Sometimes you have to find a plateau so you can clearly see where you have been, where you are, and where you want to go…..
I recently had one of those life defining experiences that challenged me to realize how my life has been dedicated to advocating, educating, and healing the developmental needs of children.
Hello, my name is Deborah Chelette-Wilson. I have to admit when I was a teen and thinking about my life I didn’t envision what has become my mission. I didn’t sit down and make it a goal to accomplish by following a plan. My mission began in the fertile ground of my childhood stresses and traumas. Those experiences, some known and some frozen in time and space, have thawed along my healing journey. I wanted to understand why I felt like a ping-pong ball aimlessly going from one thing to another when I saw my peers making and carrying out their plans, while I struggled. I wanted to know how to fill the hole of emptiness and shame that lived inside of me. I wanted to know what hid underneath the eruptions of anxiety and fear that crept over me like a dark blanket threatening to smother me. I wanted to know why I reacted from rage at those I loved. I wanted to know why I couldn’t maintain success at work, in relationships, and in my creativity. I cried out to the Universe to show me what to do. My prayers were answered and my healing journey began, sometimes with me kicking and screaming.
Through my process I have dedicated my life and aliveness to advocate for a more humane and mature world for children, beginning with the child in me. My advocacy has grown to include helping hurting adults in children’s lives who, despite their best efforts, pass on humanity’s intergenerational legacy of stress and trauma. Our 21st century, with our technological advances, has brought new stresses to the human condition. These new stresses are taking a toll on our health, inhibiting our ability to connect emotionally with each other, and leaving too many children behind economically, educationally, emotionally, and psychologically.
I was a later bloomer. I started college in my 30’s and finished in 1992 with a Master’s Degree in Human Relations through the College of Liberal Studies at Oklahoma University in Norman, Oklahoma. I began working on my licensure as a Professional Counselor, but in 1994 my husband retired from the Army and we moved to his home town in Texas. I was fortunate to find a job in the dropout prevention program of a local junior college. Our new life and challenges had begun.
In 1998, I completed my studies and became a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Texas.
I have been privileged to experience a diverse array of work settings, which have included:
All of these experiences have given me a unique perspective –especially the impact of stress, attachment, trauma, and relationships on our ability to regulate ourselves through the maize of our ever-changing 21st century lives.
Early childhood experiences create an intricate web of connections that create a blueprint for relationships, both good and ill, that we take with us into adult life and the workplace.Trauma became my focus and specialization. Beyond my degree I have continued to increase my expertise through trainings from the Trauma and Loss Institute in Michigan. In 2004 I began intense work with The Post Institute adding depth and a new understanding of stress, trauma, attachment, and relationships.
In 2009 I became the Texas Representative for the Post Attachment Parent Camp. This work has and continues to challenge me personally and professionally. Each day brings opportunities to deepen my practice of living from love rather than fear.
In 2010 I completed training in a program called the Great Behavior Breakdown based on the book by the same name written by B. Bryan Post. As a Certified Trainer and Coach of this model, I am excited to share this with parents and professionals so they can bring healing to hurting children. Through the understanding and practical applications of this model parents and professionals learn to reflect, relate and regulate their own stresses so they create an energetic island of safety that we now know is essential if we are to help children with challenging behaviors. Without calm, centered and trauma sensitive adults children cannot heal.
Having been foster parents of 2 foster daughters in Oklahoma, my husband and I wish we had known what we have since learned from The Post Institute. They both stretched our paradigms about parenting and parenting difficult children. My husband had raised three daughters who are beautiful, successful women, wives, and mothers. Between them we have 8 grandchildren. Raising them did not prepare him for our experiences. My education did not prepare me for our experiences. My own trauma history and the healing work I had done helped; however, nothing prepared me for what these girls came to trigger in me.
Moving from OKC to rural Northeast Texas was culture shock enough, but working in a school setting was another. Being new to the area I had to create a program to serve a community where I knew no one. It was very difficult but I stepped up to the task and was successful. During the 5 years I worked there we had many triumphs and tragedies: the death of our intermediate school principal within months of her retirement, killed by a drunk driver; several untimely high school students’ deaths due to automobile accidents and a home gas explosion; and the unexpected death of our high school assistant principal who lost her fight with cancer. My experiences and training helped me serve as a resource person in that community. I feel privileged for the sacred trust they placed in me. Those years challenged everything in me. They baptized me in the wildfires of living and made me grow. Those experiences crystallized my understanding of the power of relationships: to hurt and heal.
Teaching the Great Behavior Breakdown offers me the opportunity to share a message of hope for discouraged parents and professionals who have ‘tried everything and nothing seems to work.’ Together we create islands of safety for children who have been tossed about in the seas of life. We become the change we want to see in the world and those who benefit the most are the children. You will find more information at www.integratingtrauma.com
Together we can turn helplessness into cofidence; powerlessness into empowerment and hoplessness into hope.
To honor someone else's heart you must first honor your own.
We need to put humane back into human relationships.
Grow where you are planted.
To move on you must move in.
Trauma is what happens to us not who we are.
If we are truly going to help our children we need to help our child within.
Stress takes us out of relationships; first with ourselves and then with others.
As trauma is integrated we become islands of safety for children who have been tossed about on the seas of life. We live as the change we want to see in the world as Ghandi said and those who benefit the most are our children - our future.
To learn more about me visit my website www.deborahchelette-wilson.com where I have many articles, posts on my blog and facebook button. I am also on linkedin. or put my name in a search engine.