He had come to see me that Monday afternoon, a few months ago. Just a couple of days earlier he had been raped in jail; four men held him down while a fifth one abused him. “My soul has been destroyed.” We drank home-made juice on my balcony.

I told him: “I hear what you say. Can you believe however, anywhere in your ‘system’ that your soul can’t be destroyed? It’s our ego’s – our self-perceptions – that get hammered. Our souls can never be doused in water – they are an undying fire, deep within. A soul is a tiny piece of God.”

He recognized what I spoke about, and took it to heart.

Now, a few months later, he’s been able to start healing the wounds that were inflicted on him, that one night in jail. Through his own strength, his own perseverance, his own faith in himself, his soul and the greater forces beneath all of this.

He wrote to me this morning, and gave me the best compliment I’ve ever received for my book. With one simple sentence he acknowledged what has motivated me since 2001 – to find ways of healing men. Through my writing. “[Y]our book is a true inspiration. It was exactly what I needed to ‘cleanse the wound’.”

I see a man. Walking his path.
Walking, with the strength of a lion, the might of a mammoth and the passion of a dragon.
A man so strong he manages to see himself in the mirror, and work his way through his ordeal.
So the wounding can stop with him.

That, for me, is strength. That, for me, is true masculinity.

I take off my hat, and bow in grace.

Author's Bio: 

Aernout Zevenbergen is an author, journalist and speaker on issues of men, masculinity and spirituality. Zevenbergen is based in Cape Town, South Africa, where he settled after years of gallivanting Africa.