Thank you for your detailed description of the pain you are experiencing.
After hearing your description, I feel the best way to deal with your pain is on another level.
In your detailed description you describe your broken dreams and I feel that these broken dreams are now the cause of the ever-increasing complexity of your external symptoms.
By learning to dream again – especially if you use your imagination, your creativity and passion for life – you can rebuild your body from the inside.
Your dreams directly affect the blueprint of your energy body, which your physical body grows into.
Every cell in your body changes: some change daily, some change weekly; so that nearly every cell in your body changes at least every seven years. Each cell of your body grows into the electromagnetic field or energy blueprint that you have created for your body by your dreams, visualizations, passion and desire.
When you dream, you connect your consciousness to the universal life force, which is flowing from your spiritual essence or source energy, outwards.
When you dream, your awareness is in a place where anything is possible. Therefore, forget your current reality and go deep into your heart and learn to dream your dreams as though anything were possible.
This is like working on a plant, on the level of the sap. The clear colourless sap is what forms the hard stem, the soft leaves and the beautiful flower. It is your spiritual essence – your dreams, your self-image and your self-love – that create your energy blueprint, which your physical body grows into.
Therefore, move your attention away from your pain and focus on your spiritual essence, creating in your mind's eye beautiful dreams and experiences that will bring you great joy and happiness.
You still have the ability to have beautiful music in your life. It may be that your energy has to flow in a different way – maybe by teaching others to become your fingers and your ears.
Through teaching others your dreams can be realized by blending them with those of other people who are in reality a part of you. Give yourself the freedom to dream the most wild and improbable dreams, knowing that you have the divine alchemy to create them as a Part of All That Is.
Please focus your energy on what is still working within your body and use that to allow your music to flow.
To help with rebalancing your energy, I would be pleased if you could go to my website and listen to the energy balancing guided meditation, which can be started by pressing the yellow triangular jelly button. Here is the link to the page:
HealerGeorge Guided Meditations
You may also enjoy the Realizing Your Dreams Guided Meditation.
Thank you for your question.

Author's Bio: 

Message channelled by George E. Lockett SSHA, IIHHT -- HealerGeorge(C) Copyright 2007, All Rights Reserved. Tel: +44 (0)1286 882701 George has recently published his new book, which contains many more articles and advice to bring Joy into your life. The book is titled: "A Journey into the Self -- the multi-dimensional nature of being human": HealerGeorge Web Site and New Book
Description: What is this book going to do for YOU? For those who are seeking a complete energetic makeover, as you read it you will feel a stirring and awakening in the depths of your heart. For those who have questions about Shifts in Consciousness, Energy Balancing, and Healing within the body, you will find clear answers.
Ask a question of HealerGeorge on his New Radio Show: HealerGeorge Radio Show