How to Deal With a Jealous Partner

As if making a relationship work isn't hard enough, the addition of jealousy can make it that much harder. Intrusive questions of your whereabouts, your wardrobe and who you talk to can be annoying, and abusive. Excessive jealousy can ruin any relationship. If you are in a relationship with a jealous partner, there are steps you should take to try to alleviate the situation. If these tactics are ineffective, it may be time to move on.

If you are in a relationship with a jealous partner, your first instinct may be to become argumentative, avoid communication with your partner or to become deceptive. However, these actions can actually make the situation worse. The root of jealousy is insecurity, so the aforementioned tactics will only make the jealous partner more insecure and less trusting of you. To the contrary, the first step you should take is to have a talk with your partner during a time when emotional levels are not heightened-definitely not during a quarrel. Ask your partner why he or she feels as if they cannot fully trust you. Even if you believe there is no legitimate reason for his or her feelings, hear them out. Try to avoid using accusatory language, or bringing up specific acts of jealousy they have committed, such as snooping through your personal items.

Next, you should reassure your partner that the reasons surrounding their insecurities are unfounded. For example, your partner may reveal that he or she has been cheated on by partners in the past. Let your partner know that you are not like the ex that betrayed them, and that you are in the relationship because you truly care about them, and have no intention of betraying them. Although it may feel as though you are stating the obvious, your partner will appreciate hearing this from you. Hearing that you are committed to the relationship may result in your insecure partner feeling more secure within your relationship.

Unfortunately, old habits die hard. It is not realistic to expect your excessively jealous partner to drop their intrusive habits overnight. However, you should notice some progress. Give your partner a specific time frame. If he or she is able to show real improvement by the predetermined deadline, continue to work on your relationship issues. If you notice some old jealous habits or comments creeping back up after your conversation, remind your partner that you are committed to making the relationship work, but only if they are able to let go of their jealous tendencies. If your partner is not able to comply, it may be a good sign that it is time to end the relationship, as jealousy can escalate into domestic violence-both physical and emotional.