You Can't Be Both!

I had a need to be right for a long time. Maybe about 30 years - it kept me in a job I hated, my max earning was about $50k, I had no free time, and had created a situation where I could hardly make any of my own decisions. It became clear to me that being right no longer served me. I went as far as to have the belief that I wasn't really interested in seeking therapy or coaching. Period. I realize I was deeply afraid they might make me "wrong".

Some people will get tired of it. They will see that holding on to assumptions, ideas, and the need to be right will not get them to their desired life. Thank God I got sick and tired and was willing to let go. Honestly, the number one reason I see entrepreneurs struggle, suffer, and often quit is holding on to the need to be right.

You cannot have a new life, more business, or growth without being willing to stretch and be called out on the BS. I have heard many mentors say it to me over the last four years, but I think it was Ali Brown that I first heard say, "Do you wanna be right or do you wanna be rich?" You can't hold onto both desires. Growing a business, changing your life, getting clients, and making money take sacrifice.

Sacrifice is doing something you have never done to get something you have never had.

You can't sacrifice AND need to hold onto to being right, so here's my list of most frequently done things to sabotage your success and not make more money, help more people, and have an impact because you need to be right list! Make sure you clean this list up and move into openness, willingness, and readiness to CHANGE!

1) YES, BUT. Just remove it from your vocabulary. I have my private clients take improv class, because the #1 rule of improv is YES! Start changing the Yes, but to YES, YES! Yes, but will keep you stuck in your excuses around time, money, and knowledge.

REFRAME: YES! YES! Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly to start with!

2) I QUIT. This is always the easiest answer. It can be quick and it gets you out of pain - fast! But, guess what? Nothing changes...

REFRAME: I get exactly what I need when I need it. Is quitting going to move me closer to my dreams?

3) I DIDN'T GET WHAT I NEEDED. Blame is evil. I know - I did it. It makes us feel better when it isn't out fault. But again, it doesn't move us forward or change our outcomes.

REFRAME: I am 100% responsible for everything that happens - good, bad or in between.

4) THERE ISN'T ENOUGH (Time, Money, Resources, Help). When we are working from lack we get lack.

REFRAME: Everything I need is already present. And there is more than enough.

5) THAT HURT MY FEELINGS or I DON'T LIKE HOW THAT MADE ME FEEL. Feelings are choices, so when we choose hurt or negativity we then send that energy out into a ripple effect through the world.

REFRAME: I choose how I feel about everything. No one can make me feel anything. That is my choice. So, if I am offended the offense is within me.

6) NOT LISTENING. Many of you are working with coaches or in programs, but not willing to really do what is required of you or fully listen to their guidance.

REFRAME: I have chosen this person or this path for a reason and I am willing to do what is required even if I don't understand how or it might make me wrong.

When we step up to self-responsibility in all we do, we eliminate the need to be right. We eliminate the fear of sacrifice. To truly help more people you have to be willing to help yourself. To be the change in the world, you have to change. And it starts with being ok with letting go. If we can let go of being right and not care who gets the credit then we can change the world over and over and over again.

(c) 2010 Suzanne Evans