It is very easy to say to yourself that if only you could change something’s about your partner then everything in your relationship will work out fine for you and maybe that is why your relationship is not working.


You may not want to say out loud that you blame your partner for your relationship going bad yet you do it with yourself and feel a sense of entitlement because they did not do it for you.

Issues of abandonment

You may feel that you have been doing all the right things to make your relationship work and you do not understand why it is not working.

You may also do the right things because you are afraid that the person may leave because you have issues of abandonment that you have not resolve from the past and you brought it into this new relationship and everything you do is to keep the person happy so they do not leave.


Do you find yourself controlling what your partner is doing, do check to see if they have done it right and are you quick to point out what they have done wrong than right.

When you check what your partner did do you find yourself doing it over because they have not done it the way you want it done and does that affect your sex life in that you hold back as a way of punishment to your partner.

Do you find that when things in general does not go your way you get upset and in fact you feel that people must give to you what you want and when you want it otherwise you will get angry.

Right fighter

Are you a right fighter which means that you will and must be right at all cost even when you are wrong you will fight for your position?

When you have a right fighter and your partner is not they may walk all over their beliefs and feeling to keep peace in the home which does affect everyone in the household on how they see life even the little ones.

Your partner may not do or say the things you want them too your job is to ask yourself if being right all the time is worth losing your relationship.

Becoming aware

Becoming aware of your behaviour at different moment and admitting to your feelings is part of the steps to take to heal.

Becoming aware of what topic you both fight most of the time about may give you a clue of what is not working.

Sometimes the thing that you are fighting about is not the real problem, it is something else that you have not cleared up and is still bothering you in other words it is hidden behind all the other stories you tell yourself.

Getting in touch with what emotions are touching you to heal yourself is it about trust, not being recognize or appreciated, lack of affection.

Conclusion: Your relationship may not be working because of some of these reasons and it is for you to find out if your actions are helping to create the problem and to take action to resolve it.

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