FEMALE EJACULATION

I find it fascinating that men place so much emphasis on their own ejaculations, often to their detriment (unlike women, men lose vital life-force energy with their release), while virtually ignoring women’s ejaculatory capacity. Trust me! The world would be a much different place if men ejaculated less and women ejaculated more. While the discovery of the G-spot may rank first in importance of all the “recent” sexual discoveries, female ejaculation is certainly more observably dramatic. Though female ejaculation is relatively new to modern sexology, tantric texts mentioned its existence thousands of years ago. In ancient times, female ejaculate was viewed as fine nectar that was prized by the erotic connoisseur for its invigorating qualities.

Female ejaculation involves the ejection of fluid gushing, squirting, seeping, spurting, or flowing through the urethra, most often, though not always at the moment of orgasm. It seems to have no lubricating significance otherwise it would be produced earlier in the arousal process. One of the amazing characteristics of female ejaculate is the copious amount of fluid that some women release. As an example, my lover, who admittedly has a strong sexual capacity, produces as much as a cupful at a time. Quite often she has literally soaked the bedding, and we were left regretting our failure to have placed towels down before our sexual play began ---- especially after having just washed the bedding. Scientific research has not yet identified any specific purpose this fluid might serve other than shear sexual pleasure. Unfortunately, since sexual pleasure is not given much credence in our sex-negative, somewhat uptight Judeo-Christian culture, apparently there is not much incentive for male scientists to concern themselves with it. While male ejaculate is called semen, female ejaculate apparently doesn’t even warrant a name, and so, it has pretty much vanished from most scientific texts. Not surprisingly, its existence was soon denied.

Disregarding the many colorful descriptions of female ejaculation in both medical and popular literature throughout history, many contemporary sexologists have dismissed the phenomenon, often incorrectly diagnosing it as “urinary stress incontinence.” Of course, if they had taken the trouble to carefully examine the ejaculate, they would have noticed that it doesn’t look or smell anything like urine. Furthermore, it is difficult to explain why women who ejaculate tend to have unusually strong pubococcygeus (PC) muscles, while urinary stress incontinence is associated with weak, flabby PC muscles. It’s hard to believe that these contradictions could go unnoticed by doctors who are presumably trained in the scientific method, but when it comes to sex, apparently even the most logical minds can cease to function.

For example, Masters and Johnson wrote that female ejaculation was “an erroneous, but widespread concept.” Earlier, Kinsey had maintained, “since the prostate gland and the seminal vesicles are only vestigial structures in the female, she does not actually ejaculate.” Even Germaine Greer, a prominent voice in the women’s liberation movement of the 70’s asserted that, “although the notion of female ejaculation has a prestigious history, it is utterly fanciful.”

Most likely the reason that so many authorities have doubted the existence of female ejaculation is that while it’s a highly noticeable phenomenon, most have never personally observed it. After all, it’s estimated that only about 40% of the women surveyed have ever ejaculated. There are several contributing factors. Though some women report they can ejaculate from clitoral stimulation alone, the vast majority of women require strong G-spot stimulation for thirty minutes, or even an hour or more, before they release the nectar. This requires either a lover with great staying power, or someone willing to provide a lengthy G-spot massage. If, however, these requirements are met, I believe any healthy, sexually open and receptive woman can ejaculate.

I think it’s safe bet to predict that as more women become conscious of their expanded sexual potential, the incidence of female ejaculation will surely increase. There are now many “closet ejaculators” coming out to share their stories with friends. In fact, here in the San Francisco Bay area where I live, I know of two groups of women who get together on a regular basis to share G-spot massage with each other. There are also several sexually explicit videos made by women to teach the “sisterhood” how to ejaculate. There is even one in which I demonstrate my own G-spot massage technique with a woman who responds by ejaculating several times. It can be seen on Joseph Kramer’s instructional video, “The Best of Vulva Massage,” and also on Deborah Sundhal’s, “Tantric Journey Into Female Orgasm.”

It should be noted that women cannot ejaculate on command. They can attempt to do it if they are in a high state of arousal by pushing out, or bearing down, as if they were giving birth. However, an ejaculation will only happen in its own time since it is not directed by the mind, but by the intelligence of the body. My lover maintains that the push-outs are an involuntary response to her arousal, but that sometimes she intentionally initiates the bearing down process when she feels that the release is about to happen. Nevertheless, we can all agree that a reliable method of facilitating female ejaculation is to massage the G-spot lovingly while encouraging an attitude of surrender and letting go. Sometimes, though, it may take a series of G-spot massage sessions before a woman can begin ejaculating on a regular basis.

It’s important to make the point that many women who do not yet ejaculate can experience completely fulfilling orgasms. And, just as a woman can orgasm without ejaculating she can also ejaculate without having an orgasm. While there are many women who experience orgasm and ejaculation together, many women do not. Some women report that they ejaculate every time they make love ---- others only occasionally. Some women ejaculate with certain partners, but not with others, and in certain positions, but not in others. A few women have detected a cyclical pattern, possibly related to the phases of their menstrual cycle. One thing is certain, there must not be any pressure on a woman to perform in any particular way. The best perspective for a man to hold is that it’s great if you do, and it’s great if you don’t. Of course, the same can be said about orgasm. Women, like men, respond best to heartfelt expressions of love and caring rather than expectations and performance demands.

Recent research has discovered both the biological origin and the chemical makeup of female ejaculate. In virtually all the studies, researchers found significant differences between the ejaculate and the urine of subjects. Not surprisingly, in some instances, the female ejaculate was found to be extraordinarily similar to male prostate fluid and was thought to originate from the female equivalent of the prostate gland known as the urethral glands that surround the female urethra.

Dr, Gary Shubach was determined to establish the origin of the fluids that women ejaculate. His subjects were seven women who regularly ejaculated. He catheterized these women in order to collect any fluid coming from the bladder while they masturbated themselves to orgasm and ejaculation. He found that more than 95% of the fluid that the women expelled during sexual arousal originated in the bladder and passed through the urethra. However, the ejaculatory fluid proved to be significantly different from the urine samples that Dr. Shubach collected prior to arousal. Dr. Shubach concluded that female ejaculate is “an altered form of urine,” and that the body changes the chemical composition of this fluid during sexual excitement. Some women were also observed to secrete a thicker, milky, semen-like fluid from the urethral glands. So it would appear that the ejaculatory fluid originates not from either the bladder or the urethral glands, but from both.

What is certain is that female ejaculate does not have the color, taste, or smell of urine. It has been variously described as colorless, clear, or milky, but no woman, no matter how much she was afraid that she was urinating, has ever described the fluid as yellow in color. It is definitely not what we know to be urine! Yet, many women who ejaculate report that they were embarrassed to think that they might have urinated, and sadly, some of these women learned to suppress their own enjoyment of nature’s sexy gift.

Attitudes about bodily fluids ---- specifically female ejaculate ---- vary from disgust and revulsion to appreciation and unconditional acceptance. As far as I am concerned, my lover’s secretions are a natural turn-on that represents her way of surrendering control and letting go. That’s what I find so exciting. That being said, it was a shock for me to read in the book, “The G-Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality,” that many women are humiliated by partners who are critical about the release of their sexual fluids. No wonder some women learn to suppress their orgasms. For example, one woman’s boyfriend was so disgusted by her “urinating” during orgasm that he left her. Thinking there was something wrong with her, she consulted a male physician. He compounded the problem by suggesting she had “a physiological problem experienced by many women who lose control of their bladder during orgasm.” Because of that misguided diagnosis, she avoided sexual contact for years and spent much time and money on psychological counseling.

One of the saddest stories in the book is as follows:

"I couldn’t have relations with my husband without wetting my bed. My husband was no help. He kept telling me to go to the bathroom before I come to bed. After a divorce and a change of partners, I was horrified when my new man also accused me of urinating on him."

Happily, there were also reports from women whose sexual relationships were seemingly enhanced by their ejaculations. One woman who had been married for thirty-eight years wrote:

"Over the years I have ejaculated often. I have been a virtual geyser of fluids, enough to wet the bed, different from lubrication, with a distinctive odor. It usually occurs while I’m on top. Rather than disturbing us, my husband and I have always related to this phenomenon as heightened pleasure, often accompanied by multiple orgasms for both of us. I always assumed naively that other women were having similar experiences."

Now that the word is out about female ejaculation, we can hope to see a change in attitude with more people enjoying this gift with gratitude and appreciation. For myself, whenever I have the chance, I always drink deeply of it. My own experience tells me that even a little taste serves as a powerful health tonic that heightens my senses and rejuvenates me. Oh, one more thing, as a pro-feminist man, and as a show of love and appreciation for my lover, I always volunteer to sleep on the wet spot. It's a very small price to pay! Don't you agree?