Pedestalization: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Put Others On A Pedestal?

If someone was able to step back and reflect on their life, what they may find is that they have the tendency to elevate others. As a result of this, seeing another person as more knowing, more powerful and more capable will be normal.

They are then going to be at one level and the average person will be on a level that is much higher. What might stand out is that it typically doesn’t matter what this person is actually like as they could see them as being superior to them.

One Outcome

They could see that, through being this way, they look towards others to tell them what to do and how to live their life. But, based on how they see others, this is not going to be a surprise.

No matter what they know or what they have experienced, other people are still going to know what is best for them. Their life will then be in the hands of others; they won’t be leading themselves.

One Scenario

By being this way, they may have a number of people in their life who act as though they are all-knowing and all-powerful. Someone like this is then going to be only happy to tell one what they should do and how they should live their life.

Although this person might not be aware of this, they are likely to see one as a child. They are then going to be at one level and one will be at a lower level, which is why they will know what is best for them.

Inner Conflict
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Seeing other people in this way is likely to be what feels comfortable but it doesn’t mean that they will enjoy living in this way. They can often feel controlled, walked over, disrespected and as though they are worthless.

But, as frustrating as it will be at times for them to live in this way, they might not have a strong need to change their life. They might need to suffer for a little while longer before anything changes.

No Choice

However, at this point in time, they might not believe that they can do a great deal about what is going on. Based on how they see themselves, they could believe that they are incapable of making decisions for themselves and living their own life.

It could be as though they lack something that other people have and this is why they need to place their life in their hands. Therefore, their only option will be to do the best that they can to tolerate what is going on.

What’s going on?

If they have been this way for as long as they can remember, it is to be expected that this will just be seen as how their life is. Nonetheless, even if this is the case, it doesn’t mean that there is absolutely nothing that they can do and that their life will always be this way.

There is a strong chance that the reason their life is this way is due to what took place during their formative years. This may have been a time when they missed out on the nutrients that they needed to grow and develop in the right way.

A Closer Look

Throughout this stage of their life, they might have often been harmed and/or neglected, which would have meant that a number of their developmental needs would have rarely if ever been met. By being deprived of what they needed, they wouldn’t have been able to go through each stage and grow into a strong and capable adult.

Instead, they would have been traumatised at different stages and ended up being loaded up with pain and arousal. This pain and arousal would have automatically been repressed by their brain in order for them to keep it together and function.

Two Parts

The years would then have passed and their physical and mental self would have grown, but, their emotional self wouldn’t have moved on from this stage of their life. At this level, they are likely to carry parts that relate to when they were a child, toddler and an infant.

Along with the stage of their life that each of these parts corresponds with, there will be the pain that each part is carrying. So, when they see another person as being above them, they are likely to be seeing through the eyes of a part of themselves that is stunted and feels totally helpless.

Drawing the line

What this illustrates is that while the past will be behind them, they will continue to carry the impact that the past had on them. These parts will need to be faced and integrated and, as this happens, the need for them to place others on a pedestal will gradually decrease.

For this to take place, they will need to face the pain and express the unmet developmental needs that are inside them. This will take courage and patience and persistence.
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Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.