Mars and Venus only the Beginning of the Story

Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus. I know it was a best seller. John Gray wrote a great book in 1992 and it helped people see how understanding distinctive separations of gender function could lead to greater harmony. It was a success and I praise it. But astrologically speaking, the Mars and Venus dogs just won't hunt! There is more to it, if you will permit an astrological continuation of the theme.

Women are as martian as you can get. Who can take off at the beginning of the day and multi-task their lives without stopping until they drop into bed? Women. Who can fire off orders to little ones, teenagers, their recalcitrant husbands and then be dynamic at work giving and taking instructions? Women. Who jams the foot on the accelerator, pushes through traffic and tries not to toss a handy epithet out the window as they make their way to their next appointment? Women. And the wiles of Venus have their ways with men too. Who wants some comfort at the end of a day of hard work? Men. Who seeks the piece of their "man cave" and seeks out the solace of beer in a sweet Venusian moment? Men. Who wants a little reinforcement, but seldom gets the appreciation they crave? Men.

Everybody has Everything Somewhere.

To give an "astro picture" of the points under discussion, Of course, the "Men are from Mars, Women Are From Venus" metaphor, is only that, an image of a way to understand. But we all have the planets and the signs and their aspects somewhere along the horary wheel. As my mother loved to say: "You hate Scorpio? Everybody has Scorpio somewhere in one of their houses". So to say one sex has the qualities of one planet and one another is a basic misnomer. That is limiting. And don't "hate" any sign or planet because you have them somewhere in your horoscope. I have Moon in Pisces in my 10th House at the Midheaven. If I were to "hate Pisces", it would be sad, because it has much to do with my career. And if I were to think of women as only having this, or men as only having that, it would also be a mistake.

But we will go with the technique that the original best seller did, because there is a point to be made. But the point has to do with two of the larger planets, not fiery little Mars and winsome Venus. They are two of the incredibly large outer planets and they have more to do with the making of the world. Its these two big planets that I think, in my humble opinion, have more to do in marking the action of the genders and the sexes. The two big planets I refer to are in the title. Uranus and Saturn and they truly mark the sexes in large and palpable ways.

Uranus - Wild, Imaginative, Technological, Idea Maker, Revolutionary

Uranus is the planet of change and revolution and new ideas. Speaking of man caves, why do men like to go back there? To tinker, to watch TV, to tinker some more, to clear their heads and watch ESPN, and continue tinkering, and yes, to be "themselves", the self that no one else really wants to hear about, but the self who needs a place to "breathe". When men were in caves for months and couldn't really hunt, they had to work on tools and come up with new weapons. They say Neanderthals never improved their spears, like Cro Magnons did. Cro Magnons could hurtle their spears with greater accuracy and subdue game from a distance, thus making the way for survival and more material success. Uranus is wild and imaginative. Uranus generates new ideas. When one man saw how a the particular structure of a seed clung to his leggings, he came up with the idea for velcro. Uranus also is revolutionary. Men are constantly trying to hold themselves back from little impulses, big impulses, crazy actions, nutty responses and stuff like -- Manifestos that want to change the world. Not all men are revolutionary. But revolutions are started by men. You can not name in this modern world all the various inventions that men have come up with in their man caves.

Why did some cultures in history not come up with the wheel for the longest time? I won't name names, but darn. Where were the guys from Uranus who missed that one? The wheel has saved mucho time and done incredible amounts of work. By the way, Uranus makes men say some pretty inexplicable things sometimes. Its part of their charm. But always ponder that those inexplicable things are just coming from a place that may not yet have the structure that Saturn is later going to give them.

If you came to Edison's haunts in New Jersey and just looked at the place and asked what was going on, you would have laughed if he had said: "I am inventing the modern world". And if you were on the sand at Kitty Hawk, you would have giggled at those silly Wright Brothers with that strange beast on the beach. Fast forward to the moon landing and you have an image to hold in your head, as you might have laughed at that funny propellor turning in the sea breeze. Enough of that, the modern world stands pulsating before us with the manifestations of new ideas and revolutionary thoughts. It is this Uranian aspect to men that drives women nutty. But it does make the world seem always new, and then new again.

Saturn - Law Making, Form Creating, Shaper, Judgment Declarer, Kicks Butt

In the Tarot tradition and the Cabbalistic ancient system, Saturn rules the "Cube of Space". It is Saturn that puts the corral around creation and allows God's work to form. Without getting too vivid, it is the place in which life occurs, the empty fleshly space in which the Magic of Life occurs. But the box around the occurrence is constantly changing, and as the little human leaves the birth canal, they fall into the world that the woman shapes and creates so that the kid can make to 18. That is about as large a task as creation asks. That is not the all of it. But it is the core of it.

Anciently, when women made their beautiful little tents in the wild wilderness of the total around, way back when, their organized clean home was all the civilization there was. Go back in your head. Way back, no 7-11 around the corner, no cars, no institutions, no cops. Just "my tent, my bit of civilization and the big bad awesome around". A few steps from most women's tents was not freeways, but the wilderness. And then the hubby comes home and drops the bloody kill to close to her domain. Do you thank him? No, you kick his butt. Women are the rule makers, habit establishers, societal structure creators. Women are the reason for dances and parties and get togethers and people giving a rip about all that there is. Without women's Saturnine influence there would be nothing but dead meat on a spit and some dried skins.

Women make the structures of the world. And all the while, they make men care. Insist that they care. Women accept all those Uranian impulses men have and fit them into the structure of their daily and nightly lives. While the tornado of activity that they orchestrate churns around, they issue their orders for safety, sanity and common sense. It is the women who really run everything, create the need for new things, establish acceptable conduct for the little "blankety blank" kids across the street and the order of silver on a beautiful dining table. Women create the "A List", who is acceptable and who is not. What's "in" and what is "out". The Taj Mahal was made because of the love a man had for a woman. The Great Wall of China was made to keep violence off of the village, the integrity of the home. The whole world is here in all of its complexity because of the forming power of Saturn. The mystery of women, that thing that men don't understand, could probably unfold itself to the light of day, if men would appreciate these Saturnine influences.

The Threshhold

There is so much poetry here, I must conclude with this. The thresh hold was a board or stone or fresh straw at the front door, to stop the ugly outside dirt from moving in and intruding into the house. When a man takes a woman across the thresh hold, it is a symbol. A marvelous symbol. The home is yours and yours to rule, and I take you across the thresh hold as a symbol of our life together as a unit. We are a unit. I accept this structure and because of this structure, we will make a family and out of this a legacy will come.

In adding to the Mars/Venus metaphor, I have opened my self up to criticism for the Uranus/Saturn one. Suffice it to say, and to quote my mother: "Everybody has everything somewhere." so these comparisons only go so far. In truth, all these things work together in a concert of harmony. The "Interdependent Co Arising" - the Way All Things Work Together - in the world is all too complex for one mind to behold. But when we think of these separations of function, they should cause us to be in awe. And they should fill us with a warm reverie about how creation occurs. Be understanding with these distinctions drawn. Inasmuch as they give us patience, admiration, love and praise for each other, they are good. If they cause division and dismay, they are not good. And so, I will leave it there. Appreciate the powers around you, and how we all manifest them, for the interplay of all these forces works itself out every day in your life.

Author's Bio: 

Christofer French is a Psy.D. and Counselor and is the Founder of the website: He holds the belief that there are no "cursed combinations", but each interaction that we have is destiny asking us to improve, get sharpened, enhanced, and made more compassionate. We are down here for harmony believe it or not. Astrological wisdom is a template for understanding differences and playing off our similarities. We need to appreciate our differences before we can really get along.