Depression Lived

Today I sit at my computer desperately fishig for input of hope and inspiration, and practical ideas to further battle this "Thorn in My Side" called depression.

I read some very good articles written my people who, to my surprise, were and are going through the same feelings I am and want to overcome them so that they don't rule their lives. After reading an article by a Mr. Seinfield speaking about the "invisible path", I am so moved to share my experiences, trial and errors that I have overcome over my 51, almost 52 years of life on this earth.

I believe that one must never, never quit seeking a way out of the traps they are convinced they are hopelessly caught in. I do believe we all do ultimately call the shots on our live situations and we do have the power to alter their course, either for good or bad or both. To come to this realization is the hardest thing one can do while depressed. I have gotten drug therapy, talk therapy, and sought and am seeking God.

Lately I have come to the conclusion that something is missing and I don't know what it is. I have ideas, but am suspicious of these ideas as I have had them before to no avail.

I believe we are encouraged by our creator to seek out the life we are destined to live, and if we refuse to do this, it only adds to our misery.

I believe we do need at least 1 or 2 people in our lives to help us to come to this realization--maybe they are angels that we don't see--maybe they are angels that we do see.

Why our mind keeps us from walking out a door to freedom and life is a question many people have attempted to answer. I am now thinking that it's not so important why, but how to we overcome this self-imposed parilzysis. Yes folks, lets start to look at it----SELF IMPOSED. I think that it's not a fair statement sometimes. After all our jobs, kids, financial status, present health conditions, spouses and last but not least, our poor pathetic childhoods have done this to us, certainly not OUR SELVES!!

Eventually, even if its on our death bed we have to come to the realization that it is ourselves that have chosen how we will live and how we will die.

My hope and prayer is that I can tap into the strength that God gives me to explore more progressively this theory. I also hope and pray that some of you that read this article will consider looking at what we do to ourselves, buy the decisions we make. I also hope you will find the guts to stop blaming everything else and ask for help for the God given right to start running, even in tiny steps, your own life.

Respectfully Submitted

Ms. Finley K. Torelli