When flights and family don’t leave on time

When flights and family don’t leave on time
Dealing with family dynamics during the holidays

The negative reactions, beliefs, emotions, attitudes and behaviors that are frequently triggered by flight delays and family get-togethers which appear to be “just what happens” are not normal and can be changed . You can learn to handle any of life’s difficulties peacefully while maintaining a positive, calm, tolerant and loving attitude, no matter what your family does or the situation.

I know this sounds amazing, but it’s true

All it takes is a willingness on your to:

1. Learn
2. Persist
3. Release your own negative emotions/reactions again and again

You can be free of the negativity that surrounds you.

You can be a demonstration to those in your world, of a different way of handling life’s difficulties -

Become the Power of one

So how do we do this ?

Most of our negative reactions, beliefs, attitudes or behaviors belong to our negative personalities (NP’s) not our true selves. (You can call them a false self, negative self, etc)
Learning to de-stimulate and release these from our lives will massively change our negative reactions to life’s daily challenges because our impinging NP will no longer exist. There are also outside sources of negativity that affect our mood, thoughts and behavior on a daily basis, so we need to learn how not to be affected by these.

What to do if a situation or family member has triggered an NP of ours:

Step1: If we feel our thoughts are becoming negative, but we have some time before we open our mouth to speak, we can keep our mouth shut. This stops our NP gaining control of our tongue. This is the first step to us learning to control this impinging NP.
If our NP has instant control of our tongue (as is often the case), once we realize we’re in an NP of ours, again stop talking and we’re back in control again.

Step 2: Take time out from the situation .Simply walk away from the situation or person who is stimulating our NP (going to the bathroom is a good excuse).
Now you are feeling better and back in control.

Step 3: When we have time, write down the situation or circumstance that triggered our NP e.g The plane was late – I felt myself become frustrated /angry or dad spoke to me like I was still a small child, not an adult.

Step 4: The following is a summary of “The self sessioning process”

• Find a place where you won’t be disturbed
• Imagine you are back in the incident that triggered the negative reaction in you. Ask yourself, what was the emotion you felt (anger, frustration, sadness, resignation, hopelessness, overwhelm, etc).
• Allow yourself to totally experience the emotion.
• It will disperse or release from you

Step 5: Ask yourself: In order to react the way I did, to that situation, with that emotion – What is the negative belief I have about myself? Make it an “I” statement e.g I got angry because the plane was delayed, I hate it when things don’t go right, etc

Now you are ready to release your NP

Step 6: Write down the personality of the triggered NP, how it behaves, why it behaves as it does, etc. (Write as if it is separate from you, because it actually is)
As you write down its negative personality, shut your eyes. You will see a shape separate from you (any shape). This is the NP – separating from you. (it isn’t you)

Once you have a shape…

Step 7: Find yourself in relationship to the shape. You maybe source of light, calmness or just your body.
Now, look at the shape – then back at yourself (eyes closed)
The shape will begin to shrink and you will begin to grow. Go back and forth.Look at the shape then at yourself…

You are releasing your NP

Once the shape has completely disappeared you are ready for the step. You should feel more relaxed, relieved, calm etc. Let this feeling fill your body.

Step 8: Ask yourself: What has been the effect on my life of this NP that I have just released.

Step 9: How would the “Real You”(that newly established calm,relaxed you) have handled the situation?

Step 10: Go back into your imagination and see the real you handling the situation/ person differently.

Step 11: See what happens next time a similar situation occurs, and how you react to it.
Go to self-sessioning again and again if necessary until the real you is handling these situations with calm, happy confidence.

This is how one step at a time you gain more control in your life instead of those impinging NP’s, you’re becoming the person you know you really are.

Now, imagine this calm, positive, tolerant attitude expanding out all around you, filling the room. You are having a calming, positive influence on those around you.

Now you are becoming “The Power of One”

Keep going and release the next NP.

Lots of love and positivity from

Dr. Live in the Positive
Dr Keith Maitland PS If you require more help go to my website keithmaitland.com my contact details are there