Civility

My goodness! Where has civility gone? Is it still here? Is it in hiding or has it been stomped on so much that it can't get up and function? Perhaps it is all of these. I believe civility is still here but only practiced on those occasions when we want to present ourselves in a good light. Then we are "nicely, nicely". Afterwards, we go back to being our thoughtless and careless selves. After all, who is polite and who practices good manners? Well, worthies, plenty of people do, but not enough practice civility to make the impact on society (civilization) that we can be proud of.

Most of us wonder why we should be civil to one and another, as only a few should seem to do so. Some of the reasons we do not practice civility is lack of knowledge and thoughtlessness. "What should we do and why should we do it?"

In this short essay I will offer some reasons why we should make practicing civility a natural as breathing, and how the practice of civility well benefit us and civilization in general.

The traditional reason for practicing good manners, courtesy/civility is self-preservation. I am civil to you, you are civil to me and we will get along whether we have differences or not. It is the Golden Rule. "Do unto others as you want them to do to you." To quote one of my poems:

WHEN CIVILITY HAS NO INFLUENCE

When civility has no influence
Hostility becomes self-defense
In a nation consumed by violence

So, why be civil? Here are some of the benefits. We can enjoy the company of family, friends and coworkers, school mates, etc. more readily and, this is comforting to know, we will be more confident of ourselves as we pass through the various levels of business and society. In our business and social life, civility is one of the key requirements for success. In our family and recreational life we will secure the respect and even the love of our fellow human beings. By being civil we are more at ease with ourselves knowing that we are doing the "right thing" which enhances our self-image. It's also a question of "how do we wish to be perceived?"

Here is a concept that I would like to offer for your consideration. Can we consider ourselves as a gift to the world? (Yes, a gift; and yes, to the world!) A gift, we know, is the offering of something of value without the expectation of a return. The "something" of value is, of course, ourselves. If our overtures of friendliness are ignored or rejected, if we are involved in an unpleasant situation, we will have the courage (self-confidence) to weather the event because of our knowledge and training in the Art of Civility. We will be more able to maintain our composure, that is, EQUANIMITY which is also referred to as "grace under pressure", an ability so necessary in our present day society, as this ability is vital for our sense of well being. In other words, our self-esteem remains intact.

By accepting the principle of personal sovereignty; which is all human beings are endowed with infinite worth, independence and freedom of choice; and when the elements of knowledge, care, respect and responsibility/accountability are ingrained in our psyche and in our very bones; rude, rotten and righteous behavior of others will not affect us adversely. We cannot control the actions of other people, but we can control our own and thereby influence the behavior of others. Therefore, we can say without a doubt, that no matter what culture we subscribe to, we can be considered civil, honorable, humane human beings.