DOES HE REALLY LOVE YOU?

You remember the scene, yellow daisy in hand, the girl is picking petals off one at a time reciting “He loves me, He loves me not, He loves me...” and hoping for the luck of the draw. Relationships can feel like this wondering if he really does love you at all. How will you know for sure?

As a Guy Spy into the Male Mind, I help women understand why men behave the way they do. Just as guys may be into sports, music, cars, etc they also have their own way of enjoying relationships.

Guys don't show love the way girls do. Guys are generally not content with intense emotions. Since they were little boys they were trained to not show weakness, pain or fear. They weren't given the luxury to cry in front of others. So why, as they become men are women so surprised that they won't openly reveal their inner most feelings? I'm not saying they don't feel the intensity of love but as an act of self preservation guys will often times keep it under wraps to try to stay in control of those emotions.

Something for women to consider is that your partner may be displaying his love to you in ways you never noticed. You may be in the habit of receiving love by someone bringing you flowers or giving you gifts or poems which is wonderful, but if your current love is not wired like that he may be showing you his affections through conversation or touch. Part of the haziness in discerning where he is at could be due to the fact that you are looking for love to be displayed in a certain way and it's not.

Ascertain how he expresses himself then explore how you articulate and receive love. People usually show love to others in the way they want love shown to them. If you grew up in a family that hugged frequently, you probably ache for touch. If you were appreciated through verbal expression during childhood you may be craving communication and dialog to feel loved.

If you're not sure what love language connects best with him, take time to observe. He may not be a big talker but holding his hand during a stressful time may mean the world to him! This will open your eyes to see clearly. Perhaps he has been expressing his love for you all along unrecognized by you.

Understand that this is not an area up for examination with the purpose to change him, but rather a time to see more clearly so you can enjoy him for who he is. So often girls want to talk about things with the guy when really it is best to let him be comfortable in expressing without too much comment. Understand that him opening up at all could be a whole new experience for him, so ease into it and allow him to feel safe in this uncharted territory.

Relationships are never about changing the other person, but can be great opportunities to grow individually and learn how to make the best of the time together.