Notes to Myself

I was walking with my second graders down the hallway when one of my special students accidentally bumped into the fire alarm. There is a plastic, protective casing over it and when he knocked into it, it fell off and started to make a whirring noise. He was so mortified he put his hands over his ears and started crying. I consoled him and was explaining to him everyone makes mistakes and accidents happen. I told him its no big deal, we can resolve this. We knocked on the door of another teacher to let the office know what happened.

My entire class was staring at me with big, wondrous eyes. What's Ms. Miller going to do? I continued to try to calm my student down who was crying uncontrollably with fear and regret. Meanwhile the whirring noise continued. I thought, let me see if I can fix this situation, so I grabbed the handle on the fire alarm and tried to shut it off from making the whirring noise. Instead, I tripped it and it went off in full force through the entire school! Oops! All the classes started rushing out of their classrooms to evacuate the building. My class stood there gasping at me, with huge, shocked eyes, at what I had just done! We proceeded to evacuate the building and I explained to my Principal what had happened. She took my little boy aside and reassured him that everyone makes mistakes. What he discovered was not only does he make mistakes but so does his teacher!!!

This is a student who has a lot of issues. He has not been successful in school up to this point and suffers from feeling inadequate and incapable. I'm continually telling him what a great job he is doing for every little thing he does right. I can see because he suffers from attention deficit he has a lot of fear of not being good enough. It takes tremendous effort for him to concentrate and focus. He is so disconnected from the body/mind connection that he didn't even realize the fact that he was walking right into the fire alarm. He is living in a perpetual state of survival mode, trying to navigate through his environment and figure out how to be successful, when he really doesn't feel capable of it.

All of my friends and family laughed and made fun of me when they found out I was the one who tripped the alarm. Everyone who knows me knows that I'm capable of causing something like this. I can laugh at myself now. I don't take myself seriously at all. I've grown used to doing these types of things. I can relate to my student because I've also suffered from missing the body/mind connection due to attention deficit and being highly sensitive. I have learned how to adapt and realize that I am good enough despite numerous blunders and mishaps. I used to be very hard on myself. I have learned, even though I don't always feel safe in the world that really I am.

I have a tendency to get really lost, become confused and forget even simple things easily. My nature is to disconnect from my body and I lose my bearings. I never feel like I know where I'm at or what's going on. I am often daydreaming and don't connect with what I'm doing and where I'm at. I have a tendency to panic and become even more lost and confused. I remind myself to calm down, come into my body and the moment and use the strategies I have learned to use. I think it is partly due to attention deficit and party due to being in the other realms much of the time. I vacillate between being here and elsewhere. It takes an effort on my part to be truly present.

How often have we spoken with someone and while we saw their mouth move and words come out, we didn't hear a word of what they just said? I'll often have to jolt myself out of it and pay attention. There are two parts to what happens. I think sometimes I'm just really not listening and there other times when the person that is speaking is not authentically and energetically connected with what they are saying. I watch the news and it seems like babble to me. I don't feel or discern the true meaning and message in what is being reported.

We are such vulnerable beings. We come to Earth and navigate through so many trials and tribulations to find our way. My student is only a 7 year old boy and already he is feeling that the world is not a safe place. He is struggling to find his way and feel successful. How many of us out there are over 7 that feel the same way that he does?! It is impossible to not make any mistakes. We are imperfect creatures that learn through our errors. We might try to appear like we've got it together on the outside and that we know exactly what we're doing and how to do it, but, in reality we are learning as we go.

I don't feel that our vulnerability is a weakness. Our strength lies in admitting to the fact that we need support from one another. We need to remind each other that it’s okay to be human. We must remind ourselves that it is okay to laugh at ourselves and not take life and situations so seriously. We are fragile and it is safe to be who we are. We need to remember we are good enough and are capable. It's okay to stop and ask for directions on the path of life.

We are teaching the children through our own authenticity. How far off are we really from the children? We pretend we've got it together. They are still figuring it out. Perhaps as we get more in touch with our inner child and vulnerabilities we can show up as our authentic selves. Then, when we speak, we will be saying what we really mean and when we listen, we will really be hearing and connecting with the message being imparted.

Prayer

Vulnerability

God,

Thank you for this gift of life. I accept it with all of its imperfections and all of my inadequacies. I know that we learn through our mistakes. I choose to see everyone as a Master. I focus only on our strength, inner beauty and perfection. I know through seeing things in a positive way, people and situations live up to my expectations.

I accept my vulnerability and I know that through this I am opening myself to my divinity in an honest and authentic way. I speak and listen from my heart and I really connect with the sacredness of all.
I release all thoughts and feelings of not being good enough. Show me how I can be a beacon of light for others. Allow me to shine brightly enough that through my actions others may follow.

Thank you for all my blessings on this day.

And so it is.

Amen.

Author's Bio: 

Stefanie Miller, is a teacher, energy healer, spiritual counselor and an intuitive, channeled writer. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in Education and has taught elementary school for over 16 years. Stefanie has been assisting individuals on their spiritual path since 1998. Her gentle, positive, and loving guidance, empowers individuals to find inner awareness and clarity by facilitating private sessions, workshops and through her channeled writing. She guides individuals in achieving self mastery by connecting with their Higher Self and Source through a heart centered focus.

Stefanie is very connected to nature and animals. As a pure channel for loving guidance coming directly from Source, her intuitive guidance comes through the Angelic and Fairy realms, including the Archangels, and has an exceptionally close bond with Archangel Michael. She works with the Ascended Masters, including but not limited to Tobias, Kuthumi, Yeshua, Metatron, Saint Germaine and the Angels of the Violet Flame.

Stefanie is a Priestess Initiate in the School of the Sacred Rose; Priestess Training of the Light. She connects with the Goddess energy, especially connecting with Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, Isis, Kuan Yin, Mother Gaia, and Kali.

Stefanie facilitates in person and long distance healing, clearing and balancing sessions which include spiritual guidance, intuitive counseling, energy clearing, etheric cord cutting, chakra balancing, dream interpretation, angel card reading, Color of Angels attunement, and Shamballa & Usui Reiki attunement.

Stefanie is certified and trained in Soul Focused Healing Technique, Reiki Master in Usui & Shamballa Multidimensional Reiki, Angel Therapy through Doreen Virtue and Emotional Freedom Technique. Stefanie’s lineage dates back to Atlantis and Lemurian times, thus, she works with alchemy in her healing practice incorporating essential oils, Bach Flower Essences, candles, sacred geometry and crystals. Stefanie has been a long time student of Kryon, the Crimson Circle (Tobias), Marianne Williamson and Louise Hay.

She has done extensive research on the topic of Indigo and Crystal Children. Stefanie facilitates workshops, private sessions and articles to assist the parents of Indigo/Crystal Children by introducing unique strategies and teaching methods based on spiritual, educational, and behavioral perspectives. Stefanie's gentle and compassionate nature supports both parents and children along their sacred path.