There are times in life where it will be important for one to be serious and then there will be times when this is not the case. If one was to come across as one way all the time, they are going to be out of balance.

However, this doesn’t mean that one is going to spend half of each day being serious and the other half being unserious. It will all depend on what is taking place in their life and how one needs to respond to what is occurring.

A Choice

When one has the ability to utilise both options, it is going to allow them to respond in the right way. If, on the other hand, one only had the ability to be one way, it is going to cause them to behave in the wrong way.

This will also be something that other people pick up on and they will wonder why one is acting as they are. In this case, one’s behaviour won’t match up with what is taking place.


In the eyes of others, one is going to come across as though they are unable to be serious or as though they are unable to let go and relax. This could cause other people to judge them, or they may take a different route and wonder why they are acting as they are.

Yet, if one has known someone for a long time and has become accustomed to their behaviour, it could be something that they overlook. But there is also the chance that they are the same way and this may mean that their behaviour doesn’t stand out.


It could then be in their best interests to go along with how the other person is behaving; if they were to question them, they would have to look at themselves. Therefore, the other person validates how they behave and this stops them from having to change.

What this means is that one is not going to be concerned about the other persons behaviour, they are going to be focused on doing everything they can to protect themselves. There is also the chance that one has friends who are the complete opposite of them.

The Best Approach

If one is always serious, they could end up talking about how this is the way to be and how their friend needs to stop playing around. This then causes their friend to tell them how they are too serious and how they need to relax for once.

Each person is then identified with their approach, and they are unable to accept that both sides have a time and a place. Yet, until one is able to embrace both sides, they will continue to attract people who reflect their own imbalance.

It looks better

When it comes to what looks better, being unserious is generally going to be seen as the best option. This approach could be backed up with the fact that ‘life is short’ and ‘how we are all going to die anyway’.

Along with this, human beings are programmed to seek pleasure and to avoid pain. So based on these factors (and many others), it seems logical to be happy all the time and not to get weighed down.

It looks Worse

Being serious, on the other hand, is generally not going to make one as appealing as they would be if they had a big smile on their face. As a result of this, it may cause other people to avoid them.

This is not going to be personal though, it is going to come down to how they feel in their presence. If one ends up feeling drained when they are with someone, they are probably going to want to take a step back.

A Trigger

Another reason why they want to avoid being around someone like this is due to what it triggers within them. Spending time with the other person reminds them of what they have disconnected from within themselves.

However, instead of one being able to own what is taking place within them, they are going to end up making the other person feel as though they are the ones with the problem. Through this, one can pretend that there is nothing wrong with them.

Being Serious

When one is serious, it is going to mean that they are embracing how they feel. Now, if one has disconnected from their feelings and has a lot of pain within them, it is going to be a lot harder for them to do this.

In this case, being serious is going to remind one of what they avoided, and this could be overwhelming. Their need to be unserious is then a defence mechanism and something that keeps their pain at bay.


Until one faces the pain that is within them, they are going to continue to come across as though they are out of touch with themselves. This doesn’t mean that one needs to be serious all the time, as this could a sign that one is stuck in their pain.


What it comes down to is for one to have the ability to be serious and for them to be able to be unserious. In order for one to be able to embrace both sides and to be a whole human being, they may need to seek the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

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