Letting Go of Fear

I was woken from a deep sleep by blood curdling screams. I knew the screams weren’t human and my first thought was that possums were fighting outside my bedroom window. As I lay in the dark trying to work out where the screams were coming from two of my cats ran into the bedroom and circled my suitcase, which I’d left lying on the floor the night before. My heart started pounding and I felt real fear thinking a rat, or something worse, was lurking in my bedroom.

I put on the light, stood on the bed and hoped for a miracle. When no miracle arrived I put on sturdy shoes, went in search of a broom then moved very carefully around my bedroom but found nothing. Knowing I wouldn’t be able to sleep with something in my room I went into my daughter’s bedroom, stuffed towels under her door so nothing could crawl under, then climbed into bed with her.

The following day I had to catch an early flight to Los Angeles so I closed my bedroom door and told my girls to call WIRES (our wildlife service which rescues animals). WIRES came and searched the room but nothing was found.

Ten days later I arrived home late at night feeling exhausted and grateful to sleep in my own bed after days of travelling. Shortly after I fell asleep I was woken again by the same unearthly screams and I went through the same routine of searching my room before jumping into bed with my daughter again.

Over the following week the nightly screams continued and by this time my need to sleep in my own bed was greater than my fear. During the day I searched the house, looked under beds, behind doors and even went as far as dragging my mattress outside without finding anything. Then, three weeks after the first incident I heard a really pitiful weak cry and found a tiny gecko, which could easily fit into the palm of my hand, trying to escape out my front door. Fortunately I was able to save him and returned him to the garden.

I believe this tiny gecko came to teach me to let go of fear. During my absence my two daughter’s had stayed in my house without any incidents and it still amazes me that the gecko was silent that whole time and only started screaming once I returned. At that time I was really stuck in fear as I was worried about one of my children, I believe the gecko sensed my fear and screamed as a way of protecting itself.

There is only one thing that takes us away from being happy and manifesting all our desires and that is fear. The problem with fear though is that it has so many faces that sometimes we don’t recognise it. Fear can sometimes be called money worries, stress, anxiety or it can manifest as depression or anger. Most of us handle fear by trying to get rid of the problem or avoiding it, as I did when I hid from the gecko. Or, we try to force change, which is how all wars begin. For many people though fear is their constant companion, it rules their lives and influences all of their choices even when they aren’t consciously aware of it.

Anything that we resist we give our energy to and whatever we place our energy upon we manifest more of the same. When we learn to stop fighting fear with fear then our world will change. There is only one way to manage fear and that is to let it go. Letting go doesn’t mean that you will never feel afraid again, you will and so will I. It simply means that you are willing to let go of your fear and trust that there is a purpose behind everything that happens.

It’s no accident that my love of the bush brings me into contact with creepy crawling creatures. My love of nature is the motivating force that helps me accept and let go of my fears. I’ve had baby bandicoots in my kitchen, snakes in my garden and spiders all around me. I would prefer to live without wildlife in my garden but I thank these little creatures because they remind me daily to trust.

There is no magic formula to letting. Letting go is an intention. When you support your intention to let go with consistent action then eventually you will find you are able to do so. The action comes first and the feeling follows.