Success and Loss

My brother was diagnosed with cancer in May. By June he had passed away.
Initially the situation was one of horror, shock, sadness and anger but as we went through the weeks and as his failing health became more evident, we also realised that anything we needed to talk about would have to be done sooner, rather than later.
One afternoon, we drove to the countryside and, even though he was very weak, with great determination my brother climbed a small hill that gave us a wonderful view of the surrounding world. We sat there for 3 hours and spoke of almost every life story we had engaged in together.
When the time came to leave, we both knew that my brother was returning to the hospital to die, but in the sadness of the situation could not bring ourselves to speak of his pending journey.
We stood up from where we’d been sitting and in simultaneous, spontaneous action, hugged each other and cried like two lost souls.
Words had failed us, but emotion and the true language of who we are spoke in volumes.
We stood there crying and holding each other’s broken hearts; broken in the knowledge that on the face of it, we were soon to be parted, although in truth he has always remained never more than a thought away.
I got to know my brother and my Self that day in a way that was more beautiful than any brother-to-brother experience I can describe. It was true. It was unconditional and, like two columns of light, we intertwined in the wonderment of showing each other just how much we cared.
If any good was to come from the tragedy of losing somebody to cancer then the journey of enlightenment I experienced that day was a direct result of where we both found ourselves in the stories that were our lives.
Out of the darkest of places can emerge the brightest of lights, leading to a knowledge and a freedom that is far more than the transient nature of anyone’s life.
When I embraced my brother that day amidst tears and sadness I also embraced my Self in the hope and truth that, as we see ourselves losing something, we can also see ourselves finding a truth we may have thought we had lost.
I try not to say in sadness how much I miss him. I rather think how this situation gave both of us an opportunity to learn so much of the truth of who we are and the truth of life itself.
Not every situation is as dramatic as the death of a family member and not every situation will carry such profound emotion, imagery, messages and often enlightenment, but there is no doubt that as we go through life every experience gives us the chance to reassess our decision-making process, our judgments and our opportunities for correction. Correction gives us choices of how we want to live and how we want to see ourselves.
With or without drama, we can make that change from that wayward place of loss, vulnerability and indifference to a world which is ours in all its completion. Dramatic circumstances are often a wake up call to change direction and reassess the immediate nature of who we are.
Learn to make decisions without the drama from that heart-felt place where you want to give your Self the truth and the meaningful life that you know you deserve.
Sometimes, a perceived loss is not that at all. Every situation is only a loss when you fail to learn a little bit more about the truth and human frailty that we all are. When you close your Self to learning then you open your heart to loss. This becomes the sadness of the forgotten child within each and every one of our hearts. Find the child and give him or her love and opportunity truly deserved, the love that’s there to find in every single story that makes up our lives.