Life’s Bittersweet Success

I admit, inspiration is hard to come by lately. And I am an advocate of positive thought and the power of intention, by the way.

You’ve heard the adage “practice what you preach?” Well, it is but one of many conundrums that stuck solidly in my awareness at an early age. With it, I perceived something of importance behind the message, and adopted it as a method of good measure to value and guide me. Throughout my life, it’s been a driving force behind my accomplishments and goals and my ultimate decision to live by example.

I firmly believe that to preach without practice makes one a hypocrite and, consequently, equates to dooming yourself and others to almost certain failure. Conversely, to both practice and preach is an odds-on chance for all to succeed. I’ve held this belief foremost in my thoughts and actions in adulthood, specifically so that my sons might gain an advantage in this game called life. Being a hypocrite, to me, is something to acknowledge and avoid. I consciously hoped that seeing the actual practice of one’s beliefs and opinions (preaching) would make the difference for my sons; that they might navigate some of life’s emotional hardships, physical challenges, and material obstacles better than previous generations. Despite these intentions, a couple of weeks ago, I thought I had failed.

My youngest son was diagnosed with Type I Diabetes. Though not the end of the world, it was still a lot to swallow and digest. Not to be dismissed, my oldest son had to cope with the immediate effect on his own reality. My first thoughts were in the realm of, “So, now we face the hardship, challenges, and obstacles of this new twist in our path. Then we move on.”

Three weeks later, in reflection, I realize the power of my intentions has already corrected my first mistake on this new path for me. There is a different lesson in this twist for each of us. None is easier or harder than any other. Living with Diabetes, for now, is the life lesson my youngest son must face. Coping with secondary influences and supporting others’ needs - while setting aside his own desires - is the life lesson my oldest son must face. And it is my life lesson, at this time, to support and encourage both of them and myself with equal encouragement and understanding. I cannot live their lessons for them as my traditional human nature wants to do. I must listen to them, hear their needs, and respond. I will do neither of them any good if I guess, try, and answer their lessons for them. I must resolve to live my part to the very best of my ability, and they must reach deep within themselves and do the same. Together, if we manage our distinct and separate responsibilities, if we share our resources and trust one another and this process, we will learn our lessons well and overcome our parallel hardships, challenges, and obstacles.

Then we will each taste our successes in navigating this twist. Then our healing will be achieved and we will move on to the next stages of our lives.

I know in my heart I have not failed my sons. I know in my heart I never will fail my sons. I cannot fail them so long as I live my life by example. Through the power of intention, they both have developed the courage to face their fears, the strength to push on through disillusionment, and the power to believe in themselves with pure, positive intention. I see it in their ability to take this latest twist in stride, and to not allow dis-ease and dis-order to stop them from taking action. I hear it in their acknowledgement of their individual and familial situations, and in allowing themselves the right to be angry. I feel it in their ability to see past that anger and to laugh, smile, forgive, and play despite life’s unending contest of balance … How can I possibly doubt the truth when my son looks me in the eye and says, “If this is what we have to do … then we do it.”

So I can see, thus far, that I have succeeded in living by example. My sons are both living their greatest life. They are accepting of life’s challenges; living their lives to the fullest and the best of their ability and understanding. They are living by the standards of their own ideals. They, too, are living by example.

At nine and eleven, their understanding is far and away beyond my comprehension when I was at that young age. So I see the proof - in my methods and in my intentions - that I have not failed. I have imparted upon my sons a sense of awareness and understanding, the gifts of allowing and persevering, and the belief and knowing that everything has its purpose and reasoning in this life.

Life is not perfect, life is just life. It’s up to each of us to choose to live our greatest life.

Copyright © 2009 Rebecca Halstead
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