submitted on Sep 13, 2017 from Janet PfeifferFamilies can be our greatest source of joy as well as a never ending cause of stress. Comprised of a diverse blend of personalities, families are a mixture of quirky behaviors, opposing viewpoints, various needs, beliefs, and values, along with opposing methods of how members perform certain ...
Views: 2116(1 vote) - Assertive Anger: Tough With a Twist - by Submitted on May 08, 2013 from Janet PfeifferSixteen years ago, I moved to a quiet dead-end street. Imagine my dismay when I discovered that I lived near a teenage heavy metal band! As day turned to evening, my silent haven was interrupted by the sound of innocent drums and guitars being tortured! . I was angry. I phoned the police ...
Views: 2197(1 vote) - Creating a Peace Plan - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2013 from Janet PfeifferWhile it's important to understand, express, manage, diffuse, and heal your anger, imagine how much easier it would be to prevent outside forces from irritating you from the get go? You can learn to be emotionally unaffected by the drama and chaos around you. Rest assured, I'm not suggesting ...
Views: 1648(1 vote) - Domestic Abuse: What Everyone Needs to Know - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2013 from Janet PfeifferDomestic abuse is one of the most serious epidemics modern society faces today. With 1/3 of all women reporting incidences of violence in the home and/or in intimate relationships (this does not reflect the numbers that go unreported nor those of men being abused), no socio-economic group, ...
Views: 1754(1 vote) - Fatal Mistakes in Conflict Resolution - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2014 from Janet PfeifferFew people I know like to the process of resolving disagreements. In fact, when they hear "conflict" they automatically equate it with fighting. Yet one is not comparable to the other. Conflict is simply two forces in opposition. Fighting is defined with such words as "violent, battle, combat, ...
Views: 2094(1 vote) - Finding Joy in Your Darkest Moments - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWhen I was fourteen, my godparents gave birth to a baby boy after twenty years of marriage. The most joyful day of their lives was shattered by the devastating news that their son had Down's Syndrome. Fifty years ago Downs was a death sentence and Robert was no exception. Three weeks later they ...
Views: 1476(1 vote) - KISSAway Anger - by Submitted on Feb 27, 2013 from Janet PfeifferMy guest on my radio show today, Dr. Erica Kosal, has been dealing with the devastating illness of her husband, Jim, for the past five years. Understandably, she has experienced a wide range of emotions including stress and anger. But this college professor and mother of two refused to allow ...
Views: 1649(1 vote) - Lose Your Temper For Good! - by Submitted on May 11, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI've had many clients over the years request my help in teaching them how to control their tempers. "I lose my temper and afterwards feel terrible. I don't want to do this anymore. I need to learn how to control my temper." My response to them is this, "If you lose your keys you seek to find ...
Views: 1372(1 vote) - No Reason - by Submitted on Dec 22, 2011 from Janet PfeifferNo Reason Ten years ago, my Uncle John passed away. Although in his eighty’s, it was hard on his son, Johnny. Three months later, Johnny’s only child, his beautiful fourteen year old daughter, was in a car that plunged into an icy Ohio River where she tragically drowned. Her mother, Johnny’s ...
Views: 1685(1 vote) - One Key Eliminates Fighting Forever - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2013 from Janet PfeifferConflict and fighting are not synonymous. Although they very often go hand-in-hand, disagreements need not end up as arguments, fights, or physical altercations. A conflict is simply two forces in opposition: a husband and wife disagree on where to spend their vacation; you support the ...
Views: 2135(2 votes) - Only Funny in the Sunday's - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2012 from Janet PfeifferI love reading the Sunday funnies. One of my favorites is For Better or Worse by Lynn Johnston. In a recent comic, the young child, Mike, was having a bad day. Trying to construct a building out of Lego-type pieces, gravity was working against him as the entire structure collapsed. In a fit of ...
Views: 1886(1 vote) - Say What You Mean Without Being Mean - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2013 from Janet Pfeiffer(Excerpt from BUILT TOUGH? ) I often meet people who refer to themselves as tough. My perception, at times, is quite the opposite: I see them as mean-spirited. What exactly does it mean to be tough? Ford Motor Company manufactures several size trucks. Their tag line is "Ford trucks, built ...
Views: 1623(1 vote) - Six Surefire Ways to Offend Someone - by Submitted on Nov 28, 2012 from Janet PfeifferA recent email announcement sent to my entire database promoting my latest book, The Great Truth: Shattering Life's Most Insidious Lies That Sabotage Your Happiness Along With the Revelation of Life's Sole Purpose, prompted two angry responses. In both cases, the recipients took offense to my ...
Views: 1612(1 vote) - The Spiritual Solution to Anger - by Submitted on Dec 03, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI've spoken many times about the importance of all feelings, anger included. With every emotion we experience, we have the ability to learn much about ourselves. No feeling is inherently wrong. It's how we choose to express and use them that determines their value. In The Secret Side of ...
Views: 1865(2 votes) - THIS HIDDEN SECRET WILL TRANSFORM YOUR RELATIONSHIP - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2016 from Janet PfeifferWith the exception of impersonators, most people believe that they only have one voice. That voice is used to express one's feelings and needs. It can be vocalized either loudly or softly; it's tone can change from one of sarcasm to that of compassion; one's voice can be used to express ...
Views: 1105(1 vote) - What To Do About Annoying People? - by Submitted on Jul 06, 2016 from Janet PfeifferI'd venture to say that everyone of us has had to deal with annoying people at some point in our lives. Whether it's a family member who is in everyone's business, a coworker who continually needs your assistance, the know-it-alls who always have to be right or a friend who talks incessantly, ...
Views: 1212(1 vote) - How to Approach and Assist an Angry Person - by Submitted on Oct 30, 2013 from Janet PfeifferWe all encounter angry people in every walk of life. Some will confront them, others avoid them like the plague. There are times when either approach is acceptable. I do not like drama. However, I am concerned about others when they appear upset. And I am very knowledgeable as to how to help ...
Views: 2565(3 votes) - Road Rage: Drive to Stay Alive - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2013 from Janet PfeifferRoad rage is one of the leading causes of accidents and deaths in this country. According to a report by CNN, an estimated 28,000 people each year are killed due to aggressive drivers. It's easy to see how cities such as Miami, NY, Boston, LA, and Washington DC (the cities with the most ...
Views: 1586(3 votes) - Ten Tips for Dealing With Difficult People - by Submitted on Oct 02, 2013 from Janet PfeifferDifficult people - ya gotta love em! Or not. Whether you do or don't, it's a fact of life that they are all around us - in our families, places of employment, communities, social events, and everywhere else. For whatever reasons, we all have personal issues that cause us to behave in ways others ...
Views: 1635(3 votes) - Why Your Body Needs You to Forgive - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI'm blessed to have parents who, early-on in life, instilled in me the importance of forgiveness. "They didn't mean what they said." "Your friend is probably just having a bad day." My mom was, and still is, one who always saw the best in people and chose compassion over anger. So it has always ...
Views: 1472(1 vote) - ASSUME, ACCUSE, ASK - by Submitted on Nov 08, 2017 from Janet PfeifferAt some point in almost every person's life, we have made false assumptions about another or blamed an innocent party for something they were not responsible for. Needless to say, both of these behaviors can lead to hurt feelings, people being offended and outraged or an angry defensive response ...
Views: 1945(1 vote) - I'm Just Too Nice: The Truth About Passive Behavior - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2013 from Janet PfeifferPeople often tell me, "My problem is that I'm just too nice! That's why I get hurt a lot." But what they perceive as a case of terminal politeness, I see as an issue of passive behavior. Don't misunderstand: most of these people truly are nice. But those who are yes people, who don' t disagree ...
Views: 3078(3 votes) - Let Go (of) My Ego - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2009 from Janet PfeifferI have a family member who has issues with me (Go figure!). We got along well our entire lives but many years ago, “C’s” attitude towards me changed dramatically and with no explanation. All communication between us ceased (“C’s” choice, not mine) and family get-togethers became extremely ...
Views: 1452(3 votes) - Ten Tips For Arguing Wtih An Idiot - by Submitted on Nov 23, 2016 from Janet Pfeiffer"Idiots" are simply people like you and I who are struggling with unresolved personal issues ranging from low self-esteem to ego, insecurity to poor impulse control and more. While it is acceptable to regard the behavior as idiotic, it is never permissible to label the individual as such. People ...
Views: 1502(1 vote) - Ten Ways to Get Along With Family Members You Don't Like - by Submitted on Jan 09, 2013 from Janet PfeifferWe all have them: the obnoxious siblings, the drama queen mother, the trouble-maker cousin, the gossip monger, know-it-alls, rude, selfish, and even mean-spirited family members. We try to avoid them yet fate often intervenes and brings us face-to-face with our nemesis. We dread family ...
Views: 11715(1 vote) - The Death Of Innocence - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2012 from Janet PfeifferThe recent tragedy in Newtown, CT, is one of unspeakable horror. The latest in what appears to be an alarming trend of mass murders in American communities is, in my mind, the most gruesome - due not only to the sheer numbers of lives lost but more significantly because of the tender ages of the ...
Views: 1602(1 vote) - THE NAIL IN THE FENCE - by Submitted on Oct 23, 2013 from Janet Pfeiffer"The sharpest sword is a word spoken in wrath." (The Buddha). A little boy, prone to anger, was told by his father, "Every time you're angry, drive a nail in that wooden fence. When you've learned to control your anger, start removing them." Six months later, the boy had removed every nail ...
Views: 1822(2 votes) - To Fight or Not to Fight? That is the Question - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2014 from Janet PfeifferDo you enjoy a good fight? I don't but I know some people who do. Regardless of who we are interacting with, differences of opinion, issues , and conflict will arise periodically. Some approach arguments with zest, others with great trepidation, and some avoid them at all costs. There are times ...
Views: 1383(1 vote) - Weak, Meek or Strong: a Biblical Perspective on Anger - by Submitted on May 28, 2014 from Janet PfeifferThe first verse of the Beatitudes in the Bible says, "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth." Like many others, I always had difficulty with the term meek. To me, it was synonymous with being weak. And yet nothing could be farther from the truth. The word meek comes from the ...
Views: 1878(1 vote) - I Didn't Order That! - by Submitted on Jun 25, 2010 from Janet PfeifferI admire women who return to school in midlife. Mothers, wives and business women who volunteer and care for their elderly parents, their days are already filled to capacity, their lives overflowing with responsibilities. Yet they seek out the best colleges with the most stringent requirements ...
Views: 2396(2 votes) - Three Key Strategies For Reducing Anger - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI see clients ever week who ask me to teach them how to control their tempers. "I'm not the person to help you with that. Controlling anger can be hazardous to your health and to the safety of those around you." Most often, they stare at me in disbelief. "Controlling anger takes an enormous ...
Views: 1354(2 votes) - One Secret That Will Redefine Your Marriage - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI've been assisting couples and former couples professionally for nearly thirty years. Regardless of who comes into my office, there seems to be one common thread - people are seeking to learn how to better get along with one another. Their usual approach is to inform me of everything that's ...
Views: 1195(1 vote) - Sticks and Stones: Disarming Hurtful Words - by Submitted on May 29, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI used to pride myself on being sensitive. The problem was I was easily hurt by the things other people said to me. I lived in a chronic state of pain which lead to a lifetime of unhappiness and low self-esteem. But the alternative (being cold and aloof) was less appealing so I resigned myself ...
Views: 1508(1 vote) - Ten Tips on How to Argue With an Idiot - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2013 from Janet Pfeiffer"Idiots" are simply people like you and I who are struggling with unresolved personal issues ranging from low self-esteem to ego, insecurity to poor impulse control and more. While it is acceptable to regard the behavior as idiotic, it is never permissible to label the individual as such. People ...
Views: 1546(2 votes) - The High Price Tag of Anger: What is it Really Costing You? - by Submitted on Feb 19, 2014 from Janet PfeifferThere's no doubt: anger takes its toll on every facet of our lives. From on the job, to our personal relationships, to our health and overall enjoyment of life, destructive anger can wreak havoc in our daily lives. On the job it cost businesses over $4.2 billion, yes -billion, a year. ...
Views: 2150(1 vote) - Four Keys to Overcoming Anger - by Submitted on May 22, 2013 from Janet PfeifferI facilitated an anger management support group for several years. One woman began attending shortly after our first meeting. Her name was Joan. Joan's marriage of thirty plus years was in trouble. Admitting she had a bad temper, her husband recently filed for divorce. She was devastated. "I ...
Views: 1829(3 votes) - "NEVER EVER ASK THIS QUESTION" - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2009 from Janet PfeifferNever, ever ask this question! It is the quickest way to offend someone and turn an ordinary conversation into an argument. We've all encountered someone who is upset, distressed, angry, sad or not in a positive frame of mind. In an effort to find out what's wrong, we sometimes blurt out a ...
Views: 1047(2 votes) - "WHY ME?" and TOMATOES - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2009 from Janet Pfeiffer"I did everything I was supposed to: I worked hard, raised my family, helped others. Now I'm retiring and want to enjoy life and I'm diagnosed with cancer. It's not fair!" A tearful "Susan" sat in my office last year, steeped in anger over the injustice of her diagnosis and fluctuating ...
Views: 991(3 votes) - Children of Divorce: The Angry Aftermath - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2013 from Janet PfeifferDivorce is difficult for everyone. Even though children are resilient in many areas of life, divorce takes its toll on the youngest family members as well. While superficially they may appear to be fine, their internal struggles and turmoil are often hidden beneath an exterior of normalcy. ...
Views: 1607(1 vote) - Ping-Pong: It's All in My Head - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2009 from Janet PfeifferGoodwill and Profit were playing ping-pong in my head. My new book, The Secret Side of Anger, was just released in paperback. The original version, in audio, has been on the market since 2008. Friday's mailbox contained an order for the 4 CD set, retailing for $39.99. What the buyer didn't ...
Views: 1207(2 votes) - SWEET (?) REVENGESubmitted on Sep 01, 2009 from Janet PfeifferIf your brother said something hurtful to you, how would you respond? If your best friend betrayed you, what would you do? If your neighbor damaged your property and failed to make restitution, how would you handle it? Some seek revenge. They subscribe to the adage, "Don't get mad. Get ...
Views: 1567(3 votes) - The Only Race that Matters - by Submitted on Sep 01, 2009 from Janet PfeifferAs a child, I grew up aware of two distinct races: black and white. I don’t know who made this determination but that is what society taught us and we accepted it. I must have somehow lost touch with the world for a period of about two decades. When I finally reconnected I discover multiple ...
Views: 863(2 votes) - You Can't Ruin My Day - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2016 from Janet PfeifferHave you ever gotten out of bed in the morning declaring that today was going to be a great day? And before your first cup of coffee, something happened that completely ruined everything? Perhaps your child woke up sick or the car wouldn't start or your boss calls you to let you know that ...
Views: 1277(1 vote) - From Once Upon a Time to Happily Ever After, Relationship Series, Part 1 - by Submitted on Feb 05, 2014 from Janet Pfeiffer(First of 2 part series) Like the old song "Love and Marriage" says, the two simply go together. Yet with the divorce rate over 50%, the notion of happily ever after seems to be reserved for Disney movies. Some couples believe that as long as they love each other they will somehow find a way ...
Views: 1377(1 vote) - Why Do Couples Fight and How Not To - by Submitted on Feb 11, 2015 from Janet PfeifferI enjoy reading advice columns. Yesterday, a disgruntled woman complained that Hallmark created the upcoming holiday of Valentine's Day to remind singles that they are losers. (I'm pretty sure Hallmark wasn't in existence during the Middle Ages when this day was first set aside to celebrate ...
Views: 1196(1 vote) - A W-I-S-E APPROACH TO RESOLVING CONFLICTS - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2017 from Janet PfeifferIn college, one of my philosophy professors would frequently have the class debate a hot topic. He'd randomly divide the class in half and have each side present their best argument in support of their assigned position. Regardless of how you felt personally, you were expected to gather as many ...
Views: 2228 - How to Stop People From Annoying You - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2014 from Janet PfeifferThey're like mosquitoes on a hot summer night - those irritating and annoying people. They can be found anywhere from our families or coworkers to drivers on the roadways to complete strangers we encounter while on vacation. Their quirky behaviors and annoying habits can ruin our day. Other ...
Views: 1661 - How to Stop People From Hurting You - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2014 from Janet PfeifferIf I posed the question, "Who in your life has hurt you?", you might respond with, "Must I limit it to only one?" We've all been on the receiving end of someone's thoughtless behavior - their anger, sarcasm, back stabbing or betrayals. We've been hurt by those we know and love and even some that ...
Views: 1790 - How Your Anger Benefits Me - by Submitted on Jul 08, 2015 from Janet PfeifferYour anger can actually benefit me. That sounds a bit ludicrous, wouldn't you agree? Anger hurts the one experiencing it but how can it possibly work to my advantage? If you become angry with me, I might feel upset, disrespected, scared, or angry in return. On a deeper level those emotions can ...
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