How Do I Handle A Client in Crisis?

Men have trouble asking for help and calling a coach is asking for help. It is a new field and people don't know much about it. Coaching is good for men because it is in the comfort of home; it is private. However, men don't call coaches until they have a crisis. Men often call a coach when they are on the verge of a divorce. They are no good at picking up a wife's signals that she's tired of the marriage. They are often in shock about what is happening.

In parent coaching, some clients will come with a crisis. Some situation is imploding. How does a divorcing Dad converse with his son? A mother phones to say that her son wants to quit high school and join the Marines, and she does not like that idea.

Sometimes the crisis is low-key, but still immediate and important to the client. For example, a child needs to be potty-trained within a few weeks or otherwise she will not be accepted into nursery school.

Both clients want HELP! Both scenarios will impact your coaching process and relationship with your client. If the client is not in crisis, you will be able to set up your coaching sessions in smoother way. If the client is in crisis, the focus of your first sessions will be about helping the client through the rough spot and then establishing a working coaching relationship.

Let the client talk it out.

In this case, you have to Let Your Client Talk. You have to listen. You have to listen actively, yet soulfully, to your client. Take notes. Listen to your client's concerns. Be aware of what the client says and what he or she is leaving out. Don't interrupt. Hold yourself back. Let the client talk. Your client may be extremely upset and become emotional. That is okay. Stay in a listener's role. You may be tempted to jump in with a lot of suggestions and practical information, but it is better to hold back and listen.

When a client is upset and vulnerable, you may be tempted to take over the problem. At this point, remind yourself that you are coming from the coaching perspective, not a therapeutic one. You are a coach and as such, you believe that:

1. This client is a whole, healthy and resourceful person.
2. This client has the inner resources to handle this problem.

Allow the person to talk through whatever is troubling him or her. Ask questions so that you truly understand what is going on. The first session may be completely about letting the client tell his story and vent emotions. You may do very little talking.

If a problem is truly important and life-changing, you may have to refer your client for psychotherapy. You and the client may need more than one session to determine whether he or she should continue in coaching. If necessary, schedule more than one session per week in the first weeks of coaching. The thrust of your work will be to calm the person and determine how you as a coach can work with the person's strengths to get him out of the crisis mode. After a few sessions, the crisis may still be ongoing, but the client should feel more in control of his or her life.