Tips and Tools on Transition. Tip # 1 – Making Peace with your Past

August 16, 2009 by divorcesolutionsforyou | Edit

Many people often ask me how I got to where I am today (as a transition coach) being that I have had many twists and turns to my own life over the past decade. I by no means feel like “Rocky” but I have to tell you that I have made it my mission to study personal development during times of transition. And, in a sense, I was my own “guinea pig.” (Not a pleasant thought but true). Anyway, one of the most important lessons I have learned was the importance of making peace with your past. Too much time is spent beating ourselves up over what we did or didn’t do in our past – so much so that is hinders our present and future. Who you were yesterday by no means has to define who you are today. One of my favorite questions I like to ask my clients is “who do you want to be?” And, once they can get past the skeletons of yesterday I can practically see the steam coming out of their ears while they begin to see themselves as more than just their own history! How exciting to imagine who you want to be no matter where you are in your life!

Think about the person you want to become and start taking the steps on how to get there. I promise, the person you are tomorrow will thank you for it.

Stay tuned: 6 Week Soul Goal Workshops starting in September!

Keep the faith,

Patti

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. “

Henry David Thoreau

Author's Bio: 

I am a forty something single mom of two awesome kids. In the past six years, I have: separated and divorced, finished a graduate degree with honor’s, started a part-time career as a writing instructor at a local college, opened up my own business as a transition coach, and as of November 2008, became newly engaged! In addition, as of June 13th, I will have finished my basic training to become part of the

Jersey Shore Collaborative Law Group. As you can see, it has been quite an eventful few years! However, I have never felt more fulfilled in my life.

How did I do it?

I can honestly tell you that I have utilized many of the same principles I learned in graduate school (I have an Master’s of Arts in Teaching) and applied them to my life. I thought, “What are my goals? Where do I want to be in one year – two years – five years? How am I going to get there?” (Think of this as being your own tutor!)

Like a teacher does with her class, I wrote out my lesson plans on how to achieve those goals. Hour-by-hour, day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month, slowly but surely, I kept my eye on those goals and made sure that I kept forging ahead, even on the days I barely could get out of bed. (On those days, I gave myself a gold star for even making myself a pot of coffee or going to the dry cleaners!)

This is a true testimony on how you can use a crisis to create a new path for your future. That is what I did. I took all the pain and suffering I had during my divorce, turned it around into a positive learning experience.

What is the magic formula that makes my business thrive?

I knew that knowledge was power and the better educated I was as to what I could expect from the divorce process, the better. I wanted to be one step ahead of the game when meeting with the professionals and my goal was to be the ideal client. I wanted to get the most for my money when meeting with my lawyers and other professionals for many reasons – I wanted to save money, not waste my time talking about emotional issues during our meetings and I wanted to get it over with as smoothly (and quickly) and possible.

In the meantime, I read and studied books on goal-setting and laws of attraction as well as countless books on divorce (refer to recommended book list) and interviewed many legal professionals.

While I was studying and researching the various aspects of divorce and how to do it right, so to speak, I would reward myself with reading books on how to achieve your dreams! As a result, Patricia Phelan Clapp M.A. LLC, the Transition Coach, was created!

You can do two things at once during times of crisis – you can work on YOU and go through the divorce process as skilled and knowledgeable as possible!

All you need to do is commit to wanting to move forward in a positive direction.

What will we do out your coaching sessions?

* We will find the necessary resources for you and clarify the various roles of the lawyer and other professionals as part of the legal process. In doing this, we will make it easier for those professionals to help you by implementing their legal, financial and psychological areas of expertise.

* We will focus on creating a positive client-based relationship that will give you the ability to compartmentalize the divorce process separate from your emotions.

* I will help you achieve your goals and find a balance between divorce and moving on with your life.

* A step-by-step plan will be devised on how to manage the legal and financial aspects of your divorce.

* In addition, personal goals will be set and a plan will be developed on how to achieve these goals.

* By creating a road map for you to follow during your divorce, we can concentrate on empowering you with the peace, self-respect and hope that may have been lost along the way.

Piff – Tomaro Professional Building

1704 Maxwell Drive

Suite 302

Wall, New Jersey 07719

(732) 865-5377

patti@divorcesolutionsforyou.com

“Helping you find the resources you need to stay focused and balanced during times of transition.”