My Thoughts On Boundaries And Being Spiritual

Having boundaries is tantamount to not truly being open. Basically, anyone who ever says they want to set boundaries is a selfish person because those boundaries are the rules you set up on how other people have to treat and interact with you. That is the point of a boundary.
You may justify the need of boundaries only because you do not have the strength to resist how other people treat you, but this is simply justifying your own weakness. A boundary is necessary to protect you from being hurt or manipulated by another person, but in fact, no one can make you do or feel anything. Every thought and action a person takes must begin in your own mind.

The principles I have written about in my book, Understanding Words: An End to Anger & Conflict prove how we can very easily be impermeable to other peoples comments and thus never get angry. If you can reach the state of not being angry or emotionally manipulated, you do not need to have boundaries. At this point, you can become a truly open minded and free person who let’s other people live as they choose. This of course will make everyone much happier.

Spiritual people cannot have boundaries

Thus, if one has any boundaries, they are in contradiction to being truly of open heart and spirit because they are concerned with themselves first. This is a contradiction between being selfish and putting up rules that are for your interest and then also saying you are a spiritual person. God does not set boundaries and a spiritual person is supposed to be one who is seeking God, which is done by emulating God.

I have learnt that this is a path to terrible unrest in ones heart. Any time we want something from another person, we will be disappointed. This shows that you do not have acceptance of people as they are or are permitting them to be what they want to be. This will always end in conflicts.

Everyone wants to have the right to be who they are, yet they forget that everyone else wants the same right. Boundaries and rules of how people should treat you robs them of the right of freedom of choice as to how they choose to act.

Thus, you live in a prison either as a prisoner controlled by other people or as the prison guard controlling them.

It is tricky, you want to be treated well, but you also must allow others to act as they choose, which is not always treating you the way you want. The only solution I have found is that I let everyone do what they want, and if I do not like it, then I ignore and do not associate with them. That way everyone gets the right to live the way they choose, and perhaps, they will learn to behave better.

Rather than having boundaries which regulate other people, make yourself free, and then everyone can be free and relaxed.