Fatherhood and history often repeats itself. I woke up this morning with an old Harry Chapin song from back in the 70’s playing in my head. The song is called “Cats in the Cradle" and the lyrics that stuck in my head and keep playing over again go something like this….
“My child arrived just the other day
He came into the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk when I was away
And he was talkin’ fore I knew it, and as he grew
He’d say, “I’m gonna be like you, dad
You know I’m gonna be like you…
I’ve long since retired my son moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind”
He said, “I’d like to Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job’s a hassle and the kids have the flu
But it’s sure nice talking to you, Dad
It’s been sure nice talking to you.
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He’d grown up just like me
My boy was just like me.”
If I had known then (when I first heard those lyrics) what I know now, I would have understood that it doesn’t matter whether you believe you’ve had the best father in the world or the worst. Whatever story you tell yourself becomes your past, present, and future. What you believe is who he becomes regardless of who he really is. And, if you tell yourself something long enough it becomes a fact.
Sometimes it’s hard to separate the facts from the story we tell ourselves.
My bet is that at one time or another every son or daughter would have loved to have a father available 24/7, providing unconditional love and acceptance, and offering immediate forgiveness. Fathers like that don’t exist simply because we are human.
So unless and until you CONSCIOUSLY choose every moment of the day who YOU want to be and become that instead of doing your best NOT TO BECOME who your father is, was, or has done, then fatherhood and history will repeat itself for more than just one generation.
That said I’d like to ask you ask this question…
If you are spending your life doing your dead level best not to be, do or become who you believe who your Father is, was, or what he has done wouldn't it be better to just BE WHO YOU ARE INSTEAD?
What I do know now that I’m sharing with you today is this.
Regardless whether you believe you had the BEST FATHER or the WORST FATHER ever YOU have the option to decide how to show up and BE WHO YOU ARE in your relationship with your father.
Unconditional love and acceptance, forgiveness, and the gift of time with you are four gifts you can give BOTH yourself and your dad on this Father’s Day AND every day throughout the year.
Those gifts will instantly, dramatically, and irrevocably transform your relationship with your dad. And, will ensure that history repeats itself in a powerful, positive, and profound way. Relationships are like a boomerang. What you give comes right back and has the potential to transform generations.
Nancy Philpott R.N, Emotional Health Coach, and Consulting Hypnotist, believes the power to transform our emotions, health, and our destiny is waiting within each of us. Nancy offers individual and group coaching programs. Go Now to http://www. EmotionalHealthCoaches.com and learn more about Nancy's FREE “Emotional Health Secrets to Reprogram Your Emotions ”webinars. Visit http://www. EmotionalHealthCoaches.com and find self help for depression and anxiety
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