Optimism Part 4

This is the fourth article in a series on applying The Optimist Creed to help you succeed in your life and career. You can find all ten points of The Optimist Creed in the first article in this series.

The Optimist Creed, Point 3

“Promise yourself to make all your friends feel that there is something in them.”

Everybody likes to feel special. Mary Kay Ash, the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics said it really well. “Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, ‘Make me feel important.’ Never forget this message when working with people.” She’s right. That’s the main message in the third point of The Optimist Creed.

I’d like to take it one step further. I suggest that you promise yourself to make all the people you meet, not just your friends, feel that there is something special in them. When you do this, two things will happen. 1) You’ll make their day. 2) You’ll feel better about yourself. Feeling good about yourself is an important part of self confidence.

Let me tell you a story. I was in New York one December, facilitating a meeting at a client’s office. The meeting was scheduled to begin at 7:30. I always like to turn up early for meetings I am facilitating.

I arrived at the client’s office about 6:50. Since 9/11, they have a security card system. Because I do a lot of work for them, I have a contractor security card. When I swiped the card on Tuesday, I was denied access. The Security Guard on duty looked at my card and told me that I have limited access 7:00 am to 7:00 pm to the building and that I would have to wait 10 minutes.

I didn’t know this. I’m usually not there that early. It was cold. I was tired. I had arrived at my hotel at 12:30 am the previous night. I tried to convince the guard to let me in to the building. He was unyielding (as he should have been). I expressed my frustration at this “silly rule”, and went to the coffee shop next door to wait until 7:00.

When I came back at 7:02, I apologized to the Security Guard. He was genuinely surprised. He said that similar situations happen a couple of times a week, and a lot of people get really angry at being made to wait. He told me that I was actually quite pleasant for someone who was being denied access to the building.

And that’s the common sense point here. I apologized to the guard and told him that he was not only “just doing his job”, but that he was doing a good job. He was firm in upholding the company’s policy, but he did it in a professional, non confrontational manner. This was some positive feedback for someone who is in a role where positive feedback isn’t all that common.

I could tell that he appreciated my comments. He felt a little better about himself because he did the right thing – and that someone who was frustrated by him doing the right thing recognized and appreciated the value of what he did. He began his day with a smile.

On the other hand, I felt better about myself because I chose to apologize for the little bit of grief I gave him, and I did something small to make someone else’s day just a little bit brighter.

Self confident, optimistic people feel good enough about themselves to help others feel good about themselves. This is a powerful way to build relationships with others and to become a career and life success. Try it. Look for ways to help everybody you meet to feel as if there is something special in them.

After I finished writing this piece, I went to my e mail where I found a daily motivation from the folks at Walk the Talk Company. The thought for the day came from Jackie Robinson, the man who broke the color barrier in major league baseball. “I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me…all I ask is that you respect me as a human being.” I can’t think of a better way to finish this article.