Haunted By The Past

Two interesting things happened this week, both good, both difficult. I finished reading Mitch Albom`s `The Five People You Meet in Heaven` and it really made me think about some of my past experiences and who my 5 would probably be when I go to heaven, no worries, I am definitely going to heaven. Definitely a book worth reading, I thoroughly enjoyed it, very thought provoking.

I also told a story to a friend about an event that happened to me a very long time ago, something that I had not told anyone else. It was a traumatic and life-changing event at the time. And the event still has an emotional impact on me now almost 24 years later.

It doesn't really matter what the event was, but what matters is how I dealt with the emotional reactions that are still affecting me today.

It has been a difficult week, but I decided to do something about it instead of just wallowing in it and getting carried away by my emotions. I started by first sharing my story with other people, that helped to get it off my chest and to remove the emotional charge of it or at least significantly reduce the charge of it so that now I can look back at that event in my past with more ease and a bit more objectivity. I also went for a walk to clear my head and emotions, always very helpful in emotional cases. Then I focused on who I am now instead of who I was in the past, I focused on my positive qualities and all of the success and joy in my life that I am experiencing now compared to when I was younger.

And finally, I gave myself permission to accept the past and who I was then, learn from it, move forward and be gentle with myself.

I may not have all of the answers right now surrounding that event, but I am sure that I will get them when I go to heaven and meet my five people.

I am still haunted by my past, but I am not afraid of it, it doesn't stop me from moving forward and living life on my terms. I look forward to a promising future with joy, expectation, and hope.