A mom called me saying she just wasn’t prepared for this empty nest. She read so many baby and teen books but nothing would help this sorrow she was feeling as an empty nester.

Change is vulnerable. Change doesn’t mean, even if you read and prepare, that you won’t have days of inertia and sorrow for what is left behind.

Our parenting roles shift and don’t travel in a straight line.

It isn’t something you get over or suddenly get about this stage of life. Tears still fall. Good news, a freedom and joy do show up.

How? Patience, feel your feelings whenever and wherever they visit you, lower your expectations of how you should be or where you should be by now, and get support. No one needs to go through the transition alone.

Put your toe in the water to make a step towards something to lift you. Make that list of things you wanted to do- liked to do before marriage, and still keep that Kleenex handy.

Grieving is part of the cycle. Who wouldn’t be sad to hug a role good bye or to be missing someone you love. Yes, they come back and both of you are changed.

Explore who you are and who you aren’t. Write it down. You might be surprised what shows up on the paper.

It isn’t easy to focus back on yourself when you have been in the dad or mom role for so long. It will become easier, for sure. You raised your children well and now they are stepping up into a new role.

Take good care,

Natalie

Author's Bio: 

Natalie Caine M.A., has spent 27 years developing and facilitating women’s groups from “Mommy and Me” to changes brought on by divorce, re-entering the work force, illness, death, re-marriage and singlehood. She started a support group for parents anticipating the empty nest and a website to receive information and talk with others, and is founder and creator of Empty Nest Support Services. Natalie can be heard on Lifetime Radio Network for Women, has been featured in the New York Times, Better Homes and Gardens and other magazines as an expert for empty nesters. Her book, “Life Beyond Transitions” will be published in 2010.

Email this author at ncaine@boomer-living.com

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