Mangement Leadership for the New Millennium

In a work force of winners, managers think like leaders. They mentor and coach others to bring out their best and encourage them to stretch their capabilities.

Not long ago, I overheard an exchange between a friend and his teenage son. The boy wanted to borrow the family car to attend a special event in a nearby town. It meant his father would have to take the bus to work and reschedule a meeting with a potential customer. After the discussion, the father agreed to let his son have the car -- provided he would put in eight hours cleaning the garage the following Saturday. "That way," the father asserted cheerfully, "we both win."

"I guess so," his son replied, sounding doubtful, "but if you look at it another way, we both lose. I lose a whole Saturday and you lose a chance to make a sale."

Their dialogue sticks with me because it dramatizes something I've believed for most of my life: win-win situations can exist only if all parties involved feel like winners. And we can feel like winners, no matter what others tell us or how favorable the circumstances, only if being a winner is consistent with our self-image -- in other words, only if we see ourselves that way.

The question that naturally follows is one with tremendous implications for us all: Why do some people see themselves as winners and act accordingly, while so many others can only see and be -- far less?

The answer, according to studies coming out of Harvard, Stanford, the University of Pennsylvania, and other institutes, is that people learn to see themselves as winners.

Learning to Win -- and Lose

Learning to feel like a winner happens primarily as a result of having successful experiences and thinking self-affirming thoughts. When we believe our efforts will be successful, we become venturesome and are most likely to undertake an activity or task. Because we expect to succeed, we persist in our efforts until we do. This successful experience causes self-affirming thoughts, which, in turn, boost our self-esteem and perceived self-efficacy, make us feel good, and lead us to believe we will do well if we attempt more in the future. Thus, we do attempt more, and the upward spiral continues. It's a very efficient internal system that appears to be designed, if it's used properly, to help us grow and develop as human beings -- a kind of natural continuous quality improvement program.

There is, however, the possibility of an equally powerful downward spiral that can interrupt the natural, growth-seeking process, if we believe we are likely to fail. Because of this belief, we undertake activities tentatively, expecting a negative outcome. We feel anxious about our performance, and we look for opportunities to avoid or remove ourselves from anxiety-producing situations as soon as possible. When we fail, we say, "I told you so" to ourselves and make a (usually unconscious) mental note to avoid similar situations in the future. We feel less and less competent, we behave accordingly, and down and down we go.

The roots of downward spiral can usually be traced to early life. When we're young, we have little, if anything, to say about the experiences to which we're subjected or the messages we receive from the world. The authority figures in our lives often exercise the power to shape our earliest thoughts and feelings for us, whether or not they do so consciously. If we are conditioned to believe that the world is not a friendly place, that we have to struggle to get our basic needs met, that we are not loved (lovable), valued (valuable) or competent, there isn't much we can do about it. Years pass and the pattern repeats many times. It becomes part of who we are, imprinted in our brains, and our internal voice, our self-talk, takes on the sound of our harshest critics. We play out the negative conditioning we received, and we no longer think about it.

Changing the Rules

When we become adults, however, the game changes. We can acknowledge these painful early experiences for what they were, let go of them, and move past the self-defeating thoughts and behavior they cause. We can opt for a new and better way of life -- choosing not only what we think, but also how we think and how we will respond to our experiences.

Albert Einstein said, "No problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it. We must learn to see the world anew." As adults with God-given free will, we can learn to think like and be winners, even if we were taught to believe something else. And we can choose to win in a way that makes no one else a loser. To make these choices intelligently however, we need to know what our options are, how to begin the growth process, how to deal with setbacks and obstacles, how to fuel the process for the long haul, and where to get the tools -- the information and resources -- we need.

I am more convinced now than ever that most people know on some level that they could be living vastly more fulfilling lives and -- if they are given the option, the proper tools, and a supportive environment - they will choose to do so.

How Winners Think

Over the years, my work has brought me into close and often extended contact with a great many of people who are unquestionably "winners." You would immediately recognize some of their names because they are sports stars, politicians, or world leaders. Most of them, however, you've never heard of, and many have neither sought nor earned great public recognition or material possessions, but they're highly successful at what they have chosen to do with their lives. The single common characteristic is not what, but how they think.

Through an amazing variety of experiences and with a dazzling array of individual differences, all of them have learned the importance of a clear vision and sense of purpose for both the short- and long-term future. They have each discovered that clearly envisioned and articulated goals help them speed up their drive toward accomplishing that purpose. They have developed tremendous resiliency, great faith in their ability to get things done, and self-talk that constantly affirms their own success and value as human beings. What's more, they feel deeply connected to the world in which they live and fully accountable for their actions. In other words, they have learned to think like winners.

Whether we're talking about a sports team, a corporation, a nation, or just you and I, the best tools and the latest information won't help us tap into our richest potential until we accept that we, and no one else, are ultimately responsible for who we are, what we do and who we become. This means that we are willing to give up looking for someone or something to blame and abandon any hint of victim mentality that we may have acquired.

Why We Avoid or Achieve Success

If we have learned to think like losers (or pessimists), we unconsciously create situations that reinforce our beliefs. When, every once in a while, we expect failure and actually manage to succeed anyway, we toss it off to luck or a fluke, say it's only temporary, and hold on to our negative beliefs for dear life.

We do this because it's far more important for us to stay sane than to succeed, and by sanity I mean a state of being where our mental picture of reality actually matches reality. If the dominant picture we hold of ourselves is as losers or failures, we will do whatever we can, consciously or unconsciously, to make sure reality supports our view. Deviation from that picture, even if it means positive change, makes us very uncomfortable, producing anxiety and an almost overwhelming desire to get back where we belong.

On the other hand, if our picture of reality is that we deal with obstacles well and persist until we succeed, we will do whatever it takes to make that picture match the outside world. We will seek out challenge, enlist help, get very creative coming up with problem-solving strategies, and refuse to quit until we have achieved our goal. We will see change as opportunity and ourselves as able to successfully adapt. We become exhilarated with life and if success eludes us, we won't interpret it as failure. Defeat doesn't match our picture. Instead, we will see it as useful information about what doesn't work, a temporary setback, and we don't take it personally or believe it will rub off on other areas of our lives.

What if We Put the Horse First?

Doesn't it make good sense to change our internal picture before we go around trying to change the results we're getting -- certainly before we start trying to change other people's (or our own) behavior in ways that don't fit their inner picture of who they are? Studies tell us that subjects with an optimistic view of their own capabilities (high self-efficacy) out-perform those who are doubtful as well as those who are simply more "realistic," even though their actual abilities are virtually identical. They don't give up as easily, they don't worry about obstacles or setbacks because the final outcome is never in doubt, and they see themselves as creative, resourceful problem solvers. In short, they believe themselves into being more. The see themselves as winners, so they act like it.

In a business setting, it is certainly desirable to teach people how to do their jobs well, but unless their inner picture is one of competence, it doesn't matter how good your teaching is, you won't get competence -- unless, of course, you're willing to stand over them all the time. You'll have to stand over them because the minute you don't, they'll revert to their dominant picture. It's simply human nature.

Even if a worker does have an inner picture of quality and competence, be ready for some surprises unless that picture closely matches the one held by management and co-workers. Achieving that match takes concerted effort, but it isn't hard to imagine how much easier managing that matching process becomes if all the people involved have learned to think in ways that are compatible and optimistic.

If the much-neglected principles affecting behavioral side of quality are acknowledged, the results will surprise many. Where quality programs are working well, I find a keen managerial understanding of these all-important "human factors" and a sensible system in place to apply them and make them an integral part of the culture. This happens not only because of its bottom-line impact, but also because, quite simply, the managers care about the well-being of the people who work for them. They know that how their employees think and what they think matters a great deal, and they behave accordingly. On the other hand, stories abound of expensive and extensive programs producing at best, lackluster results for companies that give little thought and minimal investment to prepare their work force for new ways of thinking and behaving.

Managers Who Think Like Leaders

Executives who think like leaders understand the importance of empowering their employees, and they are committed to helping the individuals in their organization grow and develop. They create a common vision or purpose, and work to keep it dynamic, responsive, and uppermost in people's minds. They learn what environment is needed for a particular group of people to do their best work, and they do their best to provide it, along with meaningful rewards and incentives. Finally, they care about their own personal growth and development, and they behave as a matter of course in ways that inspire others.

If we are going to compete -- and cooperate -- successfully, our workers and managers will have to learn to think like winners. This revolution in thinking is happening now in many organizations. But their way of thinking and behaving needs to become the norm, not a notable exception. If we want to create a work force of winners, we must be willing to change the way we think, come out of the dark ages of human behavior, stop regarding crucial psychological factors as "soft," "touchy-feely," or otherwise irrelevant, and start giving them the consideration and full weight they deserve. We must learn, as Einstein suggested, to see the world -- and ourselves -- anew.

Vision and Mission

So, what do you really want? You've got to focus on an idea or ideal, vision or mission, by making constructive use of your imagination. You construct a future first in your mind. For example, you have an idea of a future dinner, movie, or party. Or, you imagine the product you're going to make, the organization you're going to build, the trip you're going to take. It's simple as that. Each one of us must think and work in ideals. An ideal is an image, picture, or vision that exists presently only in your mind. You look at current reality, the way things actually are at the present moment -- the way you live now, the way you dress, your work, your health, your community, and the state of the world -- and you say to yourself, "What would the ideal be for me and the organization?"

Let yourself be free of "reality" for a moment. Let yourself picture this ideal without worrying whether you know how to get there, how to do it or even what it entails. Just draw a beautiful, simple picture of how it might be, and then keep that picture in your mind.

Motive and Motivation

We need a lot of drive and energy to get from here to there in our lives. Most of that must come from within -- from intrinsic motivation that springs from well-defined values and motives. We need to understand why we act the way we do; otherwise, we won't know why we keep getting in our own way, or how to get out of our way when it counts to perform at a peak level on demand.

Why do you want to be, do, or have what you want? Why do you want to get there? How unselfish are your motives? How noble is your mission?

Hopefully, you mature to the point where you do things unselfishly, where you give with no ulterior motive at all, where you are primarily interested in helping people around you because that's the greatest sense of reward that you can find. You do it simply because it's the right thing to do, not to impress anyone, not because you want something from it. Your intent is unselfish. You're motivated by love and justice.

It really helps me to have clear in my own mind what is important to me on a hierarchy of values. That way, I'm not thrown off by the little things. I have learned, however, that little things to me might be very big things to others -- and that I need to respect their values. Once Diane and I were racing two of our thoroughbred horses at Golden Gate, just outside San Francisco, California. One of our horses broke a leg and needed to be killed. This was a favorite horse of mine -- one we had raised from a colt. Our trainer, a young man who traveled with us and took our horses all over the nation at the time, was with us. When they gave the horse a lethal injection, this young man started to cry.

That night we were having dinner, the three of us, and we started talking about the horse. And this young man started to cry again. I said to him, "Wait a minute. How can you cry over a horse? You are eating a cow, you know." I gave him lesson #77 in ethics and values and told him what was most important in the hierarchy of values, but it didn't seem to do any good. He was more disconsolate than ever.

Later that evening, Diane and I were talking, and she said, "You know, you've become very insensitive. I think you're losing your sense of values." Her statement hit me hard. And she said, "You didn't show much empathy for him. His whole life is tied up in racing. It isn't just losing the horse that hurt him, but your treatment of him. You lost your compassion, your sensitivity for the person and what his life is all about. You're starting to treat him not as a person, but like a possession. It's as if he's just a thing to work with your horses to cause them to win. He has a right to be upset; this is his life;"

I suddenly realized that yes, I had begun using people around me as if they were merely means to an end of what I wanted to possess. I don't cry very often, but I started to cry right then. And I said to Diane, "I don't want to be that way."

Each one of us needs to identify our own hierarchy of values. Sort out for yourself what the essentials are, why you are on earth, what is important to you, and what your life is worth. I encourage you to use affirmations and set goals to bring more of those things that are important to you abundantly into your life. I know that miraculous things occur when we align our spirit, our true intent, with real love and honesty, and work for the good of other people.

Why are you doing what you do? If your intent is selfish, self-serving, dishonest, or shallow, it's up to you to change your intent using your own self-talk.

I guarantee that you will get surprising results: 2 + 2 no longer becomes 4; it becomes 16. With synergy, you can make a quantum leap forward. The true source of quality is this selfless spirit of intent, so if you care about the quality of your product, the quality of your life, then take a good look at your spirit of intent and try to focus on doing things for the right reasons.

It sounds so easy, but it can be so difficult. Once I was at Seattle University looking some things up at the library. I was preparing for a seminar I was scheduled to give in two hours across the Puget Sound. To get there on time, I had to catch a ferry that was scheduled to leave in 20 minutes across town. If I missed it, I would need to drive four hours to get to my seminar. So, I hopped into my sports car and sped away, only to find the traffic backed up. Now I was in a panic, as I only had a few minutes to catch the ferry. I pulled over to look ahead and see what was blocking the traffic. I saw that an old Chinese gentleman was trying to cross a busy street. He'd start out, get frightened, turn back, chicken out, come back, start again, turn around, chicken out, come back.

So I pulled the hand brake on my car, got out, and approached this guy. I said, "Let me help you cross the street." And I took him by the hand and walked with him across the street. He then said to me, "Thank you so much for helping me. I'll remember your kindness forever."

He made me feel like such a bum because I wasn't helping him across the street to be kind. I just wanted to catch the ferry. But he, and perhaps others who observed my action, not knowing my intent, came to the wrong conclusion: "Isn't he a wonderful person for helping the old man across the street?" By the way, I did catch the ferry. But I would have felt better about myself if, in getting from here to there, I had done the good deed for the right reason.