The Mechanics of Depression

There is no entity who is separate from depression or for that matter any sensation or state that may arise in awareness ~ label it what you may. There is no one who is depressed, angry, jealous, afraid, confused, clear or joyful.

To explain; a sensation arises in awareness that is captured by attention which also occurs in the field of awareness. An observer, who calls herself a person, arises simultaneously within the field of awareness together with the sensation, and labels the sensation as depression (fill in the blank).

The so-called observer imagines she is separate and distinct from the sensation which she now calls depression. She imagines she is separate from anything and everything that appears to arise in the field. Resistance to the sensation, which has been labelled depression, only amplifies the thoughts and feelings around the sensation and the desire to further separate from the sensation called depression.

Once the sensation has been assessed; once it has been judged as either good or bad, it is compared to previous labels, which were given to previous sensations. The sensation no longer appears to be a sensation; it is given meaning and significance. There is a comparison and evaluation to previous sensations that reside in memory and all of a sudden the sensation is no longer just a sensation; it’s considered to be unwanted. It becomes a story called “my depression”.

The entity imagines she is separate and unique from the sensation, even though she wrongly identifies with and too a label that has now become a story; a story that causes great suffering. The appearance of division has arisen; an idea has been adopted that there is both an observer and something which can be observed. Once the division occurs; once distinction has been made ~ trouble begins.

The fiction of separation results in the observer imagining she can resist the sensation. A desire arises to run away from an unfolding story around the sensation. Through distinction, further ideas seduce the observer into believing that there can be an escape from the sensation and the story, which is now feared. It is a story that must be resisted at all costs. Earlier, it was just a sensation; it was only an impulse of life, but now it seems to have morphed into something that feels much greater and very different from what was.

The illusion of an independent person, who is separate and distinct, creates many false assumptions in the observer, including the idea she can “do” something about the sensation that has been labelled; that has now become a story. She imagines that there is something that needs to be fixed, changed, healed or transformed in order to return to some original state of purity and so-called balance; to find something that was somehow lost. A so-called victim is born; a victim who then becomes a seeker.

Perfection imagines imperfection and then tries to clean up the illusion of a mess that never really existed in ways that were perceived. The observer now resists and denies what is observed and an avalanche of ideas and techniques, philosophies and stories are used to avoid, explain, reframe or eliminate what simply is; an impulse of life.

An observer will never be able to fix or change a sensation that has already arisen, but she can navigate the troubled waters of perception and meaning, that gives rise to the many labels and stories that now overwhelm.

In the moment of the sensation the observer is the depression. As long as she regards her depression as something that is separate and distinct from herself, she will be stuck in an illusion of a story that has been perpetuated by her own misunderstanding and judgment. Determined by the story called depression, she will be subjected to the mask and limits of her personal, assumed identity and any idea or notion that it may contain as conditioning.

Endless conflict and suffering will arise as a result of her misunderstanding and ignorance about her true nature and Self, others, and the world she lives in. A “gift” can be found in the knowing of Self ~ what she is and what she is not. When/if the observer would experience the sensation directly without trying to resist, control, judge, evaluate or change the sensation that has been labelled depression, she might recognize an ever present freedom seen within this so-called state; she might recognize the perfection within apparent imperfection.

The word as label is memory; it is not the thing. When the word is no longer significant to the mind ~ when the sensation and the meaning that has been attached to the sensation no longer grabs attention; there will be a different kind of relationship.

When the observer no longer fixates on the sensation as a word, or the story that arises after the sensation that has occurred; the observer and what is observed will no longer need to be seen as separate: something that needs to be fixed or changed. What can be seen is the direct nature of the relationship that appears to occur between the alleged observer and the observed. The sensation and the observer can be seen as one. The observer, sensation, and state, are One.

Here is where the sensation is no longer judged, and here there is freedom.

Here is where the sensation is no longer filtered through a judgment that has become a word, which is a label that inevitably leads to a story called “my depression”.

There is no separate entity/observer from a state, whether we call that state depression, anger, jealousy, fear, confusion, clarity or joy!

There is only a state arising, or not.

There is no entity who is separate from depression; there is only depression or not. There is no one who is “depressed” or “not depressed”.

There is no entity who is separate from anger; there is only anger or not. There is no one who is “angry” or “not angry”.

There is no separate entity from jealousy; there is only jealousy or not. There is no one who is “jealous”.

There is not separate entity from fear; there is only fear or not. There is no one who is “afraid” or “not afraid”.

There is no entity who is separate from confusion; there is only confusion or not. There is no one who is “confused” or “not confused”.

There is no separate entity from clarity; there is only clarity or not. There is no one who is “clear” or “unclear”.

There is no separate entity from joy; there is only joy. There is no one who is “joyful” or “not joyful”.

There is a state; or there is no state.

You are ultimately not a state. All states appear to arise and subside in awareness that you affectionately albeit wrongly, label and identify as yourself.

There is no entity who is separate and distinct from any state, and yet you are at once, also simultaneously beyond all states.

The observer and the observed are one.

Ultimately there is no entity, and there is no state.

There are only impulses of life that appear as sensations that come and go.

Watch those impulses.

Watch those sensations and so-called states.

Watch them arise and watch them subside.

Watch them until there is recognition that those sensations and states, come and go ~ or not.

Watch those sensations you call states without giving them any labels; without giving them any meaning or significance that might seemingly then amplify the intensity and story you may have given them. And please, do not identify yourself to those stories ~ you are not your stories.

A sensation arises and a sensation subsides.

Let the sensation remain a sensation.

Let the sensation arise, to be seen as an innocent impulse of life.

Let the sensation Be.

Watch those sensations and states, and watch the stories that may arise around those sensations and states.

Experience those sensations with naked vulnerability ~ directly.

Watch those sensations and states until you notice those sensations and states that come, will also inevitably always go.

Watch those sensations and states until there is the realization that what remains before, during and after those sensations and states is a changeless you that is already, always there: before, during and after those sensations and states come and go. Then those sensations and states can be seen with affectionate detachment; then they can be seen with innocent, naked, direct, eyes.

When it appears an entity can directly experience that she is her depression or state, then and only then, there appears to be complete freedom from the sensation called depression and the story that thrives on the label and judgement around that so-called depression. Then those sensations will be seen for what they are: transient and fleeting labelled states that have been misunderstood. They are simply sensations that have become labelled states that arise and subside in awareness, and are ultimately unimportant in the consideration of who and what you are.

Nothing will get you out of the prison of depression or state called anger, jealousy, fear, confusion, clarity or joy, until you are free from the prison of your own self-engendered thinking; the conditioning which perpetuates the label and story, and the personal identity you call “me”.

Shift attention from the word that has become a story and let it settle on the sensation only. Let attention anchor itself in the awareness of the you that is witnessing the sensation. Let it settle on the you that is witnessing ~ the One that is already, always there; as wholeness apparently expressing itself in the moment as depression, anger, jealousy, fear, confusion, clarity or joy.