Tame Your Ego

Do you know you that there is a step you can take toward fully embracing your spiritual identity which offers permanent freedom from perhaps your greatest source of insecurity and personal bondage? The step is to simply stop taking yourself so seriously, and basically decide as a spiritual being to “get over yourself” once and for all and get on with living and loving your life.

By “get over yourself” I mean get over the part of you that is insecure, and self-doubting and wanting of approval from others. Get over the part that convinces you that you are unlovable, unworthy and unwanted and cannot trust your inner voice for guidance. Recognize this shadow, this false self for what it really is, your controlling ego; and keep it from throwing you into confusion.

The truth is, we are all Divine Immortal beings. Our human personality, our ego, is merely a tool with which to express ourselves on earth. Recognize the ego or personality for the limited tool that it is, and do not let it throw you into doubt. Instead refine and sharpen your ego to serve and express your spirit, rather than allow it to block or over-ride your spirit as so many human egos attempt to do.

The best way to do this is to treat it like a beloved pet. It's a bit of a wild animal, and can tear things up if let to run on its own devices, but with a little training and discipline, and a relatively large dose of love and affection, the ego can be tempered and taught to serve you well.

The key is to let your ego know who is boss, your spirit of course, and remind it daily that its job is to love and serve your spirit and not the other way around.

Begin to see how ridiculous your ego can be, never happy, never satisfied, never at peace, at least not when depending on others or the outside world for its sustenance.

I was just reminded of how crazy my own ego can be, and how miserable it can make me if I let it run my life. I was asked to be an opening speaker at an extremely famous author's event in San Francisco and couldn't believe my luck. To be in such esteemed company and allowed to speak to her crowd of 3,000 was quite an honor for me and I was quite flattered. I prepared for the event for months. Not only did I practice what I wanted to say, I got a new outfit and haircut to look my best as well.

When the big night came, I was ready. I shined in my twenty minutes before her audience, and did such a good job I even got a standing ovation. Floating on cloud nine, my ego couldn't have been happier or fuller of itself at that moment.

After the event, and the main speaker was also done with her program, we were both escorted outside of the conference hall where we were sat side by side at two separate tables and asked to sign books. Still floating on air, I readied my pen and prepared to receive my admiring fans, except I didn't have any admiring fans. Over 1,000 people lined up in my far more famous colleague's line, and no one, not even one person stood in mine for an autograph.

So much for my stellar moment. Not only was I ignored, several people smiled and waved from the other line as though feeling sorry for me, and said “I don't have a book this time, maybe next time.”

It was brutal, and my ego, only moments earlier, intoxicated from attention, now shriveled up and wanted to crawl under the table and hide.

Unfortunately, I couldn't do that and instead suffered through an hour of smiling at the other line while sitting alone in mine.

Finally, the torture ended as the more famous author was escorted away in her stretch limousine and I was left alone to walk the three blocks back to my hotel all by myself. The final insult came as I was crossing the street and one of the attendees honked her horn and yelled at me to “get out of the way.”

By the time I got back to my room, my ego was so confused I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Never before had I been so thoroughly applauded and then completely ignored in such a short period of time, by the same crowd. It was ridiculous.

Thank God I saw that, and started laughing. How silly of me to get so hooked into such approval. I forgot that I do what I do because I love it, and not because I need applause. The applause was seductive, but the minute it disappeared, I felt I had disappeared, too. The more I thought about it, the more ridiculous I must have looked, sitting alone at my table. I laughed even more. Thank God I remembered my spirit, and how much I loved doing what I do, applause or not. The minute I reconnected to that, I was over my painful perceptions and back at peace.

Mine was a lesson we all face, over and over again. It's a tricky one because we all desire to feel good about what we do, and love praise and recognition for a job well done. In fact we just love praise and recognition, no matter what kind of job we do.

The way out is surprisingly easy. Don't take yourself so seriously. Lighten up and laugh at the things that pain you. Look for the similarities in all people. Remember, on an ego level we are all insecure. No one has got something over another. No matter how things appear. Remember your spirit behind all things; the part of you that gives you life. Love this part of you, and laugh at your confusion over anything else. The more you laugh at your fragile ego, the more you return to your spirit. And that is the only place where true sound security is found.