Must have EQ

How can organizations meet the challenge of getting people to work together more effectively? Is Emotional Intelligence (EQ – which actually stands for Emotional Quotient) the answer?

Research suggests that it is. A study by Yale University, for example, found that teams with high levels of EQ outperformed teams with low levels of EQ by a margin of two to one. No wonder businesses are interested.

And it really should be no surprise to find EQ so much in demand. After all, we work in structures which are much flatter than ever. We have to be much faster on our feet with both colleagues and clients and, whatever the team structure, there is increasing priority for us to build the relationships we need – fast. In this context EQ is the glue that holds people and teams together.

So how can managers develop their EQ?
Illumine Training is a leading provider of EQ programmes and, according to programme leader, Helen Whitten, one of the first principles for us to recognise is that how we think, directly affects how we feel.

“A simple way to illustrate this is by considering our expectations”, explained Whitten. “We all have expectations of ourselves, others and the situations we face. But where do these expectations come from? Typically we picked them up from our parents and they became our norms. But why should people behave in the way we expect? When I work, I encourage managers to check their attitude to ensure it is helpful to them in achieving their goal. People with high EQ develop the facility to choose their attitude, rather than letting their emotions rule them”.

So are all emotions inappropriate? Of course not. Passion and energy in the workplace are prized assets, and our ability to engage with others is essential to our success at work. But there are some emotions – such as anger and fear – that not only get in the way of our own performance, but can also impact negatively on that of others. So how do we deal with these?

“Knowing where our emotions come from can help us to gain some control” suggests Whitten. She continues, “And sometimes we simply need to acknowledge how we feel. There is nothing wrong with having strong emotions – but we need to express them appropriately”.

Whitten is also prepared to challenge male organisational cultures. “It is more acceptable for men to shout and scream than it is for women to cry. But in many cases these emotions are caused by the same event. So why should one be acceptable and the other not? On my courses I help managers both to question their beliefs and assumptions and to develop their tolerance”, she said.

Understanding others’ perspectives
EQ involves how you self-manage. On the other hand, it addresses how you engage with the emotions of others. That is why empathy is also important. It is about developing that capacity to step into someone else’s shoes, see what their experience is like and so build genuine understanding.

So, when individuals develop EQ, does that automatically translate into an EQ team? Unfortunately not. An emotionally intelligent team needs an extra set of skills. This includes being inclusive and working collaboratively, staying open to new opportunities and being adaptable to change. And people within the team also need to be able to engage in direct and honest communication – knowing what they stand for individually and collectively.

This issue of communication is fundamental. Communication underpins relationships, and strong relationships are critical for managers who work in pressurised environments and have to manage change. In this respect, managers who are intent on developing their EQ must prioritise the giving and receiving of feedback as a way of developing their social performance. And they must be courageous in bringing their feelings into the open – recognising that our feelings provide an important channel to awareness and knowledge.

So should you be developing your EQ? There seems little doubt that managers and leaders who have trained up in EQ have far more initiative in dealing with organisational life than those who don’t. Stress will always exist at work, but EQ gives people the tools and the ways of thinking to manage it to their advantage.

ENDS

Additional Commentary

How to dispute your thinking

Identify the active situation that is triggering your emotions, e.g. an overdue project
Clarify your beliefs around your thinking, e.g. ‘The project team should have got to grips with this problem much quicker’
Consider the consequences of holding this belief, e.g. ‘Being involved on this project makes me look stupid’
Now dispute your thinking. What evidence is there that you will look stupid on this project? Does your current thinking help you to achieve your goal? Is there a more helpful attitude you could adopt? What emotion would you prefer to lead with?

A six-step process for developing your Emotional Intelligence

o Know what you feel
o Know why you feel it
o Acknowledge the emotion and know how to manage it
o Know how to motivate yourself and make yourself feel better
o Recognise the emotions of other people and develop empathy
o Express your feelings appropriately and manage relationships

Trusting the emotions

“Emotions have long been considered to be of such depth and power that in Latin, for example, they were described as moutus anima, meaning literally ‘the spirit that moves us.’ Contrary to most conventional thinking, emotions are inherently neither positive nor negative; rather they serve as the single most powerful source of human energy and drive that can offer us a wealth of intuitive wisdom. In fact, feelings provide us with vital and potentially profitable information every minute of the day. This feedback from the heart, and not the head, is what ignites creative genius, keeps you honest with yourself, shapes trusting relationships, provides an inner compass for your life and career, guides you to unexpected possibilities, and may even save you or your organisation from disaster.”
Robert Cooper, co-author of Executive EQ