The Feminine Deficit

I am wondering if nature has something to teach us about what it means to be female. One of the most fascinating aspects of the natural world is the manner in which males earn the right to mate with females. Whether it’s a battle of strength or intelligence, only the best male wins the opportunity to embrace her. Nature instinctively works through her selective process to ensure a stronger next generation.
If all of nature holds a deep reverence for the female’s ability to choose, then it appears human beings have it a bit backwards when it comes to their mating rituals. For the most part, the male is dominant and society is built around his power. The female is considered a servant to man. She competes with her body and transforms herself to obtain his financial support. It is important to note that in some countries she is stripped of her freedom to choose and is just told who will be her husband.
In my opinion, the entire dilemma is based on a deficiency of feminine energy. The woman becomes more masculine in an attempt to navigate the man’s world and the man becomes more detached emotionally swallowing his emotions while seeking status and power. When the feminine nutrient is missing from the diet of men and women, anger is the symptom we continually need to suppress.
The Buddha left his wife and newborn son to discover suffering and find himself. Today man’s inability to find himself while being a father has now overrun the planet. With the non-stop coming of age of beautiful women desperate for safety and security, why should a man worry about being emotionally available? It is difficult for men to mature and become emotionally present because they’ve all had fathers or step fathers who were emotionally unavailable. With an overwhelming number of men on the planet never having received validation from their fathers, it leaves them looking for it everywhere outside of themselves. As a result of their father’s shortcoming, they do everything for the woman and slowly grow into resentment for giving her everything and receiving nothing in return. So each son whose father was never proud of him, has a son he’s unable to be proud of and the cycle repeats itself.
In the human experience the father is responsible for validation and support but who can offer that to their children today? Who can say I am proud of you unless the child has managed to jump through a flaming hoop or scored exceptional grades at school. The parents opened a doorway merging together and the child entered into existence. How is a child supposed to top that? The woman’s role is to provide love and compassion. The search for self-worth within a male dominant society makes it nearly impossible for her to give her children all they need.
Maybe the Buddha’s greatest misery was of walking out on his wife and new born son. It must have been a powerful moment when Buddha understood that the love of self comes from learning you are no one. If he had stayed and participated in the process of raising his son, he would have no doubt found just as much misery moving through it as a father, becoming a nobody. Every mother already knows it’s the only way to raise loving children. You have to be a nobody without resentment. It’s as though enlightenment was built right into the system but a woman cannot do it alone. She needs a man to validate her children and support them through the learning curves. She needs him to be strong and protect the family with honor while maintaining respect for her. If a father can do that, the son will learn respect for his mother through him. Perhaps Buddha would have had an even greater impact on mankind had he stayed with his family and found enlightenment.
Very rarely in nature do you see an attentive male. It’s never happens that a buck runs out of the thicket to ask the doe if she needs a break from protecting the fawn. Nature has a season to create life and for the most part the male is just a brief moment in the process. The female then takes the burden of keeping the young safe and fed. At times she even protects them from being eaten by their own fathers. It is because humans have the ability for conscious awareness that sets them far apart from the animal kingdom. The human male and female must remain a team while raising children. Their offspring won’t be running around a field avoiding predators, they’ll be making decisions that will affect the entire planet. Surely we have a little more responsibility than the white tail deer.
Yes it’s true, children grow if you just provide them food and water but what about the next generation? Isn’t it also the parents’ responsibility to contribute to a better race of mankind, more mature and loving? Imagine every boy growing up knowing his father was proud of him. Imagine how strong a man would be as a loving father, companion and a powerful creator of invention and design. When a man stays present and works equally with the mother to raise the family, both can find enlightenment. You would hope so since the sacrifice is enormous. You cannot have the self when successfully raising children. One parent cannot be better than another.
Imagine a young girl learning how capable, creative and intuitive she was. What kind of a woman would she grow up to be respecting her body as a divine vessel for life? We are seeing more women today raising the children alone. The female has started to realize the man’s financial contribution isn’t enough without his emotional and spiritual support. Anyone can make money but not very many can raise a child into wholeness.
Perhaps it’s time for human’s to get back on-line with nature. It will take the woman to start the process by regaining her natural right of selection. If she can quiet the belief system that she needs a man to provide for her, she can grow more deeply within herself. She can learn to allow only a man who is compassionate and able to communicate into a relationship with her. Perhaps even a few men would fight over her and she could choose who would represent a more loving next generation. Within the heart of the victor would grow immense pride for his achievement and that pride would consume his whole family. Perhaps in time other countries would see the benefit of living in peace and the joy of embracing the powerful contribution men and woman have to offer each other.
In the arms of a new mother all men begin their life deeply connected to a woman. If the woman can understand her important role as mother of the next generation, she can teach her son the importance of communication and emotion. She can teach him that crying will reduce his chances of having a heart attack. When the young man grows into wholeness, the respect for his mother and father will be immense and no doubt the cycle will repeat itself into the next generation.