It is often said that human beings are ‘social animals’ and this is because they are interdependent. So while one may see themselves as being an individual, this is not the complete truth.

The person they have come to be is the result of the experiences they have had with others and in order of them to maintain the identity, they will need to have the right experiences. This means that if one was to live in isolation, their sense of self would soon start to disappear.


It is therefore vital that one not only reaches out to others, but that they also respond when other people reach out them. Another way to describe this would be to say that one can’t just take in life, they also have to give.

If one was to only take from others, they would be seen as selfish and people would avoid them. Whereas, if one was to only give to others, they would end up being walked over and they would have no energy.


However, just because someone is there for others, it doesn’t mean that they are actually interested in them. They could come across as being interested, but it could simply be a way for them to get what they want.

This means their intentions are not clear and that they have an ulterior motive. At first, people might not notice, but as time passes, their true colours will gradually appear.

The Experience

One could ask how another person is, what they have been up to or how they are getting on with something. After hearing this, the other person could be only too happy to share this information with them and it could cause them to believe that the other person is interested in what they have to say.

Now, if one has an ulterior motive, they will be asking these questions in order to get a certain response. It then doesn’t matter what the other person says, as long as one creates the right impression.

False Empathy

If one was to place their attention on how they behave, they could come to believe that they have empathy. However, appearances are often deceiving and while their behaviour might look right, it doesn’t mean they have empathy.

It could be something they have learnt over the years and this means that it is just a technique that they apply to achieve their desired outcome. Their true intentions could be revealed due to them being inconsistent or the other person might sense what is happening.

Real Empathy

When one is interested in others, it doesn’t mean they won’t have a reason, but what it does mean is that it won’t be an act. It will be who they are as opposed to something they do.

It could then be said that their interest in other people is not only coming from their mind, it is also coming from their heart. And this means that while behaving in this way will have a positive influence on their life, this is not the only reason why they do it.

A Different Experience

This person is interested in other people’s needs, feelings and preferences. When they interact, they are putting their own experience to one side and their attention is on the other person.

And because they are genuinely interested, the other person will know that it is not an act. If they can’t accept one’s intentions, it could be due to what is taking place within them.

Reaching Out

However, if they are able to accept that the other person cares, it may lead to one of two outcomes. If they already know the other person, it will affirm the relationship they have or it could become even stronger.

When it relates to someone they don’t know, it could be the start of a new relationship. Here, one might end up with a new friend, client or lover, for instance.

It Goes Further

Taking an interest in others and caring about what they have to say will also benefit people they don’t meet. This is because when one feels as though they matter, they will be more likely to treat others in the same way.

It then becomes a ripple effect and one will never know how much of a difference they have made. There is then the impact this has one’s life, the impact it has on the people they meet and how these people go on to treat others.


If one finds it easy to empathise with others, then this is going to be normal for them. Yet if they don’t, they will have to develop this ability. One can start off by imagining what it would be like to be in the other person’s shoes.

This will give them a sense of what they are going through and therefore, what one can say to them. And the more one does this, the easier it will be for them to connect with another’s experience.

It will be a lot easier for one to do this if they are in touch with their emotions and their heart. So if one is not in touch with this part of themselves, they might need to work with a therapist, healer and/or a support group.

Author's Bio: 

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include "A Dialogue With The Heart" and "Communication Made Easy."

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