How I Cope With Social Anxiety

Shyness is quite common and not a real problem unless it becomes chronic and develops into a form of social anxiety that is quite persistent, socially crippling and bothersome. A social phobia is simply a more specific form of social anxiety. There are many different aspects and causes of this disorder resulting in many variations requiring different treatment approaches. Every case is unique. It usually manifests as some form of extreme discomfort, shyness or anxiety associated with being in a social situation, especially a competitive, confrontational or stressful one.

Temporary feelings of shyness are normal and to be expected, especially in those who are young. However, it is when that shyness becomes overwhelming fear, terror and panic at the thought of entering a room full of people regardless of who they are. Whenever this strong aversion lasts for more than several weeks then professional help is needed and called for, especially if one's life is disrupted to the point one can no longer function at school and/or his or her job; that is when it becomes serious.

What are some of the roots of social anxiety or of a specific social phobia (such as the fear of speaking in front of a small group) and how may one go about coping with such a disorder? It is important to understand both the extent of the phobia(s) and how they first came into existence. The proper treatment can only come from knowing where they come from and how they manifest.

There are so many ways a social phobia can develop. A lack of self esteem is one way and that can in itself have many causes. Often times when counseling one with social anxiety one may also come across other related problems such as a history of depression, and/or anxiety disorder, and maybe even agoraphobia as well. Sometimes there are learning disabilities and/or ADD, etc. or some other more specific malfunctions of the brain. That is why it is so important to thoroughly examine the person suffering from social fears.

My own experiences with social phobia revolve around communication and feeling uncomfortable in situations when I must explain certain vital issues and resolve a complex problem with someone else. The other great phobia I have is of that of speaking in front of a large group of people. In both of the above situations or any stressful situation, my memory tends to break down causing my mind to go completely blank. It is very, very embarrassing to be in the middle of a sentence and then suddenly have my mind go completely blank! This problem is a factor that causes me to avoid many social situations because I certainly don't enjoy losing track of the conversation then wondering what the other(s) are thinking!

This is a chronic problem I had since high school which was the most stressful time in my life. My treatment would be to improve my memory with the correct herbs and antioxidants as needed for the brain to function more efficiently even under the most stressful circumstances. Therefore my social phobia of speaking in front of others would most likely be overcome by boosting self-confidence through the use of the right combination of herbs, vitamins, diet and exercise.

To complicate my situation, I may be subject to a certain form of Asperger's syndrome that my older sister thinks I have. This means an inability to form the correct body language, rhythm and facial expressions while interacting with others. There is a certain "something" that the average person takes for granted and is able to use while socializing with others that I just don't have, call it charisma or an intuitive "sociability" or whatever. It is a harmony with others where I often feel great disharmony. Well as others may come across quite natural, graceful and effortless, I tended to come across rather "nerdish," awkward and mechanical. So for years I was picked on in junior high and high school, sorted out from the crowd and called "weird." Unloved and and widely misunderstood, I would often be quite lonely, yet found it very hard to enjoy being with other people because it seemed to take too much effort to interact socially.

I was an introvert much preferring books and self-improvement courses to people or parties. I would try to solve problems independently rather than try to work with others to solve them. I suffered very low self-esteem and was sometimes convinced I was retarded even though I had a great artistic ability, writing ability, and pursued various scientific and spiritual interests. I always scored above normal on various IQ tests except when severely depressed. I had indeed many social relationship problems including tremendous fear and frustration: I felt very confused about myself, and had overwhelming emotional pain to overcome. The few friendships I had tended to be very close and most of them tended to be extremely intelligent, deep thinking, quiet, meek and introverted individuals. Even today, my closest friends seem to be in the most amazing professions and are highly unusual.

I believe every case of social anxiety is unique, often consisting of several or various social phobias along with an individual set of avoidance behavior patterns. Just as in any case of anxiety, social or otherwise, there is almost always a biochemical dimension to it as well. Of course whatever has been known to help reduce, let us say a vague case of generalized anxiety disorder, is also likely to help one recover from a specific social phobia, or it could be a completely different combination of herbs, antioxidants, and/or vitamins that is needed to do the job.

More information and videos related to this article can be found here: http://www.wholejoy.com/healinganxiety/index.html

Russell Symonds (Shaktivirya) has dedicated his life to finding wholeness and is living the "wholeness" lifestyle. His website, Science of Wholeness is a spiritual and nutritional information and research center dedicated to helping you find your keys to wholeness (everlasting joy, love, bliss, rejuvenation, and much, much more). Wholeness can be many things and his website not only discusses all the different aspects of wholeness but also all the different ways toward wholeness. There is no greater thing of beauty, value and joy as wholeness!

The rest of his original articles and his free online book, Science of Wholeness I & II can be found here: http://www.wholejoy.com/wholeness/NEWS.html