Why didn't you say that before?

There are people who, when you ask them to do something, their immediate response is “why didn’t say that before.”

“Before what? I just thought of it just a second ago!”

I believe people who always do this are called procrastinators. When they are asked to do something, even if they are not doing anything at the moment, their immediate reaction is to stall. Some may be right in calling such behavior ADHD as I later learned that two of the symptoms of this condition are procrastination and inability to manage time. However when I was younger I had never heard anything about such an illness.

In my adult years I came to know, live and work with people who were procrastinators - both friends and family. One family member frustrated me a lot with his procrastination and poor time management. Whenever I would ask him to do something, whether big or small, the immediate response was “Why didn’t you tell me that before”. Nothing could be spontaneous with Reggie. For example, let’s say it is a bright sunny day, you are at home with no particular plans or just on the couch watching TV that is not even interesting. You suddenly get the idea to go to the park, beach or to the mall. Reggie would say “Why didn’t you tell me that before?” Needless to say, that would kill all the enthusiasm of wanting to go out with Reggie. Sometimes I would insist and nag until he eventually agreed and got off couch. I agree that people should plan the use of their time, but sometimes ideas pop into your head and you want to be spontaneous - but spontaneity was impossible with Reggie.

Reggie was smart, had a lot of artistic gifts and quite a capable person but he sat on all of those wonderful God-given talents. He worked hard at his job but when he was at home you couldn’t get him to do much. He would act only “under duress” i.e. when someone needed something urgently. He acted only when there was a crisis and then would get little or no sleep to get whatever it was done to meet a deadline. In the family he was given the nickname “last minute Charlie.”

Reggie was an artist, a designer, musician, sculptor and plastic modeler and had other technical skills such as, plumbing, carpentry and cooking. He started many projects but completed only a few. There were so many unfinished projects that were simply abandoned because he lost interest along the way. However, he loved Chinese food and fancied himself as a food critic and chef. He never cooked for the family but on special occasions would put on a display for the neighbors to show off his mastery of Chinese cuisine. He had all the required utensils and tools for his art, various spices, oils and Asian cookbooks. He also enjoyed reading and collecting recipes from magazines and newspapers. He even had a Chef’s hat for those occasions! He loved the attention lavished on him by the neighbors during block parties and street fairs!

Reggie wanted the family to remind him about everything he had to do because he lacked the ability to manage his time. If anyone of us forgot to remind him we would feel his wrath as if it was our fault that he didn’t do whatever he was scheduled to do, or that he was late for an appointment. It was always someone else’s fault or the bus, the train, the taxi or the weather but never his own. Reggie knew he had a problem with procrastination but lived in denial – like an ostrich with its head in the sand.

He continued to chastise us for not informing him about ideas or suggestions early enough so that he could participate or give his advice. Yet we reminded him days and hours in advance of the scheduled events. If he went at all, he would often be so very late! Frankly, Reggie’s procrastination kept him for making good use of his talents and achieving so much more. While we got Reggie to start keeping a journal, he didn’t believe he had a problem and so didnt seek professional help.

When Reggie almost lost his job for being late, he finally decided to do something about it. He began to wake up two hours earlier so that he would have enough time to get himself ready and to travel to his job. He would get to work two hours ahead of time and leisurely drink his coffee, read his books and chat with the other workers who happened to be around at that time. He was an avid reader and always carried a novel or two to read during his break times.

Reggie’s procrastination continued well into his retirement. He still blamed others for his lack of achievement but it became less and less as he then had more time to do as he pleased. Reggie stopped keeping a journal and watched television while attempting to work on bits and pieces of his projects. He kept the TV on 24/7 whether he was asleep or awake. Psychologists say that people like Reggie need a lot of help but they have to be willing to take the first step. You can “bring the horse to water but you can’t make it drink.”