Chocolate hearts and Valentine messages soften the gray and cold of deep winter–opening up the heart in this icy season. This year, use winter’s little crack for the unexpected: Tackle greed.

Greed reveals itself in a child’s reluctance to share, and adults’ willingness to risk all in the pursuit of more. Theories about its origin range from the psychological (unsatisfied infant neediness) to the economic (a competitive drive for “betterment” or status). But origin is not destiny, and reviews of the literature show no positive connection between greed and happiness.

Greed has become so ingrained in the culture that it now seems inevitable, or normal. We walk around it, accept it, feel disgust in its presence, only rarely addressing it directly. But when adults are silent, children are vulnerable to cultural messages that implicitly encourage greed with no counterbalancing force. (i.e., it’s all about me; take what you can get; more, bigger, faster; win at any cost, etc…) Kids often interpret adult silence as tacit approval–or at least passive tolerance–leaving greed, as a character trait, to grow like weeds unchecked.

Using Valentine’s Day in an unexpected way makes it more memorable. Start the day by framing the subject in a new way. Ask or do the following:
• “If greed were a color, what might it be? Why?” Suggest they share what they think before they go to bed
• Ask them to recall acts of generosity and of greed among their friends, describing their reactions to each.
• Share something you view as your own greedy behavior–and how you now feel about it.
• Ask how we know the difference between wanting something really badly–and greed.
• Send grandchildren cards with the message that Valentine’s Day is a great day for exercising generosity and kindness. Make an Anti-Greed Oath with your 12-year-old. Offer to remind one another when greed makes an appearance. Read the paper together, circling in red those acts of generosity, and circling in green the examples of greed. Give a donation to his or her favorite cause; labeling it your Valentine’s Day Vanquishing Greed Campaign.

Grownups must name greed, making it–and your disapproval–visible. However sanctimonious you may sound as an adult, your voice is still a powerful way to help children develop character–and financial fitness.

Securities offered through registered representatives of MML Investors Services, Inc., 530 Fifth Avenue, 14th Floor, New York, NY 10036, 212-536-6000. Investment Advisory Services offered through Lenox Advisors, Inc. Lenox Advisors, Inc. is not a subsidiary of, nor affiliated with MML Investors Services, Inc. Lenox Advisors, Inc. is a wholly owned subsidiary of National Financial Partners Corporation [NFP], a financial services holding company, New York, NY. NFP is not an affiliate or subsidiary of MML Investors Services, Inc. CRN200912-97088

Author's Bio: 

Tom was a 2x All-American soccer player who played for the 3x National Champion University of Virginia Cavaliers. In their first outright national championship, Tom made several key saves in a penalty kick shoot-out which started the Cavaliers on their 3 championship run making them one of the best college soccer teams in the history of the game. He graduated from Virginia with the University’s Distinguished Student Honor.

After leaving the world of soccer, Tom started his current career of financial planning with Cowan. While there, he started his own company, Henske Advisors which was acquired by National Financial Partners prior to their going public shortly thereafter. He is now one of 6 partners nationwide for Lenox Advisors, a wholly owned subsidiary of NFP. Tom holds professional designations of:

Certified Financial Planner (CFP®)
Chartered Financial Consultant (ChFC),
Certified Life Underwriter (CLU),
Certified in Long Term Care (CLTC),
Certified Fund Specialist (CFS)
Certified Tax Specialist (CTS)

With his clients and their concerns in mind Tom developed a revolutionary program, Money-Smart Kids™. Money-Smart Kids provides tools and information to foster independence, good judgment and responsible habits in children. The program helps to instill in children a sense that having money is not a right, but a privilege. And, like all privileges, it needs to be honored and protected. The program is age based. No matter where children are in their development, Lenox has gifts, tips, recommendations, resources, books and DVD’s specifically addressing age appropriate issues.

The program has struck a nerve both locally and nationally and as such Tom is frequently invited speak with the media and at events. In fact, Dow Jones is so enthused about Money-Smart Kids, it is allowing Lenox to provide the Wall Street Journal Classroom Edition to clients. It is the first and only exception to Dow Jones’s classroom only distribution policy to date.

Besides working with individual clients on their financial planning needs, Tom also oversees the marketing vision for the firm. He is a sought after public speaker on the topic of developing financial literacy and values with children and was a featured speaker at The Million Dollar Round Table, attended by 10,000 people this past summer.

California Insurance License: 0D91781