Thinking, something we all do from moment to moment, from day to day, and so on, is probably our most important activity – the one that either brings success in or keeps it away. The peculiar thing about thinking, when looking at it as an activity, is that we don’t consider it as such because it (our thinking) just takes its own path without direction. Have you ever wondered about your thoughts and where they come from? I would say that most people don’t. The thing is, we have control over our thoughts and that’s a good thing because it means we have control over the amount of success we gain.
Our brains keep thoughts coming on a continuous basis and without our direct interference the thoughts will continue on as always. All our experiences, successes and failures in life are a direct result of the dominant thoughts we think. The more we think them the more imbedded they become, turning them into a belief.
Most of the beliefs we hold started when we were very small children. As babies we were born blank, without beliefs. Starting with our families we developed beliefs about who we were and what were capable of becoming. Even though we’ve had beliefs for all our lifetime they need not be a life sentence. They can be changed. To start from where we are now and change the beliefs we have, begins with paying attention to our thoughts. For example, if you believe a lack of education prevents you from making all the money you’d like, when an opportunity presents itself you will start the thought sequence that will keep that belief in place: “ I don’t know enough, I’ll never be able to do it”, etc. and the opportunity will slip away. So how do we change these self-defeating thoughts?
1. In your journal write down which area of your life you feel you are held back the most. Write freely, without editing or judgment all the beliefs you have about that particular area. Let your unconscious take over. For example, Susan is forty, wants to be married but never seems to be able to meet the right person. In her journal she will write all the beliefs she has about marriage – freedom is lost, men cheat, marriages are rocky, marriages take a lot of work, etc.
2. Make a list of all the negative beliefs you have about that area of your life and then try to understand where those beliefs came from. Are they true? Probably not. When we know where they came from they lose their credibility.
3. The next step is to create a new way of thinking. In Susan’s case, she will want to look at some of her assumptions about marriage and hold them up to the light. Will her freedom be lost? No, only if she gives it away; men cheat, some do, not all etc. She will then come up with some positive beliefs that will help draw in the marriage that she wants – a partner will help with chores, creating more freedom, having a partner is comforting, marriage is a commitment of love.
4. Commit to changing your negative thoughts into positive ones. You do this by paying attention to what you think on a continual basis and make the necessary changes. You will continue to have negative thoughts but not as many. This process takes time, you’ve been thinking this way a lifetime so it won’t be changed overnight.
5. Focus on the future and imagine the outcome you desire. Visualize your life turning out the way you want it to.
Success is in your hands. Everything starts with a thought. A thought becomes a belief which creates feelings. Feelings drive us to action and from our actions come results.
Sheila is an image coach and consultant who helps her clients discover their gifts and magnetize their presence so they attract more money, better relationships and joy into their lives. Known for blending personal energy, self-empowerment and wardrobe techniques, Sheila uses simple strategies to inspire her clients to create a style they love, while being true to their authentic self so they can walk into any room poised and confident and have happiness, joy and charisma in their lives. Go to www.sheilaalley.com and download "5Ways to Transform Your Style and Attract Ideal Clients".
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