Dating Divorced Men ~ The Real Mission Impossible?

If you choose to take on this mission, you must know before entering the territory that the terrain can be a very challenging. The agents of change will manifest in the dark and the baggage has not necessarily been left at the terminal. You will encounter emotional assaults from Agent “Ex” whether directly or through psychological warfare. The instructions in this portfolio are for your eyes only and will self destruct should you not choose to accept this mission.

Sometimes women encounter opportunities on roads they have never traveled. Dating a divorced man can be a wonderful adventure for love and romance, but it can also be a difficult proposition. As the Heart Protector of Women I feel I would be doing them a great dis-service if I did not offer both the pros and cons of such an undertaking.

So lets for a moment pretend you are the Special Agent of Love on a mission to determine whether the target in question is the right man for the job. Before allowing him to participate in any undercover operations, you must determine if he is the one worthy of your time, attention and affections. My intelligence department has provided you with the following list.

1. Learn Everything You Can About the Divorced Man
Communication is key to every relationship, but allowing the man who has gone through a failed marriage the time and space to talk with you is the most important element in this assignment. When he opens his mouth listen for the clues. Are there children? Is he strapped financially because of child support or alimony? Is he angry and bitter toward his ex? Is he seeing you on the rebound? Has he had time to heal? Has he been through his own personal Hero’s Journey of intimacy? Let him do the talking without you questioning him relentlessly. When he is given the place to do that, the things that are biggest on his heart will surface to the conversation as long as you don’t steer him specifically in that direction.

2. Is The Ex His Adversary?
It is possible for a divorced man in conversation to treat his ex-wife with respect without that loving feeling percolating. A mature man who has emotionally experienced closure in his marriage is able to have discussions about the past wife without bitterness and harsh references. If he is still painting her as the villain he may still be wounded and harboring feelings for her that he needs to reconcile on his own. You can not do this for him.

3. Are There Children in Your Future?
If the divorced man has children, know up front you will at some point be affected by this. Are you ready and willing to share your time with them? If so, be prepared for comparisons to mom and brace yourself for rejection. They may still have secret desires for their parents to get back together, so don’t let those potential conversations broadside you emotionally. Don’t try to be an instant friend but rather let them warm up to you. You may discover this Mommy Thing is not your cup of tea of after all. And if it does feel right, let the relationship with the children unfold on it’s own. This is not something that can ever be rushed.

4. Does He Have a Swiss Bank Account?

To be continued...... To find out more about dating divorced men and the clues to look for while deciding if this is the right man for you, be sure to read:Dating Divorced Men ~ The Real Mission Impossible? Part II