The Starving Self

The first step towards change is acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do. Change is not something you do. It's something you allow.
–Will Garcia

What is it that you just don’t have enough of? Is it time? Money? Happiness? Success? Love? Fulfillment? Joy? Space? Sex? Most of us want more of something. As a matter of fact, most of us want more of a lot of things. We live in a society where more is always better, and better usually means more. Yet no matter how much we get, we continually seem to be starving. We’re starved for love, for affection, for wealth and for time. And as we try to soothe this gobbling savage beast inside, we stuff ourselves with whatever is available; food, shopping, sex, petty dramas and the list goes on. We literally bloat ourselves and our lives, with empty calories and empty content, while trying to feed something much deeper within. So where are you starving? What are you gobbling up on a daily or weekly basis that is leaving you overweight, in debt, buried in clutter, stressed out, time deprived and still depleted and unsatisfied?

Starvation is no longer a disease of Third World and developing countries. It has reached the proportions of Global Epidemic. Although our North American life styles may seem far removed from starvation, I would suggest just the opposite. Our voracious appetites devour anything in their path; food, clothing, cars, media and the list goes on, with little concern for quantity or quality. This type of indiscriminate ravenous consumption is the hallmark of a starving man. So what are we starving for?

My challenge to you this week is…… to uncover your own “Starving Self”. First make a list of all the things that you consume in excess on a weekly basis. Is it binge eating? Is your spending out of control? Maybe it’s alcohol, drugs, movies, internet, electronic games – we all have something! What do you consume in hopes that you’ll feel better, but seldom do? What do you gobble up or spend your time, energy and money on, only to find short term gratification, and never the long term fulfillment that we all crave?

Once you have your list, write beside each item how that particular person, thing or activity makes you feel. Here are a few from my list: I feel relieved, beautiful, rewarded, worthy, more alive, cared-for, wanted, desired, in-control. Notice that however it’s making you feel in the moment, is probably the opposite of what the long term effects are. For example, impulse buying may make you feel rich and in control in the moment, but when your credit card statement comes in you’ll most likely feel depleted and out of control.

Next, pick one "feeling" from your list. If it’s cared-for, what could you do this week to truly nurture and care for yourself? If it’s financially in-control, what one step could you take this week to taking charge of your finances?

When we truly feed our hungry selves, the need to indulge subsides. We nourish that starving place within us, and our cravings dwindled, as we fuel the desires of our hearts and our souls.

Until next time… Be Good to Yourself!

Love Life and Laughter! Hunter