Facing Fear

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."
~Eleanor Roosevelt

I was twenty-three years old when I had my daughter and twenty-five when I had my son. My husband, at the time, and I had a pretty hefty mortgage and the NOW attitude. We wanted everything that our parents had right then; new furniture, new lawn mower, new everything and so we had some crazy outlandish credit card payments, which in turn created a huge debt. When the Christmas holiday came upon us and I looked at our bank account, only to realize we had no money to buy gifts, I did what most would do - I gave into fear. I cried and I blamed everybody else for being broke. After a few days of realizing that anger and fear wasn't helping make the debt go down, I took action. I was already working full time and didn't want to take on another part time job outside of the home that would pull me away from the kids. It was then that I began my business Sent By Santa (www.sentbysanta.net). I utilized my love of writing, my love of Christmas, my love of kids and wrapped it into a business that helped decrease my debt, purchase some Christmas gifts along with assist a charity. It definately wasn't a get rich quick business, but it fulfilled its purpose more than I ever imagined.

That first year, in 1997, I received an order from a father. On the order form he explained that his son, Luke, was petrified to go to school because he was experiencing a case of bullying. Along with that, Luke had lost his mom to cancer that year and he wanted to know if perhaps 'Santa' could help. I sat in front of the computer screen wishing that I could wave a magic wand and erase all the pain from Luke and realized that wouldn't help anyhow. As painful as it was, this was a lesson for Luke to face. I wrote the letter and talked about courage to this young 8 year old. I told him that running away from the situation wouldn't solve anything and he needed to know that he could go to others who could help (his mom in heaven, his dad, school, etc). In the letter I included a trinket and asked him to put it in his pocket and whenever he doubted himself, to touch the trinket and it would act as a reminder of everybody pulling for him; from this side and the Other Side. On a side note, I asked a school psychologist to approve the letter before I sent it and the letter was met with a nod and a few tears. I didn't hear anything from Luke or his father until the following year when I received a note from both thanking me (aka Santa) for helping and letting me know that Luke faced his bully. He faced his fear. I thought that would be the last I would hear from either of them.

Luke turned 18 years old last year and graduated High School. I received his announcement along with a short note that simply read - "Elf Kristy, words cannot express what the one simple Letter From Santa gave to me at a time when I thought I was so alone. I didn't have my mom, my dad was grieving, and I was being beaten up every day by a bully. At first I was angry that Santa couldn't help, but just as you had told me to, I put the snowflake you gave me into my pocket and whenever I felt alone, I would reach for it. That simple act helped me to realize that I wasn't alone in this world and I became bigger than the fear itself. Thank you."

Are you allowing fear to control your life? Are you turning your fear into worry which then roots itself into your subconcious and plays over and over and over? You may have lost your job and fear that you won't get another or will be desolate. You may have lost your relationship and fear that the window of opportunity is gone to build new relationships. Ralph Waldo Emerson states, "Don't waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour's duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it."

Suggestions when you are Facing Fear:

1. Meditate
2. Take three deep breathes in and out and release the fear.
3. Pray
4. Write a letter to your guides or the guides of the 'opposing' person. Then burn it. With the smoke, see the problems going to someone else who can assist.
5. Laugh
6. Brainstorm

So when you begin to experience fear, use it to your advantage. Instead of cowering away from what frightens you, think it a sign on what you are supposed to work on and regain your power. Fear merely tells you that you have to take action. As soon as you feel that fear creep in, take a few deep breathes and then start brainstorming ways to get out of it. You will be surprised how inspired you will feel once you realize that you are larger than fear itself. Like I always say - we are never stuck unless we think ourselves stuck.

Luke started college this year and is hoping to go into psychology. And for me, I still write Santa Letters and have realized that my own fear resulted in lessons which are truly invaluable and irreplaceable.

"There are four ways you can handle fear. You can go over it, under it, or around it. But if you are ever to put fear behind you, you must walk straight through it. Once you put fear behind you, leave it there."
-Donna A. Favors