Ascension & Leaving The Matrix, Part 3: Why Am I Still Here?

This is Part 3 in my series of articles on leaving the matrix. For those of you who don’t know what I mean when I say “matrix,” I am referring to the sets of beliefs that most people have been functioning within in our culture here in the United States. This set of beliefs is also worldwide, in some respects, in certain areas of life, in certain countries; however, since I have lived in the U.S. all of my life and I was born here, I am not really qualified to comment too much about beliefs in other cultures. This set of beliefs creates certain feelings, mostly fear feelings, which are often submerged within oneself so that fears are not consciously recognized. But people act on such subconscious, and sometimes conscious, fears, and create out of those fears a culture and a system, and certain types of actions, relationships, schooling, government, and work-related cultures. Because these cultures and systems and behaviors are, for the most part, based on false beliefs that have been taught to people for centuries and passed down through the generations, and because these beliefs are ultimately based on fears that are not true, the culture, and people’s lives and relationships, are suffering. Anytime fear exists, this leaves it wide open for the manipulators, controllers and dark forces to step and push on people’s fears and insecurities so as to control their behaviors and lead people in certain kinds of behaviors and directions in life that they want them to be in. I would say a very large percentage of the U.S. and the world population has ended up succumbing to these manipulations, controls and fears, and that is why the world is in such a mess today and why there is so much crime, poverty, addictions, and mental illness going on. I believe that if this state of world fear and manipulation consciousness continues on as is, unchecked and unhealed in people, that in about 10 years there will be a serious economic collapse. This is because the current systems and beliefs that are shared by so many people are not working. The U.S. has the best systems in the world and still operates on various basic Christian beliefs, to at least a certain extent, and because the U.S. people still believe in basic freedoms and the right to choose your own path in life, the U.S. is still prospering more than most countries; however, the U.S. itself is being manipulated by many dark forces and false beliefs, just the same, and so the U.S. has deteriorated quite a bit over the years and it is probably headed for economic collapse, probably in 10 years, as well. We can pray that this doesn’t happen. We can stay in the matrix (U.S. culture and society and work) and do our best to prevent it from happening, or to at least help those who have the potential and ability to get themselves out of the matrix at some point.

My first two articles in this series about leaving the matrix were basically talking to those people who, inside of themselves, in their beliefs, feelings and actions, are now out of this matrix of false beliefs. They are at the juncture where they are ready to leave the matrix in their outer world because they have fully left it forevermore in their inner world. I, myself, believed that I was at that point, as well, but then I found I wasn’t. And so, this article will be talking to those who are close to leaving the matrix, but aren’t quite there yet. That’s me, and many others.

I’m going to talk about this based on myself and my own life, in the first person, as it’s easiest to explain it all that way.

For many years now, I have had certain types of desires and goals for myself and for my life. Those visions, though I still have them say, 30 years later, have still not yet manifested in my outer world. Those goals and visions are of a life separate from the matrix, and involve living outside of usual societal norms and lifestyles, living out in the country somewhere, where it’s beautiful and peaceful, being totally self-sufficient and not dependent on or connected to the “system.” That involves growing my own organic produce, having wealth so that I don’t have to work in the system, living ecologically with solar and other nonmatrix methods that are healthy for me and the environment, and having joy and peace and doing what I’ve always dreamed of doing, and doing lots of writing of books and articles, doing my artwork, etc.

Okay, so why, if I believe in these dreams and goals, haven’t they manifested in my world? Because I grew up in the matrix and lived in it all my life. I’m still in it. I still have some false beliefs. I know I’m close to finishing up and being able to leave it all behind me. We don’t like to think we still have any false beliefs. We like to believe that since we can see all that the dark forces are doing, and because we know how to counteract it, that we are free now and ready to leave. But just as we think that, something else comes up for us to look at about ourselves and deal with in our life, and so the move out of the matrix to the country joyful life gets postponed, once again.

The matrix is extremely magnetic. Almost everything in it is false beliefs. The false beliefs around money and work are particularly magnetic and hard to heal within ourselves. It looks so impossible to be able to live like we want to live, since everything and everyone around us is matrix. We feel we can’t just go off and live in the country, as how would we survive, where does money come from for needed items and lifestyles? We conclude that wealth must be needed, but no one has ever told us we can have wealth without doing something within the matrix system. Someone gives us the wealth? Hah! Who that’s sane could believe such a preposterous idea? Create a utopialike community somewhere? Hah! Who could believe this could happen? Others have tried it before and mostly it didn’t work. (It didn’t work because we weren’t fully out of the matrix beliefs within ourselves and so our egos and insecurities and fears created interpersonal conflicts and financial failures in those communities we created).

So, anyway, getting back to me, I was getting so very close to leaving it all behind when I wrote those two articles, and I was so sure that any minute now I’d have my wealth, or my community I dreamed about, and I’d be gone. But it didn’t happen. Why? Well, actually, just this morning, I began to see why. I wasn’t done yet. I was still caught up in certain false programmings and enculturization around work. I was having some problems at work yesterday. I was feeling unclear and emotional. I wanted desperately to clear myself (which I usually am able to do), but this time I just couldn’t clear it. I was searching for a good solution to something at work, but couldn’t seem to find it. The problem was actually about another person’s ways and insecurities, but it was affecting my ability to do my job properly, and that old problem was coming up again about my not being able to be promoted, to be able to do the type of work there that I really wanted to be doing, because my new boss had a certain enculturized way of looking at things. I won’t go into a lot of detail as to what it was all about because it doesn’t really matter. What matters is my feelings, beliefs, thoughts and reactions to all of this.

And that’s what you may need to see, too. It’s not so much about the situation that’s upsetting you, and that you can’t get what you want from people and within the situation. It’s mostly about how you think, believe and feel, not just about that situation, but in any situation within the matrix. Everyone in the matrix is, to some extent at least, “matrixlike.” They’ve all been falsely taught. So, here you are, trying to accomplish some sort of goal, at work, for instance, and no one there can see who you are and what all you can really do and what you want, due to their own inabilities to “see,” correctly “intuit,” and because of their own fears and insecurities. For example, you want a promotion, but your boss doesn’t want to promote you because she or he fears that you are ultimately after his or her job. Or, your boss believes you must have certain educational degrees before you should be thinking about doing such a new position and being promoted, even though you know you can easily and effectively do that job without those degrees. This is all matrix thinking. People have natural abilities, they learn things through life experiences, they learn things from God and Jesus (or by channeling ascended masters like Jesus), they read books, maybe they’ve taken a few classes in it and that was enough. It is a serious illusion that many people have that you have to take certain classes and get certain degrees to be able to effectively do certain jobs. In my field of social work, for instance, people didn’t always have to get social work degrees …. It used to be done mostly by churches, who believed that all you needed was a good heart and some natural abilities in that area and the ability to get and follow God’s divine guidance. You didn’t need a lot of psychology courses and sociology courses to do it. But the matrix stepped in and convinced people that all of this education was needed to do such work, and many believed this, even though many churches were still doing such “social work” without any education or degrees and those people just had open hearts, natural abilities, and were following God’s guidance in how to do it, and they were doing just fine without any interference from the matrix beliefs and requirements. Psychology is not needed to heal people’s minds and emotions….this is more quickly and easily accomplished just through God and channeling Jesus and ascended masters.

But here I am, working at a nonprofit whose people all are deeply embedded in the educational system, who firmly believe that to do such work, and particularly to be paid for doing it, requires all of this education. I have taken a few classes so far in sociology and psychology, and I can tell you that these classes do not help you that much in social work or in psychology work, plus many classes nowadays are filled with false beliefs that are not working. Psychology has gotten a lot darker and is not working even as well as it used to work, which wasn’t that much. Social work isn’t working, the education is making it worse, not better.

Anyway, off of my soapbox now. Here’s the real deal….you have to leave all of their dark fear=based systems….the educational system, the government system, the work system, etc. It’s all fear-based. But I’m not saying there isn’t some light still within all of it. There are some very lighted souls working in government…but they are surrounded by lots of dark or unenlightened souls; and so, just as it is in the work systems, these lighted souls are having lots of trouble trying to accomplish something because everyone around them is falsely programmed, insecure, ego-oriented, and believing in a system that’s mainly dark force created in the first place. Many people have good intentions and much light within them, but the matrix is slowly pulling them more and more into more and more darkness. Some souls, however, are learning and growing from this, and are ultimately advancing in the light rather than falling more out of the light. Then again, other souls who used to be very lighted have now fallen into lots of fears, guilts, angers and judgments and false beliefs due to dark force manipulations and controls.

So, anyway, seeing all of this, don’t focus too much on other people, just look at yourself. What do you feel, think and believe, and do, when you see all of this darkness all around you? Do you feel fear, frustration, anger, insecurity? Do you try to change people? Do you jump into these various dark systems and try to bring more light into them? Is this working?

Here’s the deal….and this is difficult to see…does God want and intend for you stay in the matrix for a while longer … because you are there to bring more light there? Or, does God want you to leave there and go live the life of joy and peace doing what you have always wanted to do? The way to know if you are done with the matrix is: do you still react emotionally to what goes on around you? Is there something dark forces are doing to hurt you or stop you that is affecting you negatively, in your thoughts, reactions and emotions? If so, then you need to heal yourself more, and you are not done with the matrix as yet. Or, are you able to bring more light to your workplace, and does God want you to stay within it to be an example of something for others there and have them grow from interacting with you? Many still do not understand nonjudgment, acceptance, and egoless ways, and when they see you, they see something they’ve never seen before in how you feel, think, believe and react, and then they wonder what it is you know or have that makes you so balanced and peaceful.

I know that ultimately, at some juncture, I will be leaving society here and living how I always have wanted to live. But when? That’s the question. And I am looking at my feelings and thoughts and reactions while I am still in the matrix, and then I see what I needed to learn and why I’m still here. I turn that around enough, and enough times, until I no longer react to any of it, it’s just egolessness, inner peace, acceptance of all that is and knowing that it’s perfect as it is, and feeling just love and peace wherever I am and whatever darkness I am seeing and dealing with around me.

I’m not there yet, but I’m certainly not where I used to be. I have changed and grown so much over the years. I’ve weathered a lot of heavy storms and I’m still standing, still growing, still progressing, still working. And when you’re in the midst of the storms, you can still feel fine. You can retain your light, your love, and your peace, living in the midst of people all around you who are very negative, very insane and even very darkened. I do this to a certain extent, a certain percentage of the time, like maybe 90% of the time. But it’s that other 10% that gets to me, and whatever it is that’s upsetting me, it’s all dark force instigated, and I’m not fully seeing it and getting it because if I were, I wouldn’t be feeling upset by whatever it is that the dark forces tried to pull against me and against my goals and desires.

If they falsely accuse you, let it go. If they won’t promote you, let it go. If your relationships didn’t work out, let it go. How do you let things go? Learn about yourself, understand what happened and why, don’t judge, just accept, and feel peaceful anyway. It isn’t easy, I’ll admit that. But you know you’ve done this many times, you know you see a lot, you know you’ve grown a lot. When you’re at the point where you are completely unmatrixlike and inner peaceful no matter what anyone does or how anyone else feels and acts, and no matter what happens to you that you don’t like, then you’re there…and then and only then are you out of the matrix.

We can create our own intentional communities outside of society and city and matrix. We can still be living in the U.S. (or wherever) and yet not be of it. The dark forces have made it very difficult to be able to do this, but it can still be done. God can help us to manifest it. God can stop the dark force attempts to stop us from doing it. Anything is possible to create with God’s help, prayer, inner shifting and healing, and through healing your false beliefs and matrixlike behaviors, thoughts and feelings.

It can be done. Many of us have this vision of living in a spiritually focused, enlightened community and society separate from the society we have lived in for a long time. It isn’t impossible, it isn’t just a silly dream or illusion, it can and will be done.

We all need to meet each other and get together with each other. Right now, I have no one, absolutely no one in my world who thinks and believes as I do; yet I know there are others out there like me. Sometimes I feel depressed by this loneliness, this lack of like-minded friends. Sometimes I feel depressed because I’m still not living the life I truly want to live out of the matrix. But then I shift back into joy at all that is good with me and with my current world, and I see my growth in it, and I’m glad to be who I am now and to know and see all that I know and see, even though it means I am very alone without kindred spirits with me, for a time. And it is just temporary, for a time. It’s just a season, it’s just another cycle of growth and experience, and it’s all perfect and good and God knows this, too.

Be happy where you are, anyway. You’ll know when it’s time to leave it all because you’ll feel more peaceful, and you’ll “see” everything, not just some things, and circumstances and people will come into your life that enable you to leave and live the lifestyle you have craved, to be with kindred spirits you have desired to be in your life.

You’ll know it’s time because the nonmatrix place, people and lifestyle will suddenly come to you, or you’ll know where to go to find it and have the ability, time, money and means to get there. And you’ll feel it is right, there won’t be any questions or doubts, you’ll just know they are the right people, that it is the place for you, and it’s all you’ve ever really wanted.

But if it has anything of the matrix within it, see that, and know it isn’t your utopia, just yet. It may just be another growth experience. But don’t give up, hold your vision of a new life of joy and peace, and eventually your growth will lead you into it. Be grateful for all the growth and all the good you have. And if your situation is very dark and unpleasant, know it is just a season, and hold to your intentions to get out of it, and hold onto your intentions to do lightwork, and hold to your intentions to leave the matrix, and then you will never be just stuck there forever. You can do it! God can do it! Don’t let go of God, for without God’s help, you cannot accomplish it all. That’s part of the lesson of this life, that we cannot do it all without God’s help. So pray, pray a lot, pray everyday, pray about everything, and often. Don’t just pray when things are going really badly or in emergencies. Pray to God daily for guidance, insights, growth, as well as asking God to turn things around and fight your battles with the dark forces for you.

People have differing ideas about what and who God is. I still believe in the God of the Bible, plus I have had many many fruitful conversations with Jesus and I know he does exist and I know he is very very powerful.

One time I was counseling someone, and I asked him if he prays, and he said yes, he prays to “the universe.” I said, that’s why your prayers aren’t working. I said you need to pray to God. He did, and things turned around for him. He had been on the verge of homelessness and had been feeling a lot of fear and hopelessness. After that conversation, I saw him again a couple of weeks later and he had found a place to live, was talking optimistically and seemed much stronger. Praying to God does work.

Sometimes, though, instead of turning around a situation or getting a negative person out of your life, God’s answer to your prayer might be to keep you in that situation or with that person and then give you inner healings, growth, insights, which ultimately gets you out of that situation and moving on into your next growth experience.

At some point, though, the growth stops, the negatives stop, and you’re ascended into very high light quotients. Ascension has its levels of light. Ascension itself just means that you’ve attain a certain amount of truth and that you have no judgments of yourself or others. But then you start going up the ladder of ascension and are in the process of finding more truth, seeing more clearly, and healing yourself of all the false programmings and false perceptions. You are still going through growth, discernment lessons, etc., but you have no judgments because ascension is nonjudgment.

Well, I tend to be very long-winded, but that’s what all flowed out of me in this stream of channeling Christ consciousness in these moments. I get an inner insight and a feeling when it’s time to write something again. My recent challenges, and then working on stuff as I slept last night, and then waking up at the very time to watch Joyce Meyer on TV, and some things she said, and having seen her CD in my dreams last night….then this article began flowing through me and out to you.

I am not doing these articles to promote myself or to make any money. I have no personal growth or spiritual “business.” I just love imparting what I’ve learned to others who are relating to what I say, who are on a similar path with similar ascension goals. That’s why I have no bio page on selfgrowth.com. I have no business to promote. I am not looking for clients or people to heal or counsel. The healing and the counseling needs to come from God and Jesus. It has to come from within you. But I do strongly suggest that you watch Joyce Meyer, as she is a very highly evolved Christian and no matter what ascension level you may be on, she’ll usually say something that helps you, as we are all under attack and we all still have some illusions. She knows what the dark forces are doing and she knows what heals it within you, and she knows how God helps. She may still be a traditional Christian and not be into metaphysics or know what ascension is, but she still helps a lot of people a lot. She’s just about the only teacher I have to recommend at this time. You probably aren’t watching her because she’s too much of a traditional Christian, but look again, and watch how she counteracts everything the dark forces are trying to convince people of, and you’ll see she’s just amazing! Yes, she herself still has some matrixlike beliefs and ways and lifestyles, but don’t let that stop you from listening to her because she’s very unmatrixlike in so many ways!

Bye for now. Good luck, and keep up the good work and stay optimistic, no matter what darkness may be increasing in the world and around you now.

Oh…and you can send me comments and questions at zarlaleah@yahoo.com. I haven’t yet gone into that email address, which is new, to check if anyone has responded to my articles, but I will get on it soon. If there are hundreds of emails, though, it might take me a while to respond to all of them. We’ll see how it goes. But I do want to hear from you!!