When asked about the people you admire the most, it is very likely that you adore at least one of those people because they are just so confident about themselves in everything they do. Perhaps you envy them because you find it so hard to build confidence in yourself. Well, do you believe that there really isn’t such a thing as confidence? You cannot acquire confidence per se, but you can certainly develop a confident way of thinking, which then results in confident behavior.

What makes a person confident?

A confident person is someone who has developed a habit of doing confident behaviors. You can do this, too, by simply faking confidence. This way, you can make your mind really think that you are confident in yourself. Interestingly, the more you try to fake your confidence, the more truly confident you become.
Having a confident mindset is a matter of choice, and so is being quiet and shy. How you will act in front of other people and in any situation is all your choice and within your control. For example, you become shy when you want to be shy, perhaps because you don’t know the people you are with. And so, if you want to look confident, you have to decide to be confident.

How to act confident?

Keep in mind that whenever you behave in a confident manner, such behavior will tell your mind that you are feeling confident indeed. Thus, the harder you try to act confident, the more you will build a real sense of self confidence. Below are some tips to remember on how to have a confident behavior:

1. Do not fidget. Fidgeting is a sign of not having control of your body’s movements. Confident people know what they are doing, and every movement that they make is meaningful. So make purposeful movements in order to look confident.

2. Take up as much space as you can. When you sit on a chair, make sure your body is relaxed and don’t hesitate to lean back. When you speak, make large hand gestures that take up space. Do not limit yourself to only one position and never shrink.

3. Stand tall at all times. Even when you are sitting, make sure that you are standing tall. Having a great posture is key to looking and feeling confident. Put your chest out and keep your head level. Do not look down unless you really need to look at something below. And when you walk, do it like someone who is so proud of what he has achieved.

4. Speak with confidence and slowly. Speaking really fast only makes you look so nervous and panicky. Confident people never rush in saying what they want to say. They take their time because they know and they are confident that the others are willing to wait for what they have to say. When you speak, stay relaxed and don’t let words just pour out of your mouth rapidly.

5. Don’t try to be someone else. If you want to build self confidence, acting like another person isn’t the way to do it. When you try to be another person, no matter how much you admire him or her, you are putting so much pressure onto yourself. All you need to do is be yourself! You know what it’s like to be confident, so there’s no need to replicate another person. Besides, you want people to accept you for who you really are, and not for who they want you to be.

6. Make eye contact and always be attentive. One admirable thing about confident people is that they don’t focus too much on themselves. They actually pay attention to others and what other people have to say. By being attentive to others, you make yourself look more confident, appealing and quite respectable.

7. Don’t even think you could please everyone. We all want to receive the approval of other people, of course, but there is no point in trying to please everyone around. When you focus on pleasing other people, you become dependent on what they say about you and how they act towards you.

8. Don’t repeatedly offer assurance. If you want to convince someone, you don’t have to say many times why they should trust you. Confidently making your point is enough, and you should believe that your words are as credible as you are. When you become too pushy, you will likely make them feel like you are hiding something and that they should be wary.

9. Come clean. In many cases, people get nervous and very anxious because they are hiding something. If you are not being loyal to your own company, for instance, you have every reason to always look uneasy and frightened. But if you are sure that you aren’t doing anything wrong, you have every reason to feel relaxed and at ease.

10. Don’t say you know if you actually don’t know. Pretending to know something that you don’t have a clue about is a big mistake. You are not only fooling the people around you, but you are also fooling yourself. Confident people are not scared to admit that there are things they don’t know. When you are asked something you don’t know about, be honest and humble enough to say so. This will make you even more likeable and respectable.

Building your self confidence is very important not only as you develop your personality, but also as you set your career pathways. How confident you are in yourself will determine how easily employers and hiring managers will put their trust in you.

Author's Bio: 

Cecile Peterkin is a certified career and retirement coach, and a registered member of the Career Professionals of Canada and the International Coach Federation. She is also the Founder and Senior Career Strategist at Cosmic Coaching Centre, provider of career and life management services for middle managers and mid-career professionals across Canada, United States and Europe.