Life Purpose

Who will I be when I grow up? Many of us kind of bumble along in life, going with the flow, without firm plans or goals. Others have a clearly delineated pathway from an early age. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. We need to find the right balance for us between being totally driven on the one hand, and aimless on the other.

In The Law of Attraction Abraham says that we will experience positive emotions whenever we recognize our growth and negative emotions when we are feeling stagnation. Many psychologists are now looking at the role of goals in their research and clinical work with clients. I have had the privilege of both consulting and being trained by Dr. Lee Pulos, an expert on performance and motivation. In his on-line interview with the Intuition Network Lee speaks of a study with patients in a convalescent facility. One group of patients was given responsibility for the houseplant in their room, and the other group was told not to concern themselves with it, the staff would look after it. The group without the simple goal of plant care died within the expected time frame of eighteen months, while the other group lived almost twice as long. So the message, Dr. Pulos says, is that we feel more empowered when we have a goal, a vision in our lives.

During my perimenopausal years I didn’t have an action goal per se. Stillness was the place I resided in. Every woman has her own unique way of transitioning through this stage of life. My way seemed to be about waiting, about living from day to day, moment to moment. I sensed that something profound was going on deep inside me; I had no idea what it was. My physical energy levels were low. My doctor of Chinese Medicine told me that my kidney energy was quite low, and in chinese medicine all the other systems rest on the kidney system. He encouraged me to rest. I did that, in spades. I think the profound ‘circuitry re-wiring’ going on within me that Northrup speaks of was leading me to a new sense of self. Perhaps it was no accident that my physical energy was low; I needed the stillness to develop into the woman I was becoming.

Now goals and visioning are a way of life for me. I feel an enormous sense of possibility since beginning my North Star coaching journey with Dr. Martha Beck almost three years ago. Despite my daily struggle with my limiting beliefs, I am steadily moving forward in my life. I’m giving myself permission to know and act on my yearnings. My life is beginning to reflect my dreams and visions.

So try this: Get yourself in the flow with breath work, dancing or exercise. Then ask yourself: “what do I yearn for?” Listen carefully to the answers without monitoring. Now you have your jumping-off point, your goal.