Have you been feeling a bit dizzy lately? Does time feel like it’s been flying by faster than ever? Experiencing ringing in your ears? Seeing flashes of light or fleeting glimpses of things that aren’t there? If you’re not head-over heels in love, pregnant, or smokin’ da ganja, you may be going through what’s known as ascension symptoms. What are they, why are they happening, what do they mean, and will they ever go away? If you’d like answers to questions like these, the latest installment of Layman just might be the prescription you’ve been looking for.

Just like people, our planet is evolving. And because we live on it, whatever changes our world goes through, we’re going to go through too—whether we’re ready or not. Most of us are not. Because of this, we’re sort of being stretched outside of our comfort zone. This results in what I’ve dubbed spiritual growing pains, or ascension symptoms, as they’re more commonly known.

Back in June of 2010, I wrote about some of the symptoms I’d been experiencing personally or had heard about from others (see “Layman #18: Spiritual Growing Pains” http://thelaymansanswerstoeverything.com/?p=1415). In that article, I defined ascension symptoms simply as, “the side effects we feel as we stretch ourselves to keep up with a spiritually evolving world.” That’s the basic idea, but I’d like to expand more on this now as we are getting closer to karmageddon—the moment when we see whether we’ve grown enough to handle the new world, or still have a lot of work left to do.

It seems that the last several years has centered around the theme of letting go and I think that’s going to come to a head by the end of this year to make room for the new energy of 2013. The amount of discomfort that this may or may not bring about is directly proportional to how much you’re holding on to. But what do I mean by a theme of “letting go” and why is everything coming “to a head”?

All of this can get kind of confusing and esoteric so I think it’ll help if I return to an analogy I made in the “Spiritual Growing Pains” article—comparing time to a spinning record. “Like a record, time can move at one speed, but imagine that on this record there are lines going from the edge to the center, like slices of a pizza. As the needle on the record gets closer to the center, it would hit each line quicker and quicker.”

In the article, I go on to explain that these lines represent themes in history, and each time the needle hits the same line again, the same theme pops up as it applies to that time. (The theme of arrogance resulted in the sinking of the Titanic, the fall of the World Trade Center, the failing of the banks “too big to fail,” and the drilling screw ups of the oil industry too advanced to screw up.) “The themes are happening quicker and quicker because we are getting closer to the center of the record where the lines begin to converge. And once we hit the center, everything will happen at once.”

The purpose of these themes isn’t to punish us, but to help us to grow so we can be ready for the next level. Based on the recent themes of modesty and letting go, it would seem that in the world to come, those who are less arrogant and need fewer attachments and possessions in order to be happy will fare better than those who rely on ego and materialism for their self-worth.

This future world—or record to keep the analogy going—already exists right now. With a record, all the music that’s recorded on it always exists; it’s just that we only hear the music that’s playing. Time is just like this. Everything that’s ever happened, could happen, or will happen, already exists. But we are only experiencing the time of the present moment. We are only experiencing the music as it plays. As we move to the center of the record, the themes begin to come at us faster and faster, until, the record ends and a new one comes on. Modern-day science already accepts that our experience of time is illusionary. We just don’t think in this way because science is usually pretty crappy at providing understandable analogies (with the exception of Brian Greene’s Nova Specials ).

To help explain how you fit into this picture, imagine that there are three different kinds of people living on the spinning record with each experiencing the movement of time from different perspectives. The first kind of person is a spiritually heavy kind of person with a slower vibration. They are most focused on the physical aspects of their experience—money, possessions, appearance, status, etc. Let’s call this type of person a Snooki Boo Boo.

The Snooki Boo Boo lives on the record needle as it flows over the grooves of the record. Because it is so close to the physical record, it’s the only experience it knows and values. The music is all the Snooki Boo Boo cares about and its objective is to just enjoy it as it comes. Unfortunately for the Snooki Boo Boo however, the record skips every once in awhile. When this happens, the Snooki Boo Boo gets thrown off of the needle, gets injured, and has to find a way to climb back on again so it continue to experience life as it did before. Usually, this climb makes the Snooki Boo Boo stronger and so it’s better able to hold on when the record skips again. But eventually, the Snooki Boo Boo will regresses to its passive ways and fall off the needle once again the next time it skips.

The polar opposite of the Snooki Boo Boo is what we’ll call Dolly Llama. Dolly is an ascended master who is able to float above the center of the record. From this perspective, it can still hear the music of the record, but it isn’t as affected by it when it skips since it’s floating above it. Dolly has the added benefit of being able to see where the record is going and when skips may be coming. The downside for Dolly is that because she’s floating above the grooves, she doesn’t get the same physical sensations as the Snooki Boo Boo. Over time however, the pros definitely outweigh the cons. Unfortunately though, few of us are able to let go of the physical aspects of the record to float high enough to become full-fledged Dolly Llamas. Besides the actual Dalai Lama, there aren’t many who get to this level.

That leaves the third type of person, which we’ll call, the Halfling. Neither experiencing the full physical pleasures of the record, nor yet able to float above it all, the Halfling unfortunately gets to experience the worst of both worlds. Because the Halfling hovers a bit over the record sometimes, it can’t rely on the needle to simply carry it through life, and must instead work to keep up with the Snooki Boo Boos. If the Halfling were willing to let go of its physical experience, it could transform into a Dolly Llama and float all the time, but it isn’t willing or able to do so. Because it’s hovering a bit, the Halfling can sometimes spot upcoming skips in the record, but usually it’s putting too much effort into just keeping up with the pace of the record’s RPM to do anything about it and suffers the same fate as the Snooki Boo Boo.

When it trips on a skip, the Halfling tends to either focus on the physical aspect of the fall and how much more work it’s going to have to do to keep up now that it’s lost time and may be injured, or, it can ricochet off the record and float up higher if it grows from its challenging experience. Stuck between the material and spiritual realms, the Halfling diverts its energy between the two, requiring double the effort for half the result—and that result is usually just going around in circles. As you may have already guessed, you, me, and most spiritual people are Halflings. As such, we usually have the hardest challenges and the most severe ascension symptoms. The upside is that Halflings have the most potential for growth since Dolly Llamas are already ascended and Snooki Boo Boos rarely get off the ground.

When Halflings are able to grow, they float above the skips of the physical record and become like the Dolly Llamas. This higher level is where the next record is located. Anyone who remembers the ol’ automatic record player may recall that the next records were stacked above, ready to plop into place when the old record was complete. Floating near the upcoming record gives Dollys and Halflings a chance to experience the new grooves before they come into play, so there are less surprises. This record will also likely spin at a different RPM, or vibration, than the record that just played, so that also takes getting used to. In short, the higher you can float off the record, the easier your transition will be to the new recording. And while Snooki Boo Boos have been coasting along, they’ll have the hardest time adjusting to the new groove since the old record is the only one they’ve ever known.

How does any of this relate to ascension symptoms? Let’s just say that it’s time to face the music. Our old record is almost over and the songs from the new one are beginning to bleed through our consciousness. This feedback is what’s causing the ascension symptoms. The Snooki Boo Boos are too focused on the old record to hear it. The Dolly Llamas are already synchronized so aren’t as affected. That leaves us Halflings bearing the brunt of the symptoms.

So, what are these symptoms? There are many. A quick Google search will yield all kinds of sites with symptom lists. Some lists are long, others break them down into Top 10 lists of common ones. I can only write from my experience and what gets channeled through me. If you’ve been experiencing something that I don’t list here, feel free to check out some of these other lists which seem to have more generic symptoms. Usually, these symptoms are a sign that you are growing spiritually and that’s a good thing. Of course, any of these can be signs of other, more serious problems. So you should seek medical help if your symptoms have been prolonged or affecting your quality of life.

Tinnitus (Ringing In Your Ears)
Nearly everyone has experienced a ringing in the ears after a loud concert, fireworks, or temporarily out of the blue. As an ascension symptom though, it is continuous and goes on for weeks, months, years, or a lifetime. In the article “Your Body Is The Mirror of Your Life,” author Martin Brofman, Ph.D. writes about The Inner Sound: the sound heard in the ears “that does not depend upon something in the physical world. Some consider it a pathological condition. In some of the eastern traditions the ability to hear this is considered a necessary prerequisite to further spiritual growth.” Because the next dimension—or record—may be moving at a faster RPM, the bleed through that we are getting from it may sound like a high pitch. But once we can raise our personal RPMs or vibrations/consciousness, we will be in tune with this frequency and be able to hear its message clearly. (For more about raising your vibration, see my April 2012 “Answers to Everything” post “The Science of Raising Your Vibration” http://thelaymansanswerstoeverything.com/?p=1798). While I always used to get ringing in my ears from time to time, beginning in November of 2011, it became a permanent condition of my left ear. Interestingly, the left is often known as our spiritual or feeling side, so it would make sense that this side is more sensitive to feedback from beyond our reality. Then again, the bottle rocket that blew up near my left ear when I was in my twenties may also have had something to do with it. Why it’s manifesting now though, seems more than coincidental.

Fleeting Glimpses, Light Flashes, and Floaters
Ever see bright flashes of light in the dark, or little blobbies floating across your field of vision? These are normal conditions of the eye, but when they begin to happen more frequently, it can be a sign of a strained or detaching retina or ascension symptoms. I’ve been told by eye docs that despite my horrible myopia (usually a precursor of floaters and future issues), my retina is fine. Floaters became a frequent part of my visual experience around 2001. Seeing flashes of light began several years ago and I began seeing fleeting glimpses just this year. Fleeting glimpses are kind of creepy. You think you saw something move right next to you, but just as David Gilmour sings in “Comfortably Numb” you turn to look and it’s gone. Occasionally, I also see these glowing sea monkey type things, usually in groups of 3-7. They are almost a hybrid between the darkish floaters and the bright flashes of light. It’s similar to when you are staring at several bright bulbs for a while and then turn away and still see them, only, there isn’t any bright bulbs preceding their appearance. They sometimes take the form of geometric shapes like honeycombs or hexagons, which is interesting since these shapes seem to be popping up all over the place lately. Seeing just one really bright light out of nowhere is another experience I’ve had that I describe in detail in the “Spiritual Growing Pains” Layman post and it feels like the most powerful of the bunch. So, is all of this the result of spirits, eye defects, our imaginations? Just like hearing something that isn’t there, seeing something that isn’t there is likely the result of bleed through from the next dimension. Growing ourselves and speeding up our vibrations will likely make these messages more than eerie apparitions, but signs we can consciously follow. Only then will we be able to decipher the winning lottery numbers which floaters are trying to form for those of us who are spiritually advanced enough to see them. Of course, the lottery our soul wants us to win is the one that gets us into the next dimension, not Powerball.

Ocular Migraines and Dizziness
Imagine sitting at your computer and suddenly you see what looks like part of the screen getting pixilated, beginning to swirl around and expand until it covers a quarter to half of your field of vision. Only thing is, the swirling spectrum of color isn’t on the screen, it’s in your eye. It looks like a sparkly pinwheel, lasts for about a half-hour, and when it’s done leaves you with a splitting headache. If you’ve ever had this experience, you’ve had an ocular migraine, and it sucks. For me, I find I tend to get them when I’ve recently eaten dairy, poultry, or some other allergenic food. I’m usually also dehydrated and running on less sleep than usual. Oh yeah, it often occurs when I’m at the computer and in the spring or fall—allergy seasons. When I feel them coming on, I find that drinking a ton of water prevents it from getting bad and can lessen the blow of the inevitable headache. From what I’ve read about chakras being swirling balls of energy, the forms I see during ocular migraines look very similar. Related to ocular migraines is dizziness: dizziness when standing up too fast, dizziness from allergies, or dizziness just from being dizzy. Apart from the occasional ocular migraine and sinus headache, thankfully I haven’t experienced this too much. I do get brain fog a bit though, mostly from too much carbs methinks. I have heard about dizziness affecting others though. Much like trying to read in a moving car, I think dizziness is a result of our brain trying to adjust to a motion its only subtly detecting. As we’re experiencing life at one speed, yet being influenced by another, the brain can get confused, and hence, we get dizzy. I think breathing exercises and yoga can help if this is a common condition.

Fey and Floating Ink Tentacles
Ever since I was a kid, every once in awhile, usually before going to bed or waking up at night after a dream, I’d see thousands of tiny dots flying around like flies all around me. When I’d put on my glasses, they’d seem to get clearer, however, if I turned on the light, they’d disappear. Around Y2K, I also began seeing these swirly black tentacles—usually hovering around windows, that almost seemed to form out of these tiny dots. The first time I saw the black smoke monster on Lost, I got the chills because these tentacle things looked just like it—black ink swirling in water. While I thought for sure that this was my own, unique experience, it seems that many spiritually inclined peeps have seen these buggers. Someone even referred to them as fey—the particles that create our illusionary experience. Since I like to look at the world as a computer simulation (when I’m not comparing it to a record, but really, it’s pretty similar), this fey seem like the pixels that make up the computer screen. The woman who told me about the fey actually described them more as bubbles in a fish tank and said that if you stand up you might be able to see over the rim, as though they were forming some kind of field around you. I tried it, and it did kind of seem like that, but the pixilated screen analogy seems to fit better for me than a fish tank, though, those ideas are pretty similar. Either way, these dots do seem to be the particles that are creating our current experience. Perhaps there is a way to control them so that they can do our conscious bidding. Or maybe we have to wait for the next dimension for that. Either way, fey is pretty cool, even though at times I get the sense that they are of a dark energy. It’s as though the light sparks and flashes are the angels and the dark spots and tentacles are the demons. If angels are what we think of as light energy and demons as physical, heavy energy, there could be something to this since it probably takes both kinds to create our world, just as it takes a positive and negative current to light a light bulb.

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Author's Bio: 

Marc Oromaner is a spiritual author and speaker who teaches how we can discover our destiny using clues found in the media and in our lives. His book, "The Myth of Lost" (www.themythoflost.com) deciphers the hidden wisdom of the hit TV show and explains how we can use this wisdom to overcome our own challenges.

Marc's twenty years of experience working in advertising and promotion has given him a unique insight into what makes products--and people--tick. He graduated from Ithaca College with a degree in Television & Radio and went on to complete a two-year advertising copywriter program at The Creative Circus in Atlanta. Working in on-air promotions at Lifetime Television and CBS News, and then in advertising with clients such as NASA, The New York Botanical Garden, and Affinia Hotels, Marc developed a talent for uncovering the soul of a brand. This skill was sharpened after he began studying at The Kabbalah Centre in New York and exploring many other spiritual philosophies including The Law of Attraction.

Today, Marc lives in New York City where he combines his background in advertising and spirituality to help people and brands find their path in an increasingly convoluted world. His blog, "The Layman's Answers To Everything" (http://thelaymansanswerstoeverything.com/) points out the patterns that run through all great stories including our own. These patterns are clues which are meant to guide us towards a life full of love, light, and fulfillment.