Choosing from Ego or Choosing from Our True Self
From "Fearproof Your Life"

Early on in our lives, most of us unknowingly chose to identify with our beliefs, memories, and habits—our egos. As we learned and accepted a limited view of ourselves based on others’ opinions of us and our own conclusions, we created an identity based on these beliefs. Seeing ourselves in this limited way led many of us to make the rest of our choices in life based on our limited belief systems rather than on the unlimited wisdom of our true Self. “That’s just the way I am, that’s my personality.” Whenever we make choices from the separated state of the ego, we inevitably make choices that take us out of balance with ourselves, each other, and the world around us. It is no wonder that so many human beings live lives of fear, unhappiness, boredom, and discontent. In my own life, as I became an adult I became increasingly serious, heavy hearted, and stressed. I lost the lighthearted innocence of my youth and the capacity to see beauty and unlimited possibilities.

The good news is that we all have the power to re-choose our lives. We can re-choose to live wholeheartedly from our true Selves. In so doing, we set in motion a new level of awareness of the infinite set of choices that come from the abundance of possibilities within each of us. This process may begin with our recognizing that we are stuck in our habitual belief system and choosing not to accept it. If we then choose “the other”—that is, our true Self—we will be open to discover what comes to mind. We will begin to develop an ear for when a thought is coming from the limited ego self or if it has the ring of truth and wisdom that is characteristic of our true Self.

As discussed in the last chapter, we start to listen to the guidance system of our feelings, which lets us know where we are coming from—from fear or from love. Each time we have a thought and begin to entertain it as a reality or possibility, the thought triggers a chain reaction of cascading chemical reactions called emotions. These emotions, in turn, trigger associations to our memories, further reinforcing the emotional reaction. As a result, our thoughts and feelings can begin to spin out of control. As this happens, our awareness level drops and we project our out-of-control thoughts onto the circumstances we are in. The key is to recognize the quality of our emotions. Recognizing the quality of our emotions enables us to enter the state of the observer—an objective awareness of our moment-to-moment use of thought. In other words, we regain consciousness and are able to pull back from our emotional reactions and thoughts.

Each choice we make from this aware state of the observer gives us additional feedback on the quality of the results of our choices. This observer state is emotionally neutral; it is objective. Thus it helps us to hone in on the power we have of making wiser and more intelligent choices. The more we make conscious choices that are in alignment with our true Selves, the more we realize the magnitude of our power as creators. As we do this, we return to our childlike view of the world—fresh and awe inspiring, but with the experience and knowledge base that comes from living our lives in the world.

When we realize our power to choose our experience, we no longer feel overwhelmed and powerless when watching the cable news or, for that matter, confronting any event in our lives.

Initially, when we become aware that we have a choice, we must be careful not to fill our heads with our preconceived notions of what we believe would be a wise choice. Instead, we simply choose not to accept the old habit and leave some space for a new idea to enter. Thus we allow some room for the unknown to do its work. Eventually, thoughts of wisdom will begin to flow to us naturally.

Author's Bio: 

Joe Bailey’s life purpose is to help people find true happiness and peace of mind. Towards this end, he studied psychology at the undergraduate and graduate levels, eventually becoming a licensed psychologist. For the past thirty years, Joe’s desire to understand the connection between the psychological, physical and spiritual facets of human beings has pulled him into a deeper understanding of the whole person and away from the current fragmented view. His search led to a health-based approach to counseling, prevention programs, workplace wellness and the attainment of a personal life of peace, joy and fulfillment for all people. Learn more about Joe on his EXPERT page at