If one was to find out that someone isn’t in a relationship, it might not surprise them, and this could come down to the fact that they are not physically attractive. On the other hand, if they were attractive, it might be hard for them to understand why this is the case.

One Outlook

It would be easy to say that one would need to be a shallow human being to see life in this way. This comes down to the fact that they are basing their value on what they look like, as opposed to what they are like as a person.

How this person treats others and what they stand for is then irrelevant; the only thing that matters is the face and body they have inherited. Or if they were not born this way, it could be a sign that they have had plastic surgery, for instance.

Two Parts

As a result of this, it could be said that it would be better for one to no longer base another person’s value on what they look like, and to pay attention to what they are like as a person. After all, it it’s not as if the majority of people who are attractive have had to do anything to look good, but if someone has a good personality, this will have taken a certain amount of effort.

One could then meet someone who is attractive and single, and they could let it go over their head. Alternatively, they could meet someone is not physically attractive and single, and they could be surprised.


If one was to do this, they would have to go against their own nature, and this would cause them to experience conflict. The reason for this is that human beings are drawn to beauty, and this is not something that can be changed.

For example, the reason men are drawn to younger woman and women with a certain body shape is that they are showing signs of fertility. Therefore, it is not that they are ‘shallow’; it is that they want to a woman who will be able to produce healthy offspring.

A Number of Reasons

So when a man is with someone who is physically attractive, it is going to make him feel good and there is a strong chance that his children will be healthy. It could be said that the first part has to exist in order for him to want to engage in the second part.

One way of looking at this would be to say that this is nature’s way of getting a man to reproduce. Still, it would be inaccurate to say that men are the only ones who care about how someone looks, as women are just the same.

Creating the Right image

If one had the need to please others and to come across as ‘progressive’, for instance, they could tell themselves and others that looks don’t matter. But if they were to have this outlook, it doesn’t mean that they won’t be drawn to people who are physically attractive.

Due to this, they could end up saying one thing and behaving in a way that is the complete opposite. However, there is what one will be drawn to and then there is the kind of person who they will be able to attract.


Thus, even though one might be drawn to man/woman who looks a certain way, it doesn’t mean that they will be end up attracting them. There can be a number of reason as to why this is the case.

For one thing, they might not value themselves, and this can cause them to settle for people who they are not really attracted to. Also, one might not be in the best of shape, and this is can make it harder for them to attract the kind of person they desire.

A Shock

So with all this in mind, it is easy to see why one would be surprised if they were to come across someone who is attractive and single. But even though someone is physically attractive, it doesn’t mean that they are perfect.

At the end of the day, they are still going to have issues like everyone else, and this is something that needs to be kept in mind. Yet, with that aside for the time being, there are a number of reasons as to why they would be single.

The Common Reasons

What this could show is that this is someone who has only just broken up with another person. This could then be a time when they are happy to spend time by themselves and to focus on other areas of their life.

Alternatively, they might not have the time to be in a relationship at this point in their life, and this might show that they are focusing on their career. Either way, being in a relationship is not going to interest them.

Another Factor

At the same time, there is the chance that one doesn’t value themselves, and this may have caused them to attract the wrong types of people. This can make them wonder if they will ever be able to trust anyone again.

Through being this way, they can either attract people who treat them badly, or they can end up with people who are ‘nice’. This is then going to cause them to be walked over by another person or they will walk over someone else, and neither of these options is going to be very fulfilling.


There is also the chance that one is caught up with their own needs and feelings, and this is going to stop them from being able to have a relationship. If they were with someone, it is not going to be possible for them to extend themselves and to bridge the gap, so to speak.

One is going to look right, but they are not going to have the ability to fulfil another person’s needs. But while this will cause them to push healthy people away, there are still going to be people who don’t value themselves who will put up with this kind of behaviour.


What this emphasises is that even if someone is attractive it doesn’t mean that they will be able to have a fulfilling relationship. In order for this to take place, they will need to value themselves and to have the ability to empathise with others.

If one is attractive and they find it hard to attract the right person, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand three hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and 'Communication Made Easy'.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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