There is the chance that someone has been in a number of relationships that were not very fulfilling. Thanks to this, they could question if they want to be in another relationship or if they just want to stay single forever.

Then again, they could currently be in yet another relationship that is greatly undermining them and be thinking about cutting their ties. If they were to take this step, they might end up staying single for quite some time.

A Mismatch

Ultimately, regardless of what position they are in right now, there will be what they want and there will be what they end up with. If they have primarily been in relationships that are not fulfilling, it is not going to be much of a surprise if they are well and truly fed up.

They can feel totally powerless and hopeless and believe that someone or something out there is holding them back. At this point, they may have a strong desire to forget all about this area of their life and focus on other areas.

External Support

If they have a few close friends, they could tell these people about what is going on for them. What these people could say, in one way or another, is that they are simply unlucky and that their luck is bound to change soon.

From this, it will be clear that they have their best interest at heart but they won’t be able to shed light on what their life is this way. Still, if it wasn’t for their support, it would be a lot harder for them to handle what is going on.

A Natural Outcome

If they are told that they are simply unlucky, this is likely to show that these people believe that things just happen in life or at the very least, that who someone ends up with is a very random process. Consequently, it will just be about them hanging in there until the right person just shows up.

Along with these, they are all likely to live in a society that also just believes that things just happen and who someone meets is more or less random. What they themselves believe will then have just been absorbed from their environment.

A Reason

While this will provide them with an answer when it comes to why this area as well as other areas of their life is the way that it is, it won’t fill them with belief that they can change this area of their life. What it will do is cause them to feel as though they have no control over this area of their life and are at the whim of fate.

In other words, it will settle their mind down but it won’t allow them to experience what they truly desire. If they do, it will show that their luck has just happened to change and this has allowed them to meet someone who is right for them.

Going Deeper

However, what if who they end up with is not random and they are actually playing a part? Upon hearing this, they could say that this is not possible as who they have ended up with has been nothing like who they actually want to be with.

Although this will be the case, it doesn’t mean that they are not playing a part in what is going on. What they will need to keep in mind is that they have both a conscious and an unconscious mind.

Two Parts

Not only this but what is taking place at a deeper level will typically have a far greater impact on what they do and don’t experience. By not understanding the impact that this part of them has, it is to be expected that they will see themselves as a powerless victim when it comes to this and perhaps other areas of their life.

What will have made it difficult for them to see through this view is that they will live in a society that promotes it. This will be a society where the unconscious mind is largely overlooked, which is partly why the victim mentality is so prevalent.

The Past is Present

When it comes to this bigger, stronger part of their being, it will contain the emotional wounds that they experienced throughout their development years, among other things. These emotional wounds won’t just lie dormant, though, they will play a part in who they are drawn to and repel and what experiences they have with whoever they draw in.

As a result of this, the experiences that they have in an adult relationship are going to be similar, if not the same, to the experiences that they had throughout their developmental years. Yet, as their brain will have blocked out what took place in order to protect them, causing their conscious mind to forget all about what happened, they won’t be able to see the connection.

Shinning the Light

What this illustrates is how important it is for someone to be able to detach from what is going on externally and to bring their attention inwards. Without this ability, they will be unknowingly walking around in the dark and will thus, bump into things and fall over from time to time.

When it comes to how they are repeating their early experiences, they could have the tendency to end up with people who are not available and/or who are abusive, for example. Now, if they were able to connect to their early years, they may see that one or both of their parents was distant and/or abusive.

Drawing the Line

So, if instead of seeing what is taking place as a sign that they are unlucky and have no control, they see it as a reflection of what they need to resolve inside themselves, it will give them the chance to transform their life. Facing the pain that is inside them and working through it won’t be easy, but it will be their way out.

This is a process that will take courage and patience and persistence. But, by choosing to consciously suffer, there will be no need for this area of their life to bring them nothing but misery and pain for as long as they live.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author of 25 books, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to -

Feel free to join the Facebook Group -